3 Simple Ways to Control Your Thoughts, Stop Worrying and Start Living

Ready to take action and manage those pesky worries? It’s time to master your mind.

Ever felt like someone else is in control of your mind? Your thoughts swirl, your emotions surge and - no matter how hard you try - you just can’t seem to stick to that healthy eating plan, or stop yourself from checking Facebook, even though it’s taking you down a comparison spiral.

Well, the fact is, a huge part of your brain isn’t being managed by you; at least not on a conscious level.

Numerous studies conducted by neuroscientists have shown that up to 95% of brain activity is beyond our conscious awareness.

Shit! We should probably give up now, right?

Not so fast. Just because a large proportion of our mind is subconscious/unconscious (the place where all deep memories, acquired learning, automatic skills and learnt habits live), that doesn’t mean that we can’t access and affect it; it just means that in order to do this, we have to do it on purpose.

So, how the hell do we go about doing that? I hear you ask.

Here are three simple ways to start gaining control of your mind:

1) Check the Story You’re Telling Yourself

We all tell ourselves stories. “He clearly thinks I’m stupid.” “I must have done something to upset her.” “They’ll never think I’m good enough for that.”

They are our mind’s way of protecting us: keeping us away from potential harm; avoiding embarrassment, shame and failure. These stories have been told and retold by humans since the very beginning, when getting kicked out of your clan meant isolation and inevitable death. I mean, who wouldn’t want to avoid that at all costs?!

So, we learnt to be cautious about taking any action that might lead us down this daunting path. It served us to listen to the cautious tales our mind told us; the tales that would stop us from moving forwards into potential danger.

The big question is: Does this worry and over-caution still serve us?

In today’s world, we’ve developed to a point where shame, embarrassment and failure might not feel amazing, but they sure as hell won’t mean inevitable death. The problem is, our minds haven’t always caught up with this realisation.

So we need to get deliberate about our thinking. We need to start thinking on purpose, whenever we can.

Next time your mind starts to whirl with worry, ask yourself these three simple questions: What story am I telling myself? How is this story serving me? What else could be true?

Example:

Q: What story am I telling myself? A: “He clearly thinks I’m stupid.”

Q: How is this story serving me? A: “It’s not. If I continue to think it without changing something or taking action, it’ll leave me feeling anxious, frustrated, bitter and upset. I will probably ruin my day if I continue on this path. Next time I see him, I may act oddly and that could affect us moving forwards.”

Q: What else could be true? A: “He didn’t understand what I said. He is having a bad day and was distracted. He needed time to think about it.”

Both the story from question 1 and the story from question 3 could be true, or perhaps neither are true. The fact is that you’re never likely to know for sure and, in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? What you do know for sure is that one story will leave you feeling a whole heap of challenging emotions, and the other will enable you to get on with your day! You can choose which path to take.

TAKE ACTION: Make a note of the three key questions – somewhere that you can easily refer back to, like your phone or a note in your wallet. Next time you feel your mind telling a story that starts to bring up negative feelings, STOP and go through the questions until you have a new story to tell yourself. Repeat this story to yourself until you start to feel the calmness wash over you. Each time you find yourself reaching back to the original tale, repeat the process.

2) Do a Brain Dump

When you feel as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, and your head is full of a million thoughts, a simple way to start clearing the fog is to dump those thoughts onto paper. Write down every word that swirls through your head. From the tiny, silly ponderings to the grand, dramatic fears.

As you experience natural pauses, look at the mess of words and say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Just by getting these things out of our heads and onto paper, we not only feel a sense of release and catharsis, but we can start to realise the crazy stories that we’re telling ourselves, and head back to step 1 to reframe them.

TAKE ACTION: Get yourself a little notepad and pen or save a note on your phone. Have these with you whenever you can so that you’re ready to do a brain dump when your mind starts to swirl.

3) Get Grateful

Overthinking and worry can leave us with a ton of negative feelings. Without purposeful interruption, the mind can then lead us down a rabbit warren of negativity: what started out as a small worry, quickly turns into a mess of overwhelm.

One of the best ways to stop the negativity in its tracks is to lead the brain to positivity. Gratitude has been proven time and time again as a transformational tool in bringing more contentment, peace and happiness into our lives.

TAKE ACTION: Every morning, start your day by stating one thing you’re grateful for. Get specific and, if you can, write it down so that your brain gets the effect from thinking, saying, writing and reading. Do the same thing before you go to bed at night.

Additionally, when you find yourself in a whirl of worry, break the pattern by stating out loud all the things that you are grateful for in that moment: the sound of the wind in the trees, the support of the chair you’re sitting on, the purr of the cat on your lap.

 The key to overcoming worry is to be deliberate about our thoughts: to start thinking on purpose whenever we can. By following these three simple steps whenever worry takes hold, we can learn to get out of our old thought patterns and into new ones.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Leave me a comment below, telling me three things you’re grateful for in this moment. Plus, don’t forget to join my tribe for more inspiration, tools, tips and insights.