3 Simple Steps Go From Totally Unfulfilled To Feeling Like A Boss In Control Of Your Life.

So many people are telling me they feel totally unfulfilled in their lives yet feel stuck or confused about how to change it. I've been there! We're going to look at 3 simple things you can do today that can take you from unfulfilled to feeling like a total boss in control of your life.

We get the "right" job, marry the "right" partner, have the "right" amount of kids, and make the "right" amount of money... yet why are we still feeling more unfulfilled than ever? This is definitely a pandemic of emotional distress sweeping our Western world & you can probably relate. I was there, great job, top in my field, making boss ass money and all before the age of 25. Yep, I had it all. Yet there I was, more miserable than ever! I'd done all the "right" things! I've completed all my "shoulds," so why am I then denied the privilege of the joy that everyone seems to promise when we achieve all this stuff? Day in and day out we're marketed that happiness and fulfilment are what we need to strive for. The formula seems to be to buy the thing or get the job or have the look but time and time again people, like myself, that achieve all these things fail to get the promised elation at the end of the tunnel. If anything, we feel more deflated the higher up the ladder we climb.

My theory is that this is because we've been promised a false joy that will come when we check off the boxes and the more boxes we check off, and the more that promised joy doesn't come, the more desperate we begin to feel. "I'll feel happy when..." is the infamous mantra that we constantly repeat to ourselves in an attempt to convince ourselves that next time will be better. The success keeps coming, the wins, the promotions and yet there we are still waiting for that promised joy. And now it's still not here! We're pretty high up on that ladder of ours. We've put blood, sweat and tears into our journey and we're good! Yet the allusive feeling of joy escapes us. Now it's panic stations! Heartbeat rising. Sweating. A choking feeling that I'm never going to get there, wherever "there" actually is. Then the whispers begin, "You're just not good enough yet." Oh no. What a formula for disaster. And we know it! We're not stupid, but how do we stop it?!

If you relate to this feeling, then you're not alone. Millions of people feel this way. I felt that way! It feels horrible and yet we have got ourselves caught up in an illusion of success and a habit that we have no idea how to break. Let me assure you, there IS light at the end of the tunnel, once you realise how to break free of the illusion. Once I woke up, I ended up completely transforming my life. I was young and wildly successful in the science and medical industry. Doing what I always imagined, to help people in health. I was making bank, I had respect, and I ran a large team. Using societal measurements - checked, check, check. By all accounts, I was a boss-ass bitch! Yet there I was, feeling trapped, unfulfilled and miserable. Day in and day out I began to resent my life. I looked around and started to hate every aspect of it until I got myself in such a state that tapping out seemed like the only viable option for escape. But my fascination with mental health and the ability of some people to live "happily ever after" kept me grounded on this Earth. Was it all a fairytale, or could people really find that elusive "purpose" they tell us we need to find? Fast forward nearly a decade and I can tell you it's most certainly true! And what's more, it feels absolutely FABULOUS! In fact, I didn't know life could feel so good! And what's more, I've managed to feel this way, on the whole, for nearly 7 years straight! I'm going to teach you the most important paradigm shifts you need in order to get out of the illusion they teach us that keeps us stuck in our lives so you can go from feeling unfulfilled to feeling in total control of your life. Ready?

Paradigm Shift #1 - It's You. You're The Problem

I know, I know, not very romantic a notion. Yet, stay with me! It's more powerful than you can possibly imagine. You see, we're taught that everything happens TO us, conditioned to feel like we have no control, which makes us feel overwhelmed and stressed out. When we understand that we are our own problem, we understand that that means, by its very definition, we are our own solution. That's POWERFUL! This has nothing to do with blame, blame is lame. Blame is powerless, blame is weak. Blame does NOT get results. We're talking about responsibility. What's the saying? With great responsibility comes great, what? Exactly, POWER. Or is it the other way around? Either way, it's true. Do you want to change your life? The first thing we need to do is wake up and realise that we have the power to do that already within us.

Paradigm Shift #2 - Emotions Are Your Most Powerful Sense

How many senses do we have? The standard answer is 5, right? Sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. So, where does that leave our emotions? Not classified as a sense. They're almost classified as an inconvenience and many cultures and communities have even tried to convince people that emotions are shameful or a sign of weakness. All of this basically distracts you from understanding the power this vital sense gives you. If I taught you to feel like an absolute loser every time you used your sight, how much would that impact your life? If you can see, then you'd probably see something without much control over it unless you taught yourself to keep your eyes closed at all costs or else society would judge you. This sounds absurd yet it's exactly what we've done with emotions. We're not supposed to acknowledge or use them and for shame if we accidentally open ourselves to feelings! Jeez, we even label emotions as medical conditions! If you're "depressed", or "anxious", there MUST be something wrong with you. You're broken! Take a pill to fix your damaged little body. I used to feel sick to my stomach and super judgmental about myself for feeling depressed and anxious. Ironically only making it much worse. There's a reason that society doesn't teach us how to use this sense, it's the most valuable and powerful sense we have! Think of the competitive edge you would have if you didn't fall victim to your fears or insecurities. What could you do? What could you achieve? You'd feel unstoppable! This is 100% achievable for everyone to attain if they understand how to use their emotions as they were intended, a guidance system. Just like pain is used to guide us to protect our physical body, emotions are a guide to protect our mental body. I don't know about you, but since I use my mind 24/7 (even when I'm sleeping - they're called dreams), I think it's probably one of the most important things to get total control of. That's why I created my Total Reeboot coaching program, to help people learn how to understand and use their emotions to get back control of their life. So people can stop feeling overwhelmed like life's happening to them, and start feeling in total control, like life's happening for them.

Paradigm Shift #3 - You're Not Looking For One Thing

Fulfilment isn't just one thing. They teach us that when we find that "one thing" we're meant to do, then we will be living our purpose and we'll be happy. Here's the thing, we get what we look for. So, if we're looking for something that doesn't work, guess what? We will fail, every time! There's no "one thing." That's the wrong way of looking at our "purpose." I believe we're here to do something important, but HOW we do that can change. I always felt like I had to help people feel more in control of their lives. I thought that was through the medical and science industry but quickly discovered that it did little more than offer toxic drugs that often made people sicker while teaching a paradigm that we're broken and need something external, like a pill or a scalpal, to fix us. Yeah, I don't believe that rubbish any more. And since I went from incredibly sick to feeling on top of the world, I think that updated belief definitely works for me. But don't let me influence you! You do whatever works for you! But for the love of God, make sure it IS working for you. Ok, so that was strike one for me. A swing and a miss! So, then I went into business coaching, helping people but now to expand and grow their business.

This was really fun for me and I was actually pretty good at it. I worked specifically with vision alignment and employee engagement. It was clearly evident to me that if your team aren't on board with your long-term company goals, you're not going to achieve them since people are the ones that drive your company forward. I felt amazing in my role. I definitely felt fulfilled... but then a few years later, I began to get that longing in my stomach again. A drive to do something different. So, this wasn't "it?" Another swing and a miss. Now, I'm an oddball, so I went in a completely different direction. I took up acting. Yes, you heard that right, acting. I had no experience, I was over 30, and I was in Perth, Australia where there were few opportunities available. All the things people around me reminded me about all the time, telling me why I was being stupid to "throw away my amazing career to pursue something so unattainable." They repeated this so many times I even found my little inner voice repeating it a few times and I had to constantly remind that little bugger that if I can heal myself from the "chronic, irreversible diseases," then I can do anything!

I signed up to one of the top acting schools in Perth, which is a whole other story as to how I even got accepted! Talk about persistence and divine intervention! But there I was, in the class. Me and 8 of the BEST darn actors I'd ever seen! And let me tell you - I was the WORST actor ever. No, that's not even just my opinion, my acting coach who has worked in LA and has been acting and teaching for over 3 decades literally came to me after the first course and grabbed me by the shoulders. She looked me square in the eye and with so much love, yet brutal honesty said, "Ze, I love you. I've been in this business for over 30 years and you are hands down one of the worst actors I've ever seen." Talk about a blow to the chest. I know that most people would have given up at that point. But I've never been like most people. So, I took it to mean, "Ze, I love you. You are weird and haven't learnt the way I'm able to teach you. You need to find a way that works for you." After all, reality is all about how you want to spin the truth. Most people spin the "truth" to mean taking others' opinions as facts that hold them back, rather than creating their own truths that lift them up. Fast forward 6 months later and I'm called out by one of LA's most prominent casting directors as the best actor of the group and I was quickly snapped up by an agent. Only a few months later I was signed onto one of the first ABC series filmed in WA in the last decade!

I loved acting. I completed the first series but then I had to admit that it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. I had a certain idea of what it would feel like to be on set, the glam, the fun, the creativity. But the reality is you're on set for hours at a time repeating the same 30-second scene over and over again until you want to scratch your eyes out. The boredom! The intense boredom! As soon as they yelled, "cut," all my creative cheekiness would burst out of me and I'd become the "class clown" getting the other actors so wiled up that it took a moment for the director to get us all back under control. It's no wonder that I made it into most of the Bloopers reels. But the crew all let me get away with it because I think they all liked the playful comedy that I infused into their day. When they offered me a contract for the second season, I had to respectfully decline. I love acting to this day, more comedy than anything. I LOVE making people laugh. The joy I can give to another literally feels like the greatest thing on Earth for me. But it seems that this was yet again, another swing and a miss for me.

Finally, I dove headfirst into my coaching business. I'd been coaching people for about 6-7 years at that stage, but it was more like an "on-the-side project." Something I was great at and gave people a lot of value but not something I ever seriously put my heart and soul into. Not the coaching, I put EVERYTHING into my clients and always will. I love my clients. I mean the business. I was good at a lot of things but business is a whole different kettle of fish. But now I felt the calling. I MUST go 110% into my business. I registered it as an official company and began overhauling every aspect of my business. I had the coaching part down, but the marketing, sales, finances - oh lord help me! I had to register for social media accounts. Do you even know how much my skin crawls at this one task?! I'm an excellent coach, I'll admit when I'm good, but I was a lousy entrepreneur. So I signed myself up for business coaching immediately. And I didn't cheap out! $15,000 for the year. Yeah, that's a big number. But I know that without investing in some help, I could spend the next 10 years making mistakes to get me where they could just teach me in 6 months. The BEST decision I made, I learnt a tonne of stuff and I have now set myself up to be able to live and breathe my passion every day. I wake up every day and I feel fulfilled. In fact, I feel so magnificent and I already thought I felt good before, this is off the charts! I think this is what people are trying to attain. When you wake up and KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what you're meant to be doing. I literally LOVE the work. And I don't want to sugarcoat it, this is fricken hard!! A business is BS, ridiculously hard!! I have to do so much crap that I HATE just so I can do more of what I love... and yet, I love every moment. This is what, I believe, people are looking for when they say they want to find "their purpose."

Ok, I hear most of you saying, "That's a great story but what's the point? How does this relate to me?" The point is that most people are looking for that "end part" first. The point is that without the initial part of the story, the "end part" DOESN'T EXIST! Really. It's the journey that makes the "end part" the "end part". I have a friend. He's a genius but he's so focused on finding that "end part" that he's stuck not doing ANYTHING valuable. He works in a shitty job that he knows is beneath him and is terrified of doing anything different in case it's not the "end part," all the while feeling miserable where he currently is. Well, I hate to say it but it DEFINITELY won't be the "end part" next for him! But if he never takes that swing and a miss, he will NEVER get to the "end part" he so craves. Dam it, right? I know. I wanted that "end part" first too. Everyone does!

I don't know how long it will take you to reach the "end part" but I do know with 100% certainty that staying in a place you hate because you don't want to take a swing and a miss will keep you away from your "end part" forever. What we're really afraid of is taking that next step and feeling as miserable as we feel now. But I got some great news for you - if you learn how to cultivate more fulfilment in your current situation, which I teach people how to do all the time and it's easier than you think, then you can actually begin to enjoy the journey to the "end part."

Being a business advisor was so much fun! And I was great at it, even though it wasn't my "end part." Being an actor was so much fun, even though it wasn't my "end part." But I'll tell you what, if I remained a Pharmacist or a Biomedical Scientist, I would have hated my life and everything about it and probably allowed myself to get so sick that I would have taken my own life. Dark, I know. But that's the honest truth. That horrible situation, that absolute challenge in my life was there to propel me to take a step forward into the unknown that I needed to do in order to find my "end part." And if I can do it, anyone can. There are tools you can learn to make this easier. It doesn't have to be overwhelming. It can even be fun and exciting. If you want help, you can always see if you qualify for my Total Reboot coaching program.

And the best part about all this is that I KNOW this "end part" for me is simply the beginning. In another few years, I will probably be doing something that's even more amazing than what I'm doing now. The point is that I LOVE where I am right now and I know I'll LOVE where I'll be in the future. The truth is we don't know the "end part" until the end, if you know what I mean. The BEST part about all this is that this is also possible for you right now. You CAN wake up right now, today and totally love your life. You can wake up right now and feel fulfilled and on purpose. You can wake up right now and be excited about the next step. You're so close to this feeling you want, closer than you even know. The "how" lies right between your ears! You just need to learn how to train your mind to benefit you, rather than allowing it to make you feel stuck in a situation you don't love. The best part is, once you know how to do this, it's a superpower you keep forever! As I said, I teach people how to do this for a living and I'm blown away by the amazing results my clients get. It always lifts me up to see them years later, living the life they always dreamed of. I catch up with many of my former clients just to hear about their magnificent journeys. It keeps me inspired to keep going and helping others wake up to their own power.

You have a choice right now to draw a line in the sand. You can say, "No more feeling stuck or overwhelmed or miserable! I deserve to feel good now!" And know that I'm cheering you on from here because I know you can do it. It's not if you CAN do it, but WILL you decide to do it? I hope you do. I hope you decide to take back control of your life. I hope you live the best fricken life of your dreams! You're a gift. One I have a lot of love for and you deserve to feel good. The only thing in your way is you.

As always, sending you all lots of love,

Ze Winters

BSc Mol Bio; Biomed; Hons; MPharm

TOP Minds CEO & Master Mind Trainer

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: All TOP Minds material is for educational and/or illustration purposes only and is provided with the understanding that the company is not engaged in rendering health, legal, accounting, or other professional opinions. If health, legal, accounting, or other expert assistance is required, the service of a competent professional should be sought.?

.

.

.

.

?#perth #australia #empoweredwomenperth #mindsettraining #lifecoach #mindsettraining #topminds #thinkonpurpose #bethechange #empoweredmindset #inspireothers #Dealingwithpain #healthylife #chronicdisease #stressmanagement #destress #limitingbeliefs #breakthroughs #transformations #livejoyfully