The 3 Second Rule on Linkedin

Every week I get connection requests from people on Linkedin

Such is the impersonal nature of most, they will mostly be refused. Unless I have met the person (and can be sure they're not a bot) or get a message that convinces me it's a good idea to connect, most requests are rejected.

In this age of fast attention spans, statistics, numbers and the expectation of immediate results, the lost art of building relationships appears to be getting lost on Linkedin

My most recent example is a spectacular combination of 'can't be bothered' and 'not interested'. I have no wish to name or shame so I have removed the parts of this communication that could lead to its source. No doubt some of you will already have this verbatim in your own inbox! I received this...

"My new book may interest you. It’s about an idea for a ________________ for companies that seek to _____________. I call it the ___________________________"

I don't know how you feel about it, but anyone who can't be bothered to start a new relationship by taking the 3 seconds to add my name to what is clearly a cut and pasted message is a personal networking crime that is very hard to bounce back from. In this case I thought I would offer this person another opportunity to connect. I replied...

"Dear ______, Thank you for your message. Well done on writing a book. I know the process and appreciate your dedication. Also, kudos to you for writing a message with your connection request. That puts you in the top 5% of the requests I get, most with nothing at all. Maybe I can be so bold as to give you a few suggestions on how to approach people on Linkedin in the future. It feels like a cut and paste job here. Not even my name on it! That's a few seconds that are well worth investing. It's unlikely anyone will care too much about your book until they get to know the person behind it, and this was not a good first contact! I'll need a better reason than this to connect, because right now I have little interest in the book! You are welcome to have another go, but this doesn't make me want to connect with you just yet. Warmest wishes, Adam"

Our self-promoting book-writer then replied, demonstrating a spectacular ability to miss the point, or maybe I did...

"Adam, I take your point and really appreciate the time and thought you put into making it. Since the book's subject matter doesn't provoke interest for you, it doesn't make sense for us to connect here, because my focus is to spark new thinking about ___________. Best,"

I'm not sure that there was any point writing anymore on the subject but I did anyway!

"I may well have had an interest with the right approach _____, but we will not find that out now. I wish you well in spreading the word and the very best of luck, Adam"

Is the world of Linkedin really going down this path? There are plenty who I meet that do not agree. So, I'm putting this out there: is investing face-time on building up real relationships with real people now a luxury with Linkedin, or is it possible to hit the ground running without getting to really connect with your audience?

I know on-line marketers who make a lot of money through this channel so I'm genuinely interested in gauging your opinion on this one.