3 Relationship Misconceptions You Needed To Know About Yesterday

1) Tension is Bad

The tension in our partnerships is often looked at negatively. I'm here to tell you - tension is a sign that your relationship is in a period of growth . . .

BUT only if you allow it. You see, we tend to avoid tension because we think it's bad. By avoiding the tension, it grows, we create something we don't want and then wonder how it happened. You end up taking actions to avoid the tension instead of using it as leverage for growth.

"What you resist persists."

Instead of avoiding the tension, use it to understand your partner (and for them to understand you). If you have tension currently or the next time you do, remember that it's a phenomenal sign that the relationship is ALIVE and is inviting you to lean into it and grow from it.

2) More Communication is Better

Couples tend to believe the more communication, the better. While consistent communication is great, we need to remember that it is how meaningful and attentive the communication is that is essential.

Take intentional time to engage in deep conversations and active listening each week. The impact of a shorter, but more engaged talk is leaps and bounds more powerful than any distracted and superficial conversation.

3) Marriage is a Fairy Tale

Hollywood does a great job at making us believe in "happily ever after." Part of the reason (not even close to the only one) the divorce rate is so high is that people expect the hollywood ending to last a lifetime. I firmly believe you can have an incredible, mind-blowing relationship (I better since it is my mission to help you achieve that). That said, what that does not mean is that every single day is a perfect day filled with no loss, no setbacks, no challenges, and no conflict.

The expectation of perfection is a false narrative. The expectation of perpetual bliss is a guarantee for disappointment.

So, what do I mean when I say mind-blowing? A relationship that is phenomenal is one where each partner respects the other enough to honor that they both will change over time - one in which adaptation is essential. This is why I work with couples on their communication skills (it is a practice that takes, well, practice).

"Where focus goes, energy flows."

Your marriage will have ups and it will have downs. That is a guarantee. If it will last and have more ups than downs is up to both partners. You need to invest in your relationship. Relationships are dynamic, not static. The disconnection we feel in our relationships often comes from the neglect from one or both partners. No judgment, life is full of all sorts of distractions - it is easy to think you'll get to it eventually. The truth is, you won't or you don't - and then that connection is lost, that communication is out of practice.

Be Well.

Therapy is dope. It can change your life for the better. Asking for help is strength.

Be Kind.

Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.

Do Good.

Join a group. Connect. Volunteer. Helping others is helping yourself.

About Me

???? I'm Frederick Van Riper, Founder of Seat at the Table Coaching and?Certified Fair Play Method Facilitator.

?? I help married men revive their marriages and thrive with confidence.

Seat at the Table Coaching stands at the forefront of a pivotal shift, aiming to redefine men's coaching in a time where a mental health crisis looms large. Our vision is a world in which men are empowered to live with passion and authenticity. Men should not suffer in silence. Seat at the Table is not just a business - it's a vital movement for change at a moment when it's needed most.

Our aim is clear - to redefine coaching for men that strikes the right balance between the stoic "tough guy" persona and authentic emotional expression. Fueled by our conviction that every man has untapped potential for greater joy, deeper and more meaningful relationships, and significant contributions to the world, we envision a life for men that's not just lived but lived with fervor and inspiration.