3 reasons why parenting in modern society is so hard.

In the year 2007, a young boy was living in Arusha city, in a certain famous street called?Sanawari?where his family rented a single room opposite Sanawari?bar, one the hottest bar and grills by then owned by the late sumberere.

His father was a busy man, a tour guide, and spent most of his time in national parks but her mother was a rice seller. So, it is safe to say that, they were in trenches tryna figure it out.

But?Beuuy?was more than just a stubborn child, he was a constant source of frustration and headache to her mother, never happened day passed without a sticky mark on his body, and he makes mistakes every day the sun goes down.

Her mother loved him dearly but she came to realize that, raising him was a constant battle with serious internal pain. every day seems like a new challenge and often cause trouble for his parent.

At?11?years old. He was named Osama by the street because of his ability to act despite fear, assertiveness, lion-hearted and quinine decision.

But He was very keen and intelligent because he realized that, he doesn’t have the skills to build different game toys and other kinds of stuff, so he used to steal them from his friends’ and neighbors’ kids and sell them to other kids from the street at a fair price.

At a young age, Beuuy managed to steal a lot of kids’ stuff, sell them and make passive money while their parent knows nothing.

He knows much about Gems like tanzanite, green sapphire, blue sapphire, etc. His wishes were to own a big gold mine and ride a big motor bicycle when he grew up.

His mother often cried herself to sleep, asking for help, praying to God, and sometimes feels like a failure as a parent.

Sometimes his father would come home from work exhausted, dreading the thought of dealing with?Beuuy’s?antics. He felt alone and helpless in the face of their child’s stubbornness and embarrassment as a man.

I remember one day,?beuuy?and his friends planned to sneak into the Mount Meru hospital dust bin where all used apparatus like gloves, razor blades, syringes, and urinary tubes were thrown.

Their mission was to steal urinary tubes, then come home and sanitize them, after that, they cut them firmly, designed them as a hunting bird catapult, and later on sold them to wealthy kids.

Since he was young,?Beuuy?envisioned self-dependence, power, and forward-thinking as a way to survive the street and enjoy life. But his parent thought they have an idea of?Beuuy’s?life. and this is a real challenge for many parents nowadays.

Beuuy parents, tried everything they could think to discipline him, but nothing seems to work, schooled him, punish him with wire, and big sticks, took him to the pastor, therapist, and the whole clan advise him but still beuuy never get out of troubles

At age of 14?beuuy?enter a new age of trouble, this time he join the street gangs because in Arusha city by then if you don’t belong to any Street gang, I swear you will be bullied and turn into a punching bag for every kid.

Street gangs acted as a symbol of security and a way to assume power over weak ones.

Again, this time?beuuy?dive into gangs and gambling, and crimes. what a deadly combination. It was a time; his parent lives all the things to Almighty and wish to do their best.

Beuuy?started to roll with gangs, smoking shada, chewing gomba, chasing gals, showing up at every club, and sometimes left home and return after 4 days drunk, smokey like a chimney, and tired.

Her mother always cries and talks to God.?Why us?

When?beuuy?is around, just made sure your penny is safe because when he left, I swear! something missing.

Despite his stubbornness,?beuuy?was one of the brightest kids in school. getting high grades effortlessly was not an issue, A school team captain with multiple trophies and a bunch of medals.

I wish you saw him; he was such a good combo but dangerous, maybe you can say smart and stubborn.

His parent never gets tired of him and knew exactly it was a foolish age and peer pressure but they were always determined to do whatever it takes to help him not go astray.

He who is not taught by his mother is taught by the world.

Simply it’s a way of saying that, if you don’t learn good manners, you’ll be forcibly taught the same by this cold harsh world with no mercy.

This time?beuuy?brings more trouble into his family and his life.

Ooh lord!

One evening?beuuy?and his friends chilled alongside the river where they usually met, sipping viroba, sniffing ugoro, and smoking Zaza while planning the next move on how they could get at the top of all gangs and rule the street.

Suddenly a group of gangs invades?beuuy?and his gang, quickly turns into a knife war, blades and stubbing each other as if there is no tomorrow,

OMG!

After 2 minutes 3 three kids were down flooded with blood in such a way you can't even see their faces. It was a 2-minute massacre that take away three souls at the moment.

Lucky?beuuy?he was stubbed with a bicycle spoke on his left shoulder near his heart. He tried his level best to arrive home but after a few steps, he fainted and woke up the next morning with handcuffs tied to the hospital bed. Imagine 14 years old involved with this bullshit.

Around the corner, Jesus is coming

One day Beuuy’s parents decided to take a different approach. Instead of trying to beat him and force him to change. They decided to try to understand why he was so stubborn. they talked to him, listened to him, and tried to see things from his perspective and understand his emotional roller coaster.

Slowly but surely,?beuuy?began to open up and change. He realized that his parent truly cared about him and that he should try to be more understanding and cooler. Beuuy parents were overjoyed to see their son become a more responsible and well-behaved child than they expect.

Why are parents finding it difficult to raise children in this modern society?

• We are not meant to do this alone:

There is one saying that goes “It takes a village to raise a child” I remember when I was younger, it was like the whole community that was part of parenting but today is quite different, a modern society full of single parents, only one or two parents raising the children alone is unusual, and places a whole lot of pressure and ridiculous expectation on the caregivers. This must change.

The issue of a generational gap:

There is a gap between how we were wired to raise our offspring and the environment we found ourselves currently living in. After every 15 years, there is a new generation with a new way of doing and perceiving things. many parents don’t understand this still.

Rapid technological change

It’s funny because parents today are preparing children for a world that we are unsure of what will look like. Some read books, or watch?youtube tutorials but in reality

We don’t know what the effect of current technology will be. Many parents are guessing what will be best for their kids in 10- 20 years.

Limited Exposure

When the world keeps on changing day by day, no lie we have young people dive into parenthood. Some individuals would have a lot of exposure to babies and children before having one of their own. A lot of interaction with sibling nieces and nephews, and observing others breastfeeding would have been part of life and modeled you establish a sense of what raising children looks alike

But it is sad today that the first time someone might hold a baby could be their own.

The take-home message here is, there are a bunch of reasons why so many parents find raising children difficult in this modern world But

You don’t need to try harder to get it right. Everyone doesn’t have it worked out. It’s not your fault.?Parenting is very challenging and you’re doing the best you can. continue to embrace self-compassion, flexibility, Open minded and the right support, parenting will be easier.

So, relax place your hand in your heart, take three deep breaths, and tell yourself you’re doing a great job.

That's it

Thank you so much for reading.

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