3 reasons why I was born to be a speaker!

When I was five years old, it is reported that I rounded up the children at my cousins birthday party, climbed up onto a chair, clapped for attention and declared "Right, lets open the presents now"

I was always a confident and assertive child and as an adult I have thrived in the inevitable role thrust upon me as spokes person or organiser for the various social and professional groups I have belonged to.

It is reported that 75% of the population struggle with 'Glossophoia'~ a fear of public speaking but I can quite honestly say that I am not one of those statistics. Today I want to share with you just three reasons why professional speaking is the perfect role for me.

My personality

You already know that I was an incredibly irritating, sorry I mean, spirited child and, as my Nan would put it 'not backwards at coming forwards' and maybe as part of being a natural extrovert, I do love an audience. When I was teaching, my audience were thirty seven year olds but regardless of whether I am speaking with them or with business professionals I always aspire to delight and inform. I love to give a part of myself away within my speeches and lessons as I truly believe that the richest lives are those full to brimming with human and social connection. I love meeting new people. I thrive in times of change. Yes, I am strange but you should know that by now!

I also work well under pressure so when others may lose their words in the heat of the moment or the glare of a spotlight, I often find myself with more clarity and being able to articulate myself much better (just ask my ex-husband!) I enjoy the timed constraints of proving myself in exam conditions and going into situations knowing that I cant possibly deliver any better than I am about to. Knowing I am giving it all gives me a great sense of satisfaction, although I do seek the validation of a good grade or a round of applause. Don't mistake the presence of confidence for self assurance. They are two different things and while I am most definitely ballsy I am in no way narcissistic or cocky.

My Story

When I was told the news that one of my premature twins had been born with only half of his face developed, my world changed in an instant. Over the course of the past thirteen years I have struggled with mental health, had a suspected stroke, got divorced, changed career paths, become a carer, advocate and voice for my son and forgiven myself for something that was never actually my fault. When she was alive, my Nan (who was also my hero) would tell me that Harry was sent to me for a reason and that one day I would do great things. I thought they were just the words of a biased and loving Grandmother but what I know now is that she was absolutely correct. Harry didn't come to me because I was a special mum, he came to make me one. And I have spent over a year so far, and aim to continue for all of my life, proudly showing him off in charity assemblies and telling anyone that will listen, that a life you may never have expected can still be an incredible one. People take various things away from hearing me speak but I hope, regardless of the context or audience, everyone realises that there is an untapped strength within us all the do and be the very best version of ourselves.

Self worth

So here's the deal. I am not particularly employable now in the traditional workplace. Even the teaching that I loved had to give when Harry's operations and appointments became the priority. So I have three options. One, find a small part time job that suits the hours of 9-2 and will be understanding on the days that I simply cannot work because I am needed at Alder Hey in Liverpool. I cant do this. I am a 'go big or go home' kind of girl. I am taking nothing away from those who provide valuable services in our community but part time, 'switch off when you leave' kind of work just isn't for me. I need a project and a challenge. I want a purpose bigger than myself. Its just who I am. Two, live off the benefit system that will pay a small amount for those who cannot work due to being a full time carer to a loved one. Honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than having the state tell me my worth. Many parents have no choice at all but I do and I absolutely will not be at the mercy of a government system which can change at any time. Three, become self employed and create a life for me and my boys around the needs and demands of our lives. That sounds the most attractive but is by far the biggest challenge.

And so I am here. Teaching two days a week on a casual contract, delivering author workshops in schools, being paid for sponsored content and having some amazing family experiences as part of the blog I write, promoting the book I took nine years to write for the mothers who were lost like I was, and sharing all my lessons; the trials and triumphs of Our Altered Life as part of my speeches. Wanting to reach new audiences. Hoping to encourage others to find the inner strength that we often only tap into in times of hardship and to share the good, bad and ugly side of a life I never would have chosen but now wouldn't change for the world.

I am just a girl, standing in front of an audience, showing that there is power in vulnerability, strength in honesty and happiness after despair. I was born to do this. My Nan knew it years before I did and I live every day to make her proud.