3 reasons I stopped giving a damn what people think
Dean Seddon
Master social selling to build your brand and win clients without selling your soul to social media! ? Social Selling ? Personal Branding ? LinkedIn ? CEO @ MAVERRIK ? DM me ?????? to get started
For years I struggled with what other people thought of me, how I dressed, what I said and what I did were all subjected to the scrutiny of what I thought other people thought. Fast forward to today and I can see how I tortured myself emotionally and sabotaged my future.
I now have removed this from my life and these are my reasons why you should do the same...
You will never please everyone
Whatever you do, someone isn't going to be happy. You cannot please everyone. So don't try. Try to do what is right and do the best you can. Pleasing people leads to marrying the wrong person, choosing the wrong career path and generally being unhappy. Don't hurt people, but at the same time you have make your own way or in a few years time you will resent where you have ended up.
Opinions are subjective
We know this is true. We can be wrong and so can other people. All our opinions are subjective, its nearly impossible to have an impartial view, no matter how hard we try, we bring all our emotions and past experience into every decision we make.
When you care what people think you will compromise on your future and decisions (compromise can have its place but..) I would rather pursue something I believe in and fail than do something to keep people happy.
Lots of people have bucked opinions and won. Don’t ignore advice or opinions but reach a decision for yourself.
Sometimes you need to go against opinion to learn a valuable lesson to make you a better person. Sometimes you go against opinion and change the world.
Opinions can be loaded. Loaded with other people's hopes, dreams and disappointments. Sure take advice but make your own decision.
You will not run from controversy
Despite what we see standing out or being embroiled in difficult thinks, taking risks or going public with something can be controversial. As humans, we inherently seek approval and respect. When we end up in controversy we receive questions and criticism. We want to be accepted but we shouldn't seek acceptance at any cost.
Look at all our notable people from history, the vast majority had to court controversy, go against ‘norms’ to do some incredible things.
Think Galileo, Newton, Jobs, Zuckerberg, Gates… you get my point.
If you are trying to do something difficult, you will have controversy. You have to set aside others opinions, however, tough they are and pursue your goal.
Working on a new venture
6 年Dean. I like the piece and you had me up to point where you list your heroes; Galileo, Newton, Jobs, Zuckerberg and Gates and then you lost me. Galileo. Granted, if you are going up against the Supreme Sacred Congregation of the Roman and Universal Inquisition and are threatened with torture then it's a sensible move to recant. Which he did. They still imprisoned him for the rest of his life. Newton. Utterly brilliant yet possessing a remarkably jealous and vindictive streak and tremendous power due to his positions as Master of the Royal Mint, as well as president of the Royal Society. Hooke, Flamsteed and Leibniz are just three peers he sought to undermine and his famous quote ending "on the shoulders of giants" is likely to refer to Hooke's small stature and Kyphosis rather than reflect Newton's modesty. Jobs. Worth $1m when was 23 in 1978, $10 million when he was 24, and over $100 million when he was 25. Paid $500 a month to the mother of his child who worked as a waitress. Undeniably brilliant and an innovator. But this isn't a hardship story. Zuckerberg. Stole someone else's idea, back-stabbed a co-founder out of the company (and billions) and has built a corporate culture which asserts that the death of innocents is an acceptable by-product of its mission. Gates. Fantastic businessman and remarkable philanthropist. Aside from anti-trust litigation against Microsoft I'm struggling to see his struggle. "Look at all our notable people from history, the vast majority had to court controversy, go against ‘norms’ to do some incredible things." The only person on this list who went against the norm of his time was Galileo. The rest are establishment figures. That said - thank you. The main messaging is great yet I think there are better people to lionize who extol these values.
Digital Director | Driving Digital Strategy and Execution
7 年Powerful piece of writing Dean, wise and truthful. An Enjoyable read
Managing Director, VirtualEyes Media
7 年Superb.
Master social selling to build your brand and win clients without selling your soul to social media! ? Social Selling ? Personal Branding ? LinkedIn ? CEO @ MAVERRIK ? DM me ?????? to get started
7 年Hi Manford, despite our world of social media, selfies and 'perfect' instagram lives, people copycats, crowd followers and insecure. So many people pretend to be someone else for the sake of conformity. I don't believe you should ignore advice or guidance but you have to form your own decisions and decide for yourself.
Poetry Editor at _Light: A Journal of Photography and Poetry_
7 年Here's what I don't get--what alarms me. Ten months ago, all the *Trendsetting Opiners* were saying, "It time for people to get over their self-indulgent know-nothing indifference! Stand up for this Nation ('Comes in two flavors--pick your fave and 'Share' if you agree)!" Now there's a sizeable chunk of *Trendsetters* saying "If 99% of the planet don't care, don't know and probably aren't interested, then thats good for me." What's happened in a year that so many 'great minds' are saying, Tune-out, Turn-off? "If [you] don't care, don't know and probably aren't interested, then that[']s good for me."