3 reasons to celebrate your milestones

Today I want to convince you of the importance of deciding how to celebrate yourself this year, even before you set those 2023 goals. And if you already have - grab your editing pen so you can mark out those milestones to build your confidence, really understand your strengths so you can use them, and really enjoy your life while you are creating it and not just at some imaginary destination point.

1. Recognize your efforts to build confidence

Have you ever thought about how encouraging we are towards children? The baby lifts her head off the mat and we erupt in joy. The toddler almost makes it to the potty and we cheer through the wet wipes. Our enthusiasm is a key ingredient in their success. They smile, glow with pride, and take more happy steps forward in their milestones. But, at some point this enthusiastic cheering of every new milestone or effort begins to wane. We shift from celebrating incremental change to auditing test scores and, at some point, we stop offering it to ourselves and each other all together. We arrive at adulthood measuring our “success” only by whether or not we meet final targets.

Imagine what that would look like translated back to our first example? Baby takes an extra two wobbly steps and, as she falls back onto her diaper we turn blankly back to our laptops and go, “Well. Still can’t walk.” Imagine only waiting until she can go a full kilometre before acknowledging her progress? What effect do you think that would have on her confidence, courage, or self-concept? What does it do to ours? Big goals are made up of many smaller steps that must be mastered on the way to the big win. The big goal is also usually far in the future and it would be a long, miserable road acting like our efforts don’t really count if we withhold recognition until we get “there”.?

We get to create the environment that builds confidence and joy in creating the things we want. We get to recognise each small step because that reinforces the person we need to be to create it and, without the little steps, the big one wouldn’t be possible.?

2. It helps you know your ever-evolving strengths so you can build on them

Do you always easily remember what you’re good at? Not just tasks or talents, but attitudes and skills, like how you’ve learned to talk to yourself in a voice that builds your self-trust?

My wonderful daughter told me about a concept she uses to support her developing a healthy attitude to eating and nutrition, which is something she’s struggled with in the past. Simply put, it’s “Add, don’t restrict”. In dietary terms, it means if you’re still deep in a harmful diet culture, your instinct may be to punish yourself somehow when you eat something “bad”. It sounds like, “I had caramel popcorn, now I need to skip a meal or cut down for the rest of the day.” In goal terms, it’s the unhealthy attempt to push yourself to meet targets by foregoing other important things like family time or sleep!

An “add” mindset flips that on its head. It goes, “Ooh, I’d love some caramel popcorn right now. What can I add to make that a meal so I’m getting some nutrients in with my yum?” In goal terms? It’s using the strengths and talents you have to build something you think you need into another task, like, “I didn’t get to my facilitation plan today, but I know I’m great at posting insights on my page - I could use the next carousel to unpack the steps for the objective this training session is about and then I have my outline right there!” But you may not know what those strengths are for you to leverage unless you build the habit of noticing them through celebration.

3. Celebrating makes the journey fun!

One of my favorite coaches told a story about a hiking trip she went on. A few miles in, the guide asked everyone to stop and look back. He told her, “Just take in the view! So many people get to the place they’re going and the only thing they’ve seen along their way is their own boots because they were concentrating on their footing.” I. Loved. That.

Some of the steps you’ll take towards your goal are difficult and you’re changing as you go. It may not feel as amazing when you arrive as you anticipated it would and, of course, you may already have a new goal in mind, because now you’re the person who has/does the thing you created. Stopping to take in the view by celebrating at intervals can make the journey so much happier and keep you noticing the ways you’re growing, which may not always be the ones you predicted at the start. A simple example for me: Somewhere over the course of the last year I became a person who enjoyed writing articles for LinkedIn or other platforms. I forgot to celebrate as I went. Pretty soon, I only noticed “missteps”, like missing a post (like I did last week). Thankfully, I get to fix that!

Why don’t we celebrate?

There are so many reasons we may skip the celebration! The ones I hear (or do) most often are:

• But I’m not there yet. If I celebrate small, mediocre stuff, I’ll lose my drive to keep pushing for the big stuff - it’ll get less meaningful.
• I don’t have the money to spend on constant celebrations - it’s impractical.
• What do I even celebrate?
• I don’t have anybody to celebrate with!
• I failed! I didn’t even achieve the main thing!

Well, friends, we’ve already dispelled some of those. Celebrating the steps you take helps you build the awareness of the ways you’re changing and the person you’re becoming so your feeling about your own abilities and your joy in the tough spots is something that just gets clearer and more courageous. It’s not about slowing you down, it puts the energy into your stride and makes you more generous with your recognition of yourself and others, and that flows into all your relationships, including your leadership.

As for the what: you get to celebrate everything you learn and every change you make that empowers you. And you get those even when you don’t achieve the main thing. Do you raise your hand (and your voice) more in meetings? That’s huge! You don’t need to wait until you get that promotion before you celebrate.

You also don’t need to spend a cent or on your celebration or gather a crowd to make it happen. Personal acknowledgement or even messaging a friend/family member who’s willing to virtually high-five you even when they don’t know what in the world you’re talking about is all you need. It’s all about what feels good to you.

Let’s celebrate you!

Here are a few things I know for sure you can celebrate right now:

• You’re here! You made it through a couple of objectively tough years and you’re still standing.?
• You learned at least one (but probably a lot more) new skills that helped you respond to the challenges you faced.
• You’re consuming content designed to help you be and do the things you want, and that means:
• You have a vision for your future that recognises (even if you don’t always recognize it out loud) that you’re pretty awesome.
• You are powerful and you can do hard things. You do them every day.

If you want help celebrating before you dive into 2023 with gusto, I would love to talk to you! Contact me for a discovery call and let’s celebrate the year you’ve left behind and build on it for the glorious stuff you’re about to create for yourself.

Go ahead and share some of the things you’ve accomplished, or your favorite ways to celebrate. I’d love to cheer you on, too!