3 Questions that Spark Meaningful Thanksgiving Conversation

There’s a wide range of emotions that typically occur during the holiday season. They can range from excitement and bliss to angst and stress. Oftentimes at family gatherings, there’s a sense of obligation and maybe even a pinch of “this again?” depending on the personalities that surround the dinner table. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, it’s important to note the things we have the power to control and those we do not.

For example, we can control wearing stretchy pants to ensure maximum bloating comfort but we cannot control whether or not there’s a blizzard. More personally, we can’t control Uncle Frank’s offensive political comments, but we can control how we respond to him and direct the conversation back into a space that feels good. Whenever we take action on the things we can control, it pulls us back into excitement and away from angst.

As humans, we crave connection, especially with our loved ones. So why don’t we own the fact that we can ignite more purposeful conversations and therefore connection around the dinner table? More directly, we can control some of the topics of conversation. If you show up ready and willing to set the tone by asking the type of questions that can lead to reflection and storytelling, you’ve taken a big step in the direction of connection!

Consider asking any or all of these three questions to spark more meaningful conversation around your Thanksgiving dinner table next week.

1. What are you grateful for? Yes, I know this is a standard for Thanksgiving, but the care in people’s responses make a huge difference. It could be shallow, with one-word answers like, “baseball” or “weekends.” OR you could set the tone by kicking things off with describing what you’re grateful for, explaining why and sharing a story associated with it. If you start it off, others will follow your lead.

2. What is your love language? Have your family and friends take the quick and free online 5 Love Languages Quiz! There’s even a version for kids to take. Your love language profile will explain your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect to others. Then once everyone knows their results discuss them with one another. I’ve done this with my inlaws and it was awesome to learn about them in this way and then do something with that knowledge in the future.

3. When were you brave this year and how did it turn out? Let’s get inspired, people! Being brave is directly related to having courage. Sharing these types of stories humanizes all of us through empathy. This is permission to brag about an emotional experience where someone chose to take the hard route. Whether or not they got the result they were looking for isn’t nearly as important as encouraging people to celebrate vulnerability. Given that there’s typically a range of guests experiencing different stages of life, it’ll add some amazing perspective and shared an enthusiasm for their act of bravery. I bet you’ll even get some stories you weren’t expecting!

Based on past experiences, and the thoughts of “they wouldn’t go for that” or “we don’t need that kind of thing” might populate in your head. The season is officially upon us and we need to decide what types of experiences we want to have throughout the next two months. And while many may seem obligatory, your mindset and the way you show up is always a choice! So let’s ask some questions that solicit deeper conversations and ignite stronger bonds between us.