3 questions to help you avoid making the same mistakes

I made a mistake this week.

Well, let’s be clear, I regularly make mistakes.

But this week, I made one of those mistakes that caused additional work for others, left me frustrated with myself, and led to some reflection. The timing was kind of perfect because someone on our leadership team had just shared a Harvard Business Review article about the value of conducting high quality after action reviews.?

The article combined with my own stumbling got me thinking about the best questions to ask in order to bounce back from a mistake, internalize the learning, and ultimately avoid repeating history.?

So, here we are - you get to join me as I unpack the three questions I used this week to help me avoid similar mistakes in the future.

I love when things come in three’s. They’re more memorable that way. I mean, how many of these sound familiar?

• “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”
• “Friends, Romans, Countrymen”
• “Blood, sweat, and tears”
• “Mind, body, spirit”
• “Stop, Look, and Listen”
• “Sex, Lies, and Videotape”
• “I came, I saw, I conquered”
• Harry, Ron, and Hermione ??

So, it was convenient when I came across this framework of questions to prompt critical reflection.

1. What?
2. So what?
3. Now what?

We’ll break down the questions below but as you answer these questions, I’ve found that writing down your responses makes a huge difference. I’ve been keeping journals and using them for intentional reflection for over 15 years and writing things down is an important part of my own reflection process.?

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What?

First, we’ve got to establish the facts. No judgement here—this isn’t about how good or bad something was—just the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Act like a journalist and use reporter questions to help you get the facts documented.?

• Who?
• What?
• When?
• Where?

I even write down other things taking place in my life at the same time that could have somehow impacted my actions at the time. You’re trying to build out the most complete story possible based on the facts available.?

This is also a great exercise in self awareness. Sometimes when I do this, I end up writing down details that I would not have likely considered if I had rushed into a snap judgement on the situation.?

As I put down all of the facts, I realized that while I was engaged in a critical project, I was task switching like crazy. I had several people drop by my office for conversations that were each over 15 minutes. I had to leave the task incomplete three separate times as I left my office to attend meetings. I left once to go to the bathroom and once to grab some water. Task switching is not an ideal way to engage in important work.?

By spending a few extra minutes digging into the facts, I uncovered the task switching—something I may not have considered if I had just tried to speed through my reflection.

So what?

This is the step that most people typically start with when they reflect. “So what?” is all about adding all of the feels from you and your best guesses at the emotions coming from anyone else involved. It’s also the phase where you start deconstructing the impact of the action.?

This will often mean placing yourself in someone else’s shoes for a few moments as you consider how your action impacted others.

One sentence stem I’ve used before is, “as a result……” This makes it a little easier to visualize what you’re trying to get to.?

“I did X, and as a result, I had to do Y,” or “I did X, and as a result, I felt Y.”

This is the place to begin trying to make meaning of everything. You’ve got most of the facts on the table so you can now begin processing them and layering on emotions and impact.

Now what?

There’s a few layers to this question. First, you need to figure out damage control. What do you need to do to repair things? In my case, this began with a sincere apology and willingness to own the mistake. It also meant trying to correct any possible misinformation that might have spread.?

Once you’ve fixed the collateral damage, you’re ready to think about the future.?

One of the questions our superintendent asks when he’s coaching people in this phase of the process is, “how can you adjust the current system or create a new system to help prevent this from happening again in the future?”

This is the perfect way to approach the future. It’s not enough to say, “I’ll just make sure I don’t do this again.”

Several years ago I went through this process with him and the only change we made was that I would start every editing project by looking at a notecard that simply said, “you are not a mailbox.” The point was that I’m not simply there to help pass messages between people. I needed to take a more active role in the process. That one simple change at the start of the process for each project has saved us time and frustration for years.

How about you? Do you have a process you use when something goes wrong to keep yourself accountable and ensure you don’t end up making the same mistakes again?