3 Proven Ways To Master The Art Of Happiness Right Now (Even If You Feel Like There’s No Hope)

As I sat on the edge of the bed, my head buried deeply in my tear-filled hands.

All I could hear was the voice I’ve heard many times before, echoing the same thing over and over again, “Paris! Paris! Wake up! Please wake up! You have to wake up man, you just have to! Wake up from this nightmare.”

This was when young people were searching for where they belonged., where they fit in in school. Our minds and bodies were experiencing changes, not to mention our hormones were roaring like wildfires.

I was a late bloomer growing up.

Not nearly as fast or strong as everyone else. Always one of the smallest kids in the class. And I had absolutely no facial hair (still none till this day).

I remember my first day of high school like it was yesterday.

I was a smooth four feet and eleven inches tall. Which earned me the nicknames: 2FootWonder and Lil’ P.

I was full of excitement the first day but I still felt like I didn’t belong. Because all I ever wanted was to be as strong and athletic as my peers.

I used to watch my father’s highlight tapes, dreaming of playing football and being as good as he was. Unfortunately, those dreams never came true.

All the people I hung around had a sport they were good at playing. Me, on the other hand, below average, keeping the benches nice and warm for my teammates. I might as well have turned in my stain and sweat deprived uniforms and become the towel boy.

This took a heavy toll on my happiness.

On the outside I was smiling but deep down I was in pain like a newly sprained ankle. I felt like I didn’t belong. It was a feeling deep down inside that made me wish I had never been born. The type of pain I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to fit in. I wished I were as good at basketball or football as everyone else. It got to the point where all the days ran into each other.

Before I knew it, I was a sophomore in high school. I moved from a small city, Alliance, Ohio to Solon, Ohio, a suburb of Cleveland.

This was a culture shock because the kids dressed differently.

They talked differently. They were a lot more athletic than the kids I grew up with in Alliance.

Witnessing these kids on steriods who were more athletic than the ones from my previous school confirmed sports weren’t for me. I had absolutely no chance. Sadly, this didn’t help with my inner happiness in the slightest.

Days seemed to drag and this feeling just wouldn’t go away. Still lingering like thick fog in the night. I couldn’t seem to shake it. I didn’t have a clue what to do. On the outside I’m making everybody laugh but internally, I’m still not happy.

Life still didn’t have much meaning then.

I felt empty and confused. I wasn’t sure where to run. Fighting a gruesome battle with myself day in and day out. I didn’t know how to deal with these feelings so I started to lash out.

I was in detention almost every week. My grades started to slip because I was getting suspended 5–10 days at a time. I guess that was my way of saying, “Somebody please save me!”.

But, NOBODY ever came.

Fast forward four years, I was a freshman in college, and I had a realization through a dream. Nobody was ever going to come to my rescue. Nobody was coming to save me. I had to save myself.

I had to be my own superhero.

Then, I stumbled across something that would change my perspective forever, something that I despised in high school: books.

Self-help books to be exact.

I became so obsessed with reading them. Because I was obsessed with improving myself. I was intentional about climbing out of the dark place I was in.

I spent every bit of money I had to build my library. One time my dad gave me his credit card, I went online and bought 6 self-help books. Surprisingly, he wasn’t upset. But how could he be?

That journey of self-discovery took me down a giant rabbit hole.

I had it set in my mind I was going to be genuinely happy no matter what.

I learned happiness starts with self-love. The more you love yourself, the happy you are. I started with positive affirmations. I improved my self-talk. I stopped comparing myself to others. I stopped caring what others thought of me.

I started focusing on myself and the things in my control: my mind and my heart.

So, I had to be the author writing my own story about what I was telling my heart and mind.

This is the reason I spend thousands of dollars on books a year.

It has developed a lifelong passion for reading, learning and self improvement.

If you’re not growing then you are decaying.

I could be down to the last $10 to my name and I will spend every cent of it on a book that aids in my personal growth. Yes, you read that right, books are more important than the basic necessities of life.

Now, I’ve grown to the point where my heart is healed and full of so much love.

My mind is clear. I don’t doubt myself anymore. I’m focused. I’m confident. I don’t look to others for validation. And I’m happier and at peace with where I am in life.

I shared that story with you because I know it’s people out there just like me. And it’s okay, we’re only human. But you don’t have to feel this way anymore.

You can climb out just as I did.

All you have to do is make a choice right now, take that first step towards mastering happiness and self-love.

Here’s 3 ways you can master the art of happiness even if you feel like there’s no hope:

1. Win the battle of self-talk

• Challenge the negative narratives you tell yourself.
• Use a journal and write them down when they come to mind. For example: “I feel like a nobody. I’m 30 years old with nothing to show for it.”
• Now, in your journal, reword your statement into something positive: “I am somebody! At 30 years old, I’ve managed to get a degree and start a beautiful family.”
• What you are doing here is listing the things you have achieved and telling yourself you are important. Because you are somebody.

2. Express gratitude

• Answer this question in a journal: What do you love most about yourself and why?
• If you can’t think of any answers, ask the people who know you best: your friends or family.
• Next, create statements like the following: “I love how selfless I am towards others because it warms my heart to know I did a good deed. I’m grateful to be able to experience this feeling.”
• Recite these to yourself daily, both out loud and in your head. In the morning and right before you go to bed.
• These statements suppress your limiting beliefs and the negative things you tell yourself.

3. Learn to say NO

• Stay away from things and/or people that don’t serve you.
• Don’t let anything drain you or compromise your well-being.
• If you have to avoid an event because it’s somebody there who talks down on you, skip it!

Make yourself a priority or NO ONE else will!