The 3 Prerequisites to Developing Authenticity as a Leader

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be an “authentic” leader. Most people relate to the concept of “authenticity at work” when they say “I feel like I can be myself”.?

But what makes it possible to be authentic? (And by that, I mean for the individual to actively develop authenticity, and assuming psychological safety in the environment is already there)

So I did my usual thing of going down the rabbit hole of what it takes to be “Authentic”, and stumbled upon this first tidbit:

As Steven Kotler, peak performance expert says: “Vulnerability is the key to authenticity and courage. It’s the willingness to show up and let ourselves be truly seen.”

There’s a lot that’s being said in that one line - but the core of it is around “vulnerability”.

To have Authenticity, you need…Vulnerability.

So, what exactly is vulnerability?

Maybe you know what it feels like. The fear of being exposed. The nervousness around sharing what’s on your mind. The feeling of a lack of protection.?

But what is it, exactly?

I turned to books by Brene Brown, a renowned researcher and author on the topic of vulnerability, courage, and bravery. I hadn’t read her books before so this was a good chance to crack one open and see what she has to say.?

“Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness. To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living.”

There are a couple of things I want to point out here:?

On one hand, she is connecting vulnerability to feelings and emotions. So there’s a need to be open to exploring how you feel and getting clear on that (and I’ll touch on that in the next prerequisite).

At the same time, she is also saying that vulnerability is what creates meaningful experiences.?

One thing I hear from professionals all the time is, “I want to do something meaningful”.?

Most people define “meaningful” as a “contribution to society”. Something where they see their efforts truly helping others, and quite possibly through creating something that will leave a legacy.?

So if you’re saying to yourself that you want to have more meaning in your life, perhaps the place you can start is to ask yourself about vulnerability - what feels vulnerable for you to do, but would make all the difference if it led to true connection and impact?

Personally, I define vulnerability as simply: your truth.?

To relate this to the sento (public bath house), when we undress to experience purification, we are simply revealing our truth - what is already there.?

If you are vulnerable with others and share your thoughts, your creativity, your talents - you are simply sharing what is and what always has been there within you.?

The first philosophy of The Sento Mindset is #dropthetowel. Where do you need to “drop the towel” (be more vulnerable) in your life? You’re not doing it to expose yourself to others, but to confront yourself.?

But to have Vulnerability, you need…Awareness.

Touching on what Brene Brown said earlier, vulnerability is related to an understanding of your emotions.?

In order to understand your emotions, you need to have awareness of them.

There are so many things we do to suppress our emotions - to meet up to the expectations of people around us, to fit in, to do what we think needs to be done. So when you question your emotions, you may not really understand them at first, and it could take some time.?

A good place to start is to build awareness of your emotions by setting an intention each day to note down how you’re feeling and how your feelings change over the course of the day. This is a technique that builds self-awareness without the need to act upon the information you are taking down.

Here are a couple of more quotes I love on this:

"Awareness means to be open to your own being without barriers. Vulnerability requires that openness." Osho

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." Carl Jung

But to have awareness, you need…Observation.?

Okay, so now that you’ve taken down some notes about how you feel and have built awareness, we need to make sense of this information. What is it telling you?

To do this requires observation. You need space to sit down and take a look at all of the information and question what - if anything - there is to learn about yourself.

For example, let’s say you get irritated every time you notice an email from a colleague pop up in your inbox, and you spend time resisting looking at it as you think of a string of negative thoughts, until you muster up the courage to take a look and reply.?

What does that mean for you? Is there something left unsaid? Is there any opportunity to be vulnerable? What can be done from your end to improve the relationship?

Putting it all together

Remember: the whole point of all of this - of creating space for observation, self-awareness, and vulnerability - is so that you can feel like yourself at work and make meaningful connections. This is what it means to be authentic.?

The process of observation is something you can do on your own where you simply set aside some time to allow yourself to relax and think.?

But it is also helpful to talk to someone to as a sounding board to help you explore the meaning behind what’s coming up for you, so you can gain clarity on what actions you want to take to build more alignment meaning in your work.?

If you want me to help you talk through it, here is the link to schedule a conversation: https://calendly.com/katheryn-katheryngronauer/exploratory-call ?

#authenticleadership #authenticleader #executivecoaching #leadershipcoaching #professionaldevelopment #authenticity