3 Pitfalls of Upleveling with a Systems-First Approach

A few years ago, I was asked to lead a focus group for an organization that was starting to show signs of cracking.?

From the outset, it was clear to me that the organizational structure had been designed to be leader-centric. The leader was a superstar, loved by everyone who heard him speak and admired for his charm, charisma, and incredible ability to wow a crowd. Few questioned his decisions, and he had surrounded himself with people who would encourage his ideas rather than push against.?So as I designed my focus group questions, I knew that I would need to leave all of my my own bias at the door.

When the focus group session actually started, I went into it wanting to be proven wrong. I wanted to emerge with new insights, wanted to make sure I didn't show up with leading questions that would merely confirm my own ways of thinking.

But when a VP-level team member decided to sit in on the session with me, I knew that the focus group was doomed to disaster. (Focus Group 101: Leaders can’t sit in on focus groups because they introduce a power dimension that prohibits honest feedback.)?

Very quickly into the session, the participants began to outline the effects of the leader-centric structure, saying things like, “We’re only here because he’s the leader," and "We wouldn’t support the organization if he ever decides to leave.”?

For me, these responses were enlightening. And rather than jumping into a full-on "I told you so" moment, I kept my commitment to avoiding bias close at hand, and I wanted to dig deeper, ask WHY, and get to the crux of the issue.

But instead, I watched in horror as the VP quickly jumped into the conversation.

He clearly sensed where the conversation was leading, and rather than allow the session to help challenge his own perceptions on the culture, he worked double time to covertly reshape the session into a praise and adoration fest.

When the focus group was finally finished, I was surprised to discover that the transcripts didn't hide the truth. It was still clear that the organization's leader-centric structure was creating some potentially dangerous impacts. The VP saw those themes, too, and responded by never delivering them to the board.?

A few years later, that same organization launched a super secret mission and values-finding campaign. They left board members out of the experience, didn’t tell their key members about the experience, and never sought input from the people who actually make up the organization. After announcing the results of the campaign to their audience, they received questions and pushback -- and as a result of that pushback, they quietly scrapped their results and went back to square one.

A year or two later, the organization faced a crisis in leadership and character, and while I’m not certain where the overall health of the organization is today, what I can say is this: It’s hard to build a healthy culture when you refuse to know what you don’t know.?

Since 2016, I’ve helped leaders and business owners uncover the key storylines they need so they can uplevel their leadership and build their cultures.?

Sometimes, those leaders and business owners are looking for the right messaging for their audience. Sometimes, they want to know what initiatives they need to pursue. Other times, they just want to know if they are chasing the right dream (and how to bring it all to life).?

Our work together always includes tuning into the two dominant storylines that are key to any level of success (more on that below), and as I’ve observed leaders and business owners do the work it takes to build strong cultures and sustainable businesses, here are 3 common pitfalls I’ve noticed when it comes to chasing growth and success:?

1. It’s hard to show up as a leader when you tune in to the wrong voices.

Feedback from others is a critical skill worth developing, but it’s important to know WHO to get feedback from and WHEN to seek it out.?

I’ve frequently worked alongside leaders and business owners who place a high premium on the input they receive from others. They want to be humble, curious, and adaptable (all great qualities), but when they fail to gather that input from the right voices, they find themselves locked inside a feedback loop – unable to grow, expand, or influence simply because their head is on a constant swivel of well-meaning advice.?

It’s important to seek input from people who understand the mission of your business, who align with your values, and who are aware of the needs of your audience. It’s also important to differentiate between ideas and advice.?

Ideas = Creative thoughts that can spark intentional action?

Advice = Intentional thoughts that can spark creative action?

When seeking advice that you’re planning to use for creative action, here are 4 filters to keep in mind:?

• Does this person have my best interest at stake??
• Does this person understand the complexities of my situation??
• Does this person have the knowledge, experience, and wisdom to offer proper guidance??
• Is this person a listener or a talker? (Hint: Gather feedback from someone who is going to listen at least 2x more than they talk.)?

2. It’s hard to show up as a leader when you target the wrong areas.

When things aren’t going as planned, it can be tempting to pull a knee-jerk reaction and look for a coach or mentor or program that will bail you out of your troubles. But because nearly every coach, every mentor, and every program has been designed to approach your situation with a system-mindset (meaning, “I’ve created this system to help you solve your problem"), it can be easy to invest in big promises that wind up yielding small results.?

• Coach A tells you that if you just work on your mindset, your revenue will finally increase.
• Mentor B tells you that the secret to success lies in creating a system that works (and they’re ready to show you THEIR system).???
• Program C tells you that building the right team and the right culture comes from learning how to run better meetings and how to get buy-in from your team.?

While each of these approaches can deliver powerful value, we’ve been tricked into treating them as the engine that drives your train, the quick pill that will deliver certain success if swallowed every single day. In essence, these approaches are subscriptive rather than prescriptive, showing up like a doctor who diagnoses your chronic illness before ever asking a single question regarding who you are or how you feel.??

I’ve found (and firmly believe) that the approach that needs to be taught is also the approach that is rarely promoted –? simply because it requires an inside, out approach: People first, systems last.?

Perhaps this type of approach is often avoided because it signals hard work, humble awareness, startling curiosity, and a willingness to be surprised by what you don’t know.

What I do know for certain is this: A people first approach is necessary because of this one undeniable reality: Leadership cannot be mass produced.

There are no prototypes, no one-size-fits-all suit. There’s merely observing the types of leaders we long to emulate and then doing the work to understand how who we are intersects with that admiration.?

With my own clients, my Two Story Framework lays the groundwork for this people first, systems last approach by uncovering the two dominant storylines in every business: The Inside Story and The Outside Story.?

The Inside Story is the piece of our leadership that is driven by our own self perceptions. It’s the arm of leadership that influences how we see ourselves and how we step into our world. It’s our lived experiences, our mental stories, our values, our insecurities, our confidences – all the pieces that make up the inner workings of who we are. We have to understand the through lines of our identity before we can truly know how those collide with the world around us.?

The Outside Story is the piece of our leadership that is driven by others. It’s the arm of leadership that influences how others step into our world and how we step into theirs. It’s the lived experiences of our team, their mental states, their values, their insecurities, their confidences – all the pieces that make up THEIR inner workings and shape the stories they tell and believe about us as leaders. When we don’t tune in to the Outside Stories of our team and our audience, we build ideological castles on the foundation of our own assumptions, our own biases, our own ambitions.

And history has long told the story of what happens when we follow such a path.?

3. It’s hard to show up as a leader when you fall victim to your own self-fulfilling prophecies.?

A few weeks ago, I told a friend of mine that because I’m an Enneagram 4 and a Myers Briggs INFJ, I’ve come to learn that if I want to get in my head, I have to be willing to get out of my head.?

I’m a professional at self-awareness. I am constantly digging deep, constantly asking myself hard questions, and constantly pushing myself to expand my inner and outer worlds.?

And this type of awareness – while a tremendous asset for my clients – can often prove to be a detriment to my own well being (if I’m not careful).?

I can easily convince myself that my own assumptions about myself and my world are true, and I can quickly find the evidence needed to support those assumptions.?

As an antidote to my own internal wiring, then, I need to tune in to the voices of those who love and care for me the most. And when they paint a different version of reality for me, I need to tune in to their perspective and believe that the way I’m seeing myself in the moment might be distorted and colored not by truth but by fear and insecurity.?

This is why story always has to come first.

I’ve found that while many, many pathways exist for growth and development, one of the biggest predictors of success can be found in our level of willingness to tune into the stories that are being told both IN and AROUND us.

Story is the central tool we've got to build culture and preserve culture. So when we try to fast-track growth with “proven” systems and strategies, the reality is that we’re choosing to build the legacy of our leadership on foundations that do not belong to us and on stories and systems that weren’t ever created to support our unique community.?

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