3 Patterns You Can Use to Overcome Almost Any Objection

Have you ever wondered why sometimes you are able to persuade someone and other times not? How certain people is always able to have the last word?

The answer lies in how language is used. You speak thousands of words per day, but are you aware of how those words can affect you and the people around you?

Words can be used to move someone’s focus away from something, or to reframe a situation so that he or she feels different about it. If you have ever watched the Netflix series Suits you probably like how these young, charismatic lawayers use words to win almost any argument.

But how do they do that and can it be learned? Yes, it can be learned! In this article, I am going to share three simple patterns that you can use to win arguments.

Pattern number 1: POSITIVE INTENTION 

§ Objection: I’m afraid I just won’t make it.

§ You: I see. I understand  that you want to excel at what you do and look good. So, tell me what do you need to get where you want?

Asking “Why are you afraid?” (which is the obvious question) would have driven the conversation towards unhelpful feelings that person is having. Saying something like, “Yes, of course you can make it!” which would have possibly pushed the person to take a step out of his/her reaction. But it’s more powerful to  switch focus and elicit the positive intention behind the fear. Then ask a question that could support the person to move towards what he or she actually wants.

Pattern number 2: TEMPORAL REFRAMING 

§ Objection: I am too old to to do this stuff!

§ You: If you say so, you must have good reasons. I just want to remind you that you said the same thing five years ago just before you ran for seven hours and finished first. Why can’t this time be like that time? Don’t lock yourself in numbers…

In this case, we changed the temporal frame of the objection. By doing this, we give the person a different perspective.

Pattern number 3: HIGHER HIERARCHY   

§ Objection: We don’t have time for this now!

§ You: Understood. I know it’s a very busy period, however time is not the problem here. The real issue is that we lack of commitment and fairness and this what always used to set us apart, isn’t it?

Here we switch the focus towards values that are higher than the objection and thus trigger a kind of emotional guilt in the other person. You are reminding him or her that there is a higher purpose at stake.

Try these patterns next time you meet an objection. Just remember to keep it ethical and make sure both parties win.

To master your communications and stand out from the crowd requires training and practice.

If you’d like to learn more about how to communicate consciously so you can be more powerful in your dealings with others, please contact me.