3 Myths That Ruin Meetings and Why Respect is the Key

Most people agree that meetings are unavoidable and a necessary part of business. According to a pre-COVID 2019 study by Bain & Company, organizations spend about 15% of their time in meetings. The average mid-level manager spends 35% of their time in meetings.

Once COVID drove us home and we were no longer able to have informal chats in the hallway or over lunch, the amount of time each of us spent in meetings jumped significantly.

Here’s where it really gets frustrating: most people consider meetings to be unproductive. An astounding 37% of meetings are considered to be of little or no value to the organization.

Why? Well, it’s partly due to the pervasive perniciousness of three common myths about meetings. Chances are, you heard about these myths and either think their true, or think their nonsense but you lack the authority to do anything about them.

Our goal is to debunk these myths once and for all so you can keep meetings focused, respectful, on track and productive all at the same time.

Myth #1) Structure spoils spontaneity.

I once attended a two-day long disaster, er…meeting, that easily cost the organizers over $40,000. Thirty people spent the first half day agreeing on and then pinning down the issues they wanted to focus on. They then spent the next 14 hours going down rabbit holes with each other, arguing over insolvable problems and being decisive about very little. When I asked the manager who called the meeting, "Where's the agenda?" the reply was, "I didn't want to spoil the spontaneity by imposing a structure."

Reality: If spontaneity were a universally sound business practice, we would build buildings without blueprints. Of course, no smart business leader works without a plan.

The Fix: Set an overall Purpose and a specific Goal, and then develop an agenda in advance that will drive you directly toward them while you’re in the meeting. Ideally, this agenda should be so clear, complete, and specific that anyone could use it to facilitate the meeting to accomplish the goal and fulfill the purpose.

Myth #2: Since it's my meeting I should do all the talking.

Some meetings are run like a medieval court. The chairperson sits on a verbal throne while the subjects sit in respectful silence. The big talker justifies this by thinking: I’m the lead here and if the other people in the meeting knew half as much as I do, they'd be leading the meeting themselves.

Reality: If you're the only one talking, you're working too hard. In addition, you need to be aware that most people protect themselves from extended monologues by sending their brain off on a holiday. Point is, no one is paying attention to you if you’re doing all, or most of the talking: they're busy daydreaming, doodling, or dreaming.

The Fix: provide relevant information, background, and data in an advance “read-ahead” in a memo, slideshow or email with attachments. Then create an agenda that tests comprehension, leverages that information, and focuses the group on participant-driven and group-oriented activities and discussion – always driving toward the meeting goal and fulfilling the purpose.

Myth #3: Meetings are free.

Unless they’re big, expensive, offsite affairs, most meetings are paid for with soft money. That is, money that has already been spent on salaries. In addition, no purchase request is necessary. No budget needs to be approved. All someone has to do is call a meeting and Bob’s your uncle.

Reality: Meetings are very expensive. They use up people's time, and time – as we all know – is money. When people hold unproductive, undisciplined, and gabfest kinds of meetings, they waste the most important resource in a business - the time people should be spending on the tasks, systems and processes that make the organization successful.

The Fix: Design meetings to support the mission, vision, and strategy of your organization. If your company is all about making a profit, make sure the meeting focuses on how we’re going to do that through the efforts, roles, and agreements of the group in the room. After all, a meeting is a business activity, not a company picnic.

Gregg Ward is the Executive Director of The Center for Respectful Leadership who is on a mission to support leadership and organizational transformation through respect.