The 3 musketeers: The Past, The Present & The Future [PART 1]

The 3 musketeers: The Past, The Present & The Future

Wise man: You seem to be worried?

Seeker: Yea, I am worried as I need to do a presentation in front of an audience, and I have miserably failed in the past.

Wise man: Ah I see, so you are worried about current presentation as an exception and you will be fine for future discourses?

Seeker: NO ! I am terrified of public speaking, especially a large group of people and not only now but even in future I never want to do this.

Wise man: That is interesting. Tell me more about your past which didn’t turn out as good as you would have liked. How do you say you have failed every time in all your presentations in the past?

Seeker: I have led 15 sessions so far

Wise man: And you have failed 15 times? And yet people kept on attending your presentations?

Seeker:?Not all the time but I have failed in many.

Wise man: I get it! So not all sessions failed? Generally, how many people attend your sessions?

Seeker: About 50.

Wise man: and what parameters did you consider to assess the failure of your sessions

Seeker: People responses & feedback

Wise man: so in all 15 sessions you reached out to 50 people and they have said they didn’t like the session, am I correct?

Seeker: Not really, but I spoke to one person in the last session and felt there were feedback on the materials, pace, voice etc.

Wise man: And did you do the same for past sessions as well.

Seeker: yea ! kind of.

Wise man: thus, your surmise was that the session was a failure, correct??You realise that you have played your part and not getting the desired results.

Seeker: Yes ! (very firmly)

Wise man: Just step back and think for a while. You didn’t receive any positive feedback ever?

Seeker: Hmmm, in fact, I used to receive a lot of appreciation which is what kept me going.

Wise man: So, here we go! there were instances of commendation & appreciation, correct?

Seeker: Yes!

Wise man: So, not all the time you have failed. Several people in multiple occasions have given positive reviews of your skills which you choose to overlook? Do you realise your fear is merely based on limited facts and not the mass opinion of the people?

Seeker: cannot deny the possibility

Wise man: So in the last session, you received a feedback but you perceived it in a particular way. Hence you felt you have been judged very harshly while they meant very well for you. Isn’t it? If possible, may you recollect what was running in your mind?

Seeker: I don’t recollect all but now that I reflect, I was listening more inside my head than listen to what people were saying.

Wise man: If you aren’t willing to see others’ perspective then you are going nowhere. So let’s reflect on what was noted by audience and what are the options & resources you have before tomorrow’s presentation.

Seeker: I can quickly re-look at the content, reduce the length and create more summarised view, I can practice against a mirror or time my delivery speech, record my voice & rehearse.?I also have resources to do so.

Wise man: let’s do that before your session and let’s talk post session.

Post session:

?Seeker: Contrary to my fear, the session went alright. I noticed my delivery this time was more confident and charming. Do you know the reason why?

Wise man: The life is not as much of an arduous journey as we make it. Life is full of learning at every step. People subconsciously get attached to their feelings like fear, insecurities and often lose the objectivity. I have learned most of my lessons by appreciating perspective offered by others. We tend to repeatedly draw conclusions from the past with extremely limited facts and data points. This process allows our past to influence our present, instead of living the present to its full potential. It sometimes can be worse when it starts influencing the future as well. This is just one walk of life, but there are several other such instances of life where we are letting our “The Past” heavily laying upon us.

Seeker: aha ! so you are saying, this involuntarily affects our future as well? But how?

Wise man: Of course, it does! Let’s imagine, if you have a situation in future, then mind (amygdala in your brain?– in simple terms a repository of emotional memory) automatically digs into the past and recalls past emotions. This way you are imagining a future situation in your present and start feeling anxious because of what happened in the past. Slowly, it spirals into an infinite what-if loops and create a cobweb of situations which do not even exist. Thereby, invoking varied responses from mind & body and at last, start affecting the way you think or act in the present.

Seeker: I never thought like that. So, is this the reason I am constantly worried about future?

Wise man: Well, for now, reflect on how you were led to believe that you aren’t good at public speaking, creating fear for today’s presentation (Present) and decided to never do it (Future) based on……. “your past”.

Seeker: Hmmmm !

Wise man: Live “The Present”.?Let’s explore worrying about future in “The Future” session ??. Stay tuned!

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