The 3 most common ‘people-pleasing’ behaviors at work—and how to stop them

This is a snippet from the weekly CNBC Make It Work newsletter, written by Megan Sauer.

Putting others before yourself seems noble, but people-pleasing often comes with toxic pitfalls, especially at work.?

If you feel like you’re never able to say “no,” or you’ll risk your status in the office, you could be on the path to emotional burnout, says Hailey Magee, author of self-help book, “Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power.”

She says the trait, which typically looks like “putting others’ needs, feelings, wants and dreams … at the expense of your own,” usually shows up in three ways in the workplace:?

1. Being unwilling to express your needs, like asking for time off or an extended deadline.?
2. Picking up the slack for your colleague on an assignment or group project, tiring yourself out in the process.?
3. Giving in to societal pressures, like code-switching as a person of color or being soft-spoken as a woman.?

People-pleasing is not an inherently bad quality, Magee said — people who identify as “givers” at work tend to be well liked, according to organizational psychologist Adam Grant — but identifying when you’re people-pleasing can minimize your risk of feeling physically and emotionally drained.?

Try developing a “personal policy,” leadership coach Melody Wilding wrote on LinkedIn: Give yourself a grace period before you respond to emails or messages that aren’t urgent.?

You can also try “strategic silence,” Wilding said: intentionally don’t speak during moments when you’d otherwise raise your hand for extra work or help someone else. You’ll train your brain to think before acting, and give yourself a stronger sense of control, she wrote.?

You don’t need to stop helping people at work altogether, Magee said, but doing so intentionally can make you feel happier and strengthen your workplace relationships.?

Check out the full story for more on Magee's top tips on how to stop people pleasing when it turns harmful.

Want to master your money this fall?

Sign up for CNBC’s new online course. We’ll teach you practical strategies to hack your budget, reduce your debt, and grow your wealth. Start today to feel more confident and successful. Use code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off, now extended through September 30, 2024, for the back-to-school season: https://cnb.cx/4cQdHu4

More from CNBC: