3 Mistakes in Networking that I Learned and Want to Confess

Ever heard what Tony Fadell says about learning in his book, 'Build'? He goes...

You can get guidance and advice, you can choose a path by following someone else’s example, but you won’t really learn until you start walking down that path yourself and seeing where it takes you.

That quote deeply resonates with me, especially when reflecting on my networking journey here in Kingston. It's been an adventure, full of unexpected twists and invaluable lessons.

Hello, I'm Gail. Over the past eleven months, out of curiosity, I've immersed myself in the networking scene. Transitioning from a recent SLC grad to finding my place in this new community has been quite a shift. Networking has been crucial, turning strangers into friends and making this community feel like home.

It's amusing, yet thought-provoking, when people say, 'Gail, you're everywhere!' or 'Oh, you're here again?' ?? It makes me smile but also think – maybe I'm embracing this networking scene a bit too much?

Let's take a step back. Networking is about meaningful engagement, those 'small world' moments, and forging connections that matter.

As the year began winding down, I felt the strain. Balancing classes, work, family life, managing the Kingston Network Buddy community group, keeping up with social media, and maintaining personal connections... it all became a bit overwhelming. I questioned, 'Am I managing my time and priorities the best way possible?'

Mistake #1: Overcoming FOMO in Networking

So, about ten months ago, I got this idea rolling. I began inviting other international students to networking events via LinkedIn and Instagram, promising always to be their 'networking buddy.' This phrase, borrowed from Prof. Kathy Patterson , felt right and even inspired the name of my community group – Kingston NetworkBuddy. Here's the link to my original post: https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/gailmanigsaca_networking-is-intimidating-need-a-student-activity-7049493769691287552-7PxE?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop

I've been 'Ms. Reliable' from the start, especially with the community group revolving around the networking buddy concept. The only event I missed was last November due to illness. Networking is about more than just showing up, though. It's like these monthly reunions, catching up with friends. It warms my heart, and the excitement of meeting new, interesting people is always a thrill.

These three big motivators – being there as a buddy, enjoying reunions, and the thrill of new encounters – became ingrained in me. It felt impossible not to attend, even when running on 40% energy.

But I ran into a problem. My focus on never missing out made me overlook the fact that it was becoming too much. The idea of not attending even one event felt like letting everyone down.

And then, it was like a domino effect – the more I showed up, the more invites I got to different networking events. Each was unique and interesting, and I couldn't say no. This constant cycle of attending and participating began to fill my schedule, making balancing these opportunities with my downtime and other responsibilities a real challenge.

Mistake #2: Letting Family Time Slip Away

One clear sign I was overdoing it was how I started planning my Saturday evenings and any free day. If there were an open slot, I'd think, 'Great, I can squeeze in a networking event.' This became my automatic reaction.

My networking routine stayed the same even when my husband and son joined me in Kingston. Unintentionally, I had my family adjust to my schedule, not the other way around.

Looking back, I see there were better approaches than this. The time I spent with my family was limited, and I wasn't as present as I should have been. It made me realize the need to balance my networking with quality family time.

Mistake #3: The Overwhelm of Constant Online Presence

This one's about how much time I spent online, especially thinking about social media and engaging my community. Running Kingston NetworkBuddy, I found myself constantly brainstorming content ideas for social media, figuring out ways to keep the community engaged, you know?

Whether at the gym trying to unwind or having dinner with my family, my mind was never really 'off.' I was always planning the next post, responding to comments, or thinking of new ways to spark online conversations. It felt like I was living in two worlds – the real one and the digital one.

And let me tell you, it gets pretty exhausting. This non-stop digital engagement started to take a toll on me. Before I knew it, I was on the fast track to burnout. The irony? I was so caught up in building online connections that I lost touch with the personal, real-life interactions I valued.

Conclusion:

Wrapping this up, diving into networking since February has been one of the best things I've done. I don't regret a single bit of exploring it. Networking should be about joy, not just another thing on your to-do list. (I think so.) This journey's taught me a lot – connecting with others is incredible, but balancing that with self-care and being there for your loved ones is just as crucial.

I'm not here to advise like I've figured it out because I'm still learning as I go. With each interaction and connection, I'm trying to make it count. In his book, 'Never Eat Alone,' Keith Ferrazzi summed it up perfectly:

It's never boring. Time-consuming, sometimes; demanding, perhaps. But dull, never. You're always learning about yourself, other people, business, and the world, and it feels great.

(By the way, Prof. Kathy recommended this book to our class, which is why I 100% agree with her that it is a required reading for ALL students).

And that's precisely it. Networking is this ever-changing, always-teaching experience. It's not just about building a network; it's about growing as a person and understanding the world a little better. So here's to the journey, the learning, and all the great stuff yet to come.

What's one key lesson you've learned from your own networking experiences?

All the best,

Gail