3 Mindset Shifts to Prevent Emotional Burnout for Ambitious Achievers

I was running on empty... emotionally...

I have finally finished crafting an important upcoming keynote, and I was looking to rehearse, rewrite for flow, rewrite for humour and engagement, and rehearse again...

But as I stared at my screen and slides, I was looking for ways to improve the speech, and nothing came...

Nothing!

Nada!

Rien!

As I was about to go into a panic at my creative blockage, I did the unthinkable (well to me...)

I spent the weekend doing nothing! Well, except for for my daily walks, ate my favourite food and binge watched videos on Tik Tok...

Emotional Burnout is Real

I used to think that burnout is a physical thing. However, I've learnt what's worst than physical burnout is emotional burnout. 2 years ago, at the height of the pandemic, I was overcame with anxiety that I threw myself deeper into my work. Crafting virtual speeches, workshops and growing my coaching business.

However, I was so emotionally burnout that I've had to shutdown for months, and even ask for permission from clients to postpone some delivery work.

I just felt so numb, and couldn't bring myself to work. I took everything so seriously, I got triggered more easily, and I thought of worst-case scenarios at the slightest signs that things weren't going well.

The Friday before the weekend, I was feeling angry over a work situation, but instead of seething over it, I had transmuted that anger energy into creative energy and wrote out the manual of an entirely new training program that I've had stored in my head for a few months. After the initial adrenaline rush, I started to wonder whether burning on anger energy is a good thing. It felt great initially that I was able to turn my anger into productive energy, but it may also mean that I can do my best work only when I am angry.

This cannot happen long-term!

Seeing that emotional burnout is about to be upon me, I decided to take the weekend off.

I've emerged from my "weekend retreat" with crystal clarity about my message of the speech.

I've also gained several revelations:

Revelation #1:Functioning at 100% All the Time will Eventually Lead to Burnout

As a ?? WholeHearted?? person, I throw myself into everything I do, whether it is a speech, facilitating a workshop, or just playing board games! I've recently attended trauma-informed classes, created hiring documents to expand the team, and published a special International Women's Month episode of my podcast. That is A LOT of work done, and before I've even celebrated all my wins, I've had to move on to another.

No wonder I was feeling burnt out.

Revelation #2: I Cannot Save Anyone and Everyone

My purpose and mission in life is "Setting Hearts Free and Giving Voice to the Voiceless." I felt that I was severely tested this past couple of months. As an empath, I feel deeply for people I work with. There are times when I would be reading, researching and reflecting on how I can better help people solve their problems, after all "isn't that what I am paid to do?"

Actually... Nope...

As my coaching client, a top director in the Financial Services Industry, Qayyim Isa, Group Financial Services Director, Top of the Table Qualifier said to me over dinner recently, "I don't expect you to solve all my problems. I come to you for specific leadership perspectives and blindspots that I want to work on." Remembering the words of my trauma-informed teacher, Natalia Rachel , "you cannot heal anyone", I would say "I cannot save anyone and everyone!" This is a common problem faced by people in the "Help" professions, and I am sure Coaches, Counsellors, Therapists can relate.

This is a huge relief for me...

Revelation #3: I Can Only Do the Best I Can with What I Know

People have often told me, "you're too hard on yourself!"

I know that cognitively, but I've always found that hard to apply. Recently, I had a situation of a client being dissatisfied with my work (I know, most speakers, coaches don't tell you this) even though I have given the very best. I was feeling really lousy about myself. Until I remember the words of my friend Srijata Bhatnagar during her recent Podcast Interview with me. Whenever she feels lousy, she will remember her father's 2 Questions:

? Did you do the best you can?

?If you'd known any better, what would you have done?

These 2 questions really help me from moving out of self-blame into self-compassion.

Self-Compassion for Achievers

Being an ambitious achiever in a fast-moving society brings about a need to keep the wheels spinning. However, the emotional residue of disappointment, frustration, sadness, guilt and shame will get us down. Pushing aside the emotions to "get things going" may keep things in motion in the short-run, but will lead to emotional burnout in the long-run.

Practising Self-Compassion is key to helping me to Grow and Serve Others with my Life Work.

Let me know in the comments – which of the tips do you find most relatable and helpful for you ??

Enjoy this article? Make sure you subscribe to be notified each time I publish a new one.

And of course if you found value in what you read, please share with your network. ??