3 methods to get what YOU want

This week, I have a very specific topic I wanted to unpack. I’ll tell you what that is in a minute, first let me give you some context on how I chose it.

So, I’m currently on holiday and wanted to buy a football shirt for my nephew (how could I deny it after he asked so nicely?) Now, I had a price in mind - the maximum I was willing to pay. But I strategically got it at a lower price.

How? Read on and you’ll find out.

And that brings us to this week’s topic.

Negotiation.

When I found a shop selling football shirts, I immediately noticed that the prices they were giving me were way too high, for one specific reason - which I’ll tell you in a second.

They also might have been trying to take advantage because I’m a tourist in their area, but what they didn’t know was that they were selling to someone who knows all the tricks in the book - someone who could strategically lower the price using 3 negotiation methods.

Before we hop into those 3 methods, here’s the specific reason the price was too high: The shirt was a fake. Now, you may think I’m being cheap, but that’s all that was available for miles in any direction. And I’m hardly disrupting my entire itinerary for that (even though I’m a football fan myself).

Now, I’ll admit, the shirt being a fake definitely strengthened my negotiations. However, leveraging that piece of information with these methods is how you negotiate successfully.

And here are the methods:

1. Red Lines

Red lines are your non-negotiable boundaries in any negotiation. They protect your interests, maintain your values, and prevent unfavourable compromises. These could include price, timelines, quality standards, or ethical considerations. And as an added bonus, they help you avoid regret and show your confidence in a professional manner.

How to identify and stick to red lines

• Define your priorities: Identify what’s non-negotiable (e.g., price, quality, timelines).
• Set a bottom line: Know the minimum acceptable outcome for you.
• Communicate clearly: State your boundaries respectfully, using “If/Then” statements (e.g., “If this price isn’t possible, then I’ll need to explore other options”).
• Stay committed: Be prepared to walk away if the terms “cross” your red lines.

Communicating your red lines

• Be clear, not confrontational: Clearly articulate your red lines in a way that shows you respect the other party’s position but remain firm about your boundaries.
• Use “if/then” statements: For example, “If we can’t reach this price, then I’ll need to explore other options.” This approach reinforces your limits without shutting down the conversation.

Sticking to your red lines

• Prepare for pushback: Expect the other party to challenge your red lines. Plan how to respond without compromising unnecessarily.
• Know when to walk away: Understand that sometimes, the best negotiation is the one you don’t agree to. Walking away from a bad deal can save you more in the long run.
• Stay emotionally detached: Avoid letting emotions cloud your judgement. Stick to the facts and your pre-determined limits.

Also keep in mind that while red lines are essential, it’s equally important to remain open to creative solutions that don’t violate your core boundaries. For example, if price is a red line but terms are not, you might negotiate payment schedules that work better for both parties.

By establishing and honouring your red lines, you set the stage for productive negotiations that respect your value, protect your interests, and lead to outcomes you can confidently embrace. And that leads me to the next point…

2. Value (Through Anchoring)

Anchoring is a powerful psychological tool in negotiation. The initial number you provide sets a reference point, influencing the other party’s perception of value. It’s how you establish your position and showcase your worth. In other words, it serves as an “anchor.”

How anchoring works

• As a Seller: Anchor at a price higher than your actual goal. This creates room to negotiate down to your desired price while still signalling the value of your offer.
• As a Buyer: Anchor at a price lower than what you’re willing to pay. This gives you room to negotiate upward while staying within your budget.

Balancing anchoring with credibility

• Avoid extremes: It’s important to remember that you shouldn’t go overboard - don’t start too high as a seller, and don’t start too low as a buyer - you could offend or upset the opposite party, and turn them away completely.
• Stay honest: Don’t exaggerate or misrepresent your product or service. If the other party detects dishonesty, they will mentally label you “untrustworthy.” This means your credibility and negotiation power will crumble, and the other person will have all the power. Because what power do you have when your value falls apart?

Remember your red lines

Anchoring is only effective if you respect your boundaries. Don’t sell for less than you’re willing to accept or pay more than you intended. In my situation, the seller anchored too high with a fake football shirt, but I recognised its true value. This is a reminder that your anchor must reflect reality. Remember, people often know more than you think. So never assume anything.

3. Use “How” and “What” Questions

Using “how” and “what” questions is a strategic way to engage the other party in problem-solving and reframing their perspective. These open-ended questions prompt them to think critically about the deal and often lead them to adjust their expectations without direct confrontation.

Why “How” and “What” questions work

• Encourages open-minded thinking: These questions invite the other party to share their needs, concerns, and expectations, creating a sense of partnership.
• Shifts perspectives: By allowing them to consider the practical implications of their demands or requests, they may naturally adjust their expectations to align more with your proposal.
• Reduces resistance: Unlike “why” questions, which can feel confrontational, “how” and “what” questions are non-threatening and keep the conversation constructive.

How to use them effectively

• Understand their needs: Use questions like “What is most important to you in this deal?” or “How does this proposal align with your goals?” to uncover their priorities.
• Reframe their demands: If someone challenges your price or terms, you could ask them these questions and encourage them to consider the feasibility of their requests:

“What level of quality/service would you expect at this price point?”

“How would you handle [specific challenge] under these terms?”

• Deflect unreasonable demands: If a demand is unrealistic, respond with a question that shifts the responsibility back to them. For example:

“What would you suggest as a fair solution to meet both our needs?”

“How do you propose we achieve [specific outcome] with this budget or timeline?”

Remember to listen actively, stay neutral and leverage their answers in order to properly utilise your “What” and “How” questions. Do this successfully and you’ll uncover the hidden priorities that’s necessary to know for negotiation purposes and sales in general.

Now, in my “shirt-buying” case, I asked “what” and “how” questions. But do you think the seller did it too…?

These are only 3 tips out of 12. You can find the rest here:

By the way, can you guess which team’s football shirt my nephew wanted? Hit reply on this email, or message me on one of my socials to tell me your guess (and get the answer).

Until next Saturday, have a great week and take care.

James.