3 Little Birds that Were my Saving Grace
John Woolley
Brother, Son, & Father | Vision - the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom | Training & Development
Back in the day, when I was graduating from my undergrad program, I had one of the most startling, yet familiar experiences – familiar because I think if I were to have conversations with you all individually, you will have gone through something similar at some point.?
I was getting ready to graduate from college and awaiting the world to welcome me with open arms. I had a girl I was dating and expecting things to continue going well; I had just started a new business venture that I had high hopes for; and of course, just graduating, I was about to step into the dream job.?
As I graduated though, and as that spring turned into summer, one by one, each of these plans fell apart right in front of me. It felt like I had these three little birdies that I was keeping safe in a nest – feeding them, watching them grow, and taking care of them – waiting for the day to let them out and fly. But as I tossed them up and out to let them take flight, they individually got shot out of the sky.?
I found myself foundering to say the least and wanted to act fast and do something about it. So six months later I found myself going back down to school to get a masters degree.?
Exciting as it was, it took plenty of pep talks and positive affirmations to actually get myself to go. Although the latter two years of my bachelors degree ended well enough, they were not particularly enjoyable at the moment. Those years were some of my loneliest and had been some of my hardest up to that point in my life. But here I was, getting ready to head back into that same situation just a short time later, and often finding myself questioning if it was the right decision.?
Something was different however, and I didn’t know it at that time, but it ended up being my saving grace, making all the difference for the next two years of my college experience.?
You see, our world operates as such: we make choices that form habits around certain things in our life’s, and we gain relationships with these things based on how we believe they’re supposed to show up for us. That’s why circumstances don’t matter as much as what’s going on inside. You take someone and move them to different circumstances and all these things are going to show up for them the exact same way as they did before. Why? Because our mind likes to keep things routine and predictable.?
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Part of our mind (and this is its sole purpose) is built to recognize and register information that supports beliefs, habits, and attitudes that are already in place – that we have been built over time through our choices. So when we have attitudes or beliefs about how certain things show up for us in our lives – relationships, money, business, jobs, and anything else – our mind works very hard to keep all of our experiences in line with those beliefs. It likes being consistent and routine because it keeps us safe and comfortable.?
Going back down to school then, I knew if I wanted this experience to show up different for me, it meant I had to show up different going into it. And that was my saving grace.?
So here are three things that will jog anyone’s mind out of the safe, comfortable, and very often times limiting beliefs the mind has built. Things that tell your mind you're in charge and gives you the power of choice.?
Okay, there’s five – I lied.???
Going back to school that winter, I was no more than a young kid who felt like the world was about to be swallowed whole in a lot of ways. Maybe that’s a little dramatic, but at the very least, I felt broken, I felt like a failure, I wasn’t sure if there was anything all that good that was out there waiting for me. But once I started working on my mind and getting that right, I began to see my entire experience shift – and it shifted to where I became the captain of my life and the master of my choices. Not some obscure or random belief/thought I had chosen long ago, but right here, right now I could jump in the driver’s seat and take command. I called myself into the game to make the plays and win it!?
Now more than ever, we need this. Too many people, no one is excluded but especially our young people, have given up this power they have to choose and don’t know how to take it back. There is a need to take it back; to put the ball back in your own court, shake the rust off that coats the mind, and learn the practice of being the one in charge of your choices.