3 Lifelong Lessons Learned in 2020

There is no way to spin it...2020 has been a very tough year. So many across the globe experienced some type of loss this year. Loss of employment, loss of economic stability, loss of education, loss of business, or worst of all, loss of life. But as this year comes to a close, I realize how much I have learned from all this adversity. Some lessons are not all that valuable (or flattering). For instance, being forced to watch myself on dozens of Zoom calls made me realize I have a few annoying meeting habits. However, for this article, I’m focusing on deeper, more impactful learning that I will carry forward into 2021 and beyond.

Let go of judgment.

World-famous comedian George Carlin used to make an observation about driving on the interstate. Carlin said, “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

Since first becoming aware of Coronavirus earlier this year, I have observed reactions and behaviors across the spectrum. Some people locked themselves in their homes, had all of life’s essentials delivered to their door, and instituted strict disinfection procedures for packages before bringing them into the home. Other people I know felt the virus was blown out of proportion and they went on with their lives as if nothing had changed, even attending live concerts without a mask. Most people fell somewhere in between these two extremes, but they all shared one thing in common: No matter which position they took, they all strongly believed their way was correct. Using Carlin’s analogy, “Anyone taking less risk than you is an idiot, and anyone taking more risk than you is a maniac!”

This year more than ever, I have learned to accept that we are all different, without assigning any judgement. I’ve heard it said that your perspective is determined based on your experiences, education, and environment. We all have differing risk tolerances based on the information we receive, which is then filtered through our life experiences and meshed with the opinions of those we respect, love, and associate with. Bottom line, we won’t always agree on what is “right,” but we should all agree to respect each other and withhold judgement.

Optimism can be a blind spot.

My default setting in life has always been “glass half-full.” I try to find the silver lining whenever the rain clouds move in. I assume things will work out, and I believe most people have good intentions. I know it sounds naive, but I prefer to live my life this way. And I always assumed this positive mindset better equipped me to handle adversity. But I never imagined my optimism could be a blind spot.

In March 2020, our executive team gathered to make tactical adjustments to our annual business plan. Operating a real estate portfolio that includes retail centers and apartments and is valued at $500 million, we knew this pandemic would have significant impacts on our business. However, looking back I realize my eternal optimism influenced some of the recommendations I made. I had hoped the Coronavirus would be short-lived and minimally destructive, so I miscalculated the magnitude of risk and duration of impact. Fortunately, others on our team provided a counter-balance to my cheery disposition, which caused our budget reforecast to be much more accurate. 

It’s common knowledge that we should engage in conversations with those who think differently in order to expand our perspective. But going forward, I will seek out sources that do not confirm my own “positivity bias” to ensure my optimism does not become a blind spot again.

I am responsible for educating my children.

Prior to this year, I assumed the teachers, principals, and administrators of my children’s schools knew precisely what was best for my kids. I rarely questioned the fundamental practices of our educational institutions. I had unconsciously relinquished my authority to the experts without realizing it. Or perhaps, it was simply easier for me to avoid shouldering the full responsibility.

After three months of “remote learning” in the spring, my wife and I evaluated all of our options for the fall. After much discussion, research, and consideration, we decided to homeschool all three of our children (8th grade, 6th grade, and 3rd grade) for one school year. The primary motivation was to spare our children the uncertainty, fear, anxiety, and inconsistency of what was to come in the 2020–2021 school year. We found some local support, ordered a full curriculum of books, and jumped off the cliff in August. Little did we know it would be one of the best decisions we’ve ever made as parents. It has been a huge commitment of time, energy, and oversight, but we believe the benefits will be far reaching. We have a greater understanding of each child's learning style, strengths, interests, aptitude, and so much more.

Our children have taken an active role in their education. We provide guidelines each week regarding the subjects and scope, but each child determines what work is completed each day. Learning is no longer confined to a specific place, a time of day, or day of the week. Learning can happen anywhere, anytime, and with anyone, if you develop a curious mind.

During this pandemic, I have heard many parents complain about the school system, the teachers, the unions, and the negative impacts on their children. Some parents want more in-school instruction, some want 100% remote instruction, and some are just pissed off because their kids are home all day. From my perspective, the teachers, administrators, and facilities were simply ill-equipped to respond to the pandemic. No blame, no judgement, but the system was not designed to adapt quickly. Our education system, like so many other segments of society, will be changed forever by the events of 2020. I am hopeful we’ll see a renaissance of knowledge and learning that is accessible to everyone in the years ahead.

We have a world of information readily available to the vast majority of us. To quote Silicon Valley investor Naval Ravikant, “The best teachers are on the Internet. The best books are on the Internet. The best peers are on the Internet. The tools for learning are abundant. It’s the desire to learn that’s scarce.” So instead of casting dispersions or blaming teachers for boring Zoom calls, let’s invest the time and energy into helping our children discover the joy of learning. In doing so, we will empower the next generation to become more than we could ever imagine.