3 Lessons You Learn Waiting for Your High-Horse

"No, no, no! This isn't happening. Not now. Not tonight. Not my mom," I thought aloud, as I hid behind the pillar. 

A mere 30 seconds ago, I felt regal, honored, and important. 

I was walking on air.  

Now, in the middle of the crowded room, watching my inebriated mother boogie-down on the projection screen above the dance floor, I felt feeble, vulnerable, and mortified. I contemplated running as fast and as far as my stilettos would take me.

"This is how we did it in my day, mothaf-----s!" She belted, as she gave the High School Administrator a good whack on the behind-- for emphasis, I suppose.

It was my Senior year and I was nominated for Prom Queen-- this was a great honor to me. I felt as though I had finally fooled my classmates. I was finally just like them, with normal parents and normal mother-daughter grievances and peeves. 

"Savannah, we had to ask your mom to leave; it was that, or call the police."  

"The police?" I checked my cell phone. Five missed calls and a voicemail from my very angry, very hurt, mom wondering why I didn't have her back. 

I felt ashamed for hiding, angry that she showed up at all, and humored that my mom was kicked out of my prom.  

What could I do? There wasn't much to do. No use crying over spilled milk!

I laughed off the jokes and snickering, propped the tiara high on my head, and walked out to the platform with an air of decorum as I smiled and waved for the ceremony. 

I can recount tales such as this and laugh now, however, it wasn't always funny and it wasn't always easy. In fact, many incidents were humbling.  

Pretenses and temper tantrums never got me anywhere.  

There are three very important lessons you learn while waiting for your high-horse:

1) Independence: Awaiting my high-horse has taught me to be lonely. I had no desire to use college as a means to find my independence because I always had it. I craved the structure and discipline that most teenagers complained about. Although I was well-liked and well-received in every clique, I was tired of fighting to find commonality with a group of kids whom I never totally related to.  

Sorority-life seemed like the equivalent of a viper pit.

Dorm-life felt like an adolescent version of playhouse.

Instead, I moved to an unfamiliar town, worked several jobs, attended college, and rented a house to myself. I can't engage in lively, coming-of-age university partying stories, rather, in those first years, I found my identity in learning to be alone.  

2) Perspective: While awaiting my high-horse, I have learned to forgive. Justice is not always found and loved ones will break your heart. Guaranteed. I keep a balanced perspective in relationships. I invest in people knowing that they will disappoint me at some point and vice versa. Throwing a temper tantrum over hurt feelings gets us nowhere; it only makes us feel worse and seem superficial.

3) Humility: While awaiting my high-horse, I have made so many friends in the trenches, on the mountain top, and everywhere in between! Life is rich and people are amazing. If you pay attention to their stories, no matter their background, prestige, or lack thereof, you will find that we all face similar challenges and I cannot think of a better way to build a network. 

My high-horse has yet to arrive but in the meantime, I am sporting my crown because one day, I will look back and say, "Oh honey, you earned it!" 

I figured it out years before Taylor Swift came on the scene with "Shake it Off"