3 Lessons Mother Taught Me that Changed My Life

First and foremost, Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! The dedication it takes to be a mother cannot be emphasized enough. May you feel the love and excitement in the air, not just today, but forever. Your existence is worthy of continual honor and celebration.

The late, great Maya Angelou once likened describing her mother to writing about a hurricane in its perfect power or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. Michael Jordan confessed that his mother is his root, his foundation, and Lady Gaga reflected on her mother's teachings of acceptance, tolerance, bravery, and compassion.

Just as many great figures attribute a significant measure of their success to their mothers, many of us can do the same. Whether it was your biological mom or someone who influenced you along the way, embrace that influence. Consider the many areas of your life their influence has impacted. Take a moment to reflect and appreciate.

I was raised in the early '90s by Joycelyn Andrew (RIP), a phlebotomist passionate about nursing, education, and family. In 1994, New Orleans became the murder capital of the world, with almost 500 people murdered in a year. I remember being in fourth grade, hearing gunshots echoing across the schoolyard during recess. Some things I experienced as a youth, I can't imagine my children experiencing today.

Raising kids in those conditions as a single mother was no easy feat. I watched my mother cry over bills, work through depression, lose jobs, etc. But one thing she never did was give up. We saw our fair share of eviction notices, empty refrigerators, and financial hardship, matters that were the norm among poor black families. Nevertheless, despite the grief, there was also greatness to behold.

A greatness that incorporated prayer, wisdom, and practical practices. Such practices transcend time and act as foundational drivers for my own success today. I'm thrilled to share some of them in this week's edition.

Lesson #1: Walk through the grime with gratitude.

Mom showed us that no matter the conditions, forward movement must be accomplished. Of course, setbacks happen; however, setbacks are merely setups for something great to happen. This is the perspective that my brother and I were taught to embrace. Mom moved forward through the tough times with a special approach—she was grateful.

I remember one summer my friend's grandmother cooked lunch for me while my mom worked. Every day I'd go by his house, and we'd play, and like clockwork, his grandmother would have a meal for us around noon. The next year around tax time, mom walked around the corner and gave my friend's grandmother half of her tax return! I was shocked because taxes were a big thing in underserved communities. When I asked her why, she explained that was a token of gratitude for feeding me all summer. My friend said his grandma cried because they were behind on bills and had an eviction notice.

See, gratitude can exist even when it feels like there isn't much to be grateful for. Allow it to be a part of who you are. It's the approach of being in charge of the narrative and not letting the narrative take charge of you!

Lesson #2: Advance your knowledge even if you're at a disadvantage.

Due to having to raise her younger siblings, Mom didn't get to attend college right out of high school. She went into the workforce and stepped in to assist my grandmother. Regardless of the circumstance, not attending college didn't deter her from learning. Mark Twain once said: "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

Mom would read tons of novels, diet books, health education, etc. I vividly remember her attending nursing school and having to quit because it was simply too much. That did not prevent her from expanding her knowledge. She still read and studied like she was an active student. No matter the disadvantage, she still strived to advance. You can certainly do the same! Circumstances won't always be ideal; however, if you make a concerted effort to maximize your growth, against all odds, you'll do just that!

Lesson #3: Be the best at preparing to show up

Every night my mother would prepare her clothes for work the next morning. She'd iron, journal, take a few notes, and rest. She didn't have a vehicle, so walking almost a mile to the bus stop was the norm, even in thunderstorms. Nevertheless, her preparation was consistent, and she made it to work. I don't recall her even taking days off or vacation.

Joycelyn Andrew took pride in her preparation. It afforded her a significant measure of respect in the VA Medical Center of New Orleans. Most of all, those habits revolutionized my own efforts.

“You see, success doesn’t just suddenly occur one day. For that matter, neither does failure. Each is a process. Every day of your life is merely preparation for the next.” – John C. Maxwell

If your mother is alive, take some time and express gratitude for her contributions. Consider reaching out to the women in your life and acknowledge the lessons you've learned from them. Actions truly speak louder than words and if there's anything I am grateful for, it's my mom's actions. They continue to speak! I hope they spoke to you today.

Happy Mother's Day!