3 Lessons I’m Learning From Death

Can death serve as a tool for motivation and help better align our priorities? I recently lost several loved ones, including two aunts, a cousin, and a close friend's brother, as well as my sister's dog. I am finding ways to process these losses. Death can be very scary but in the right light, you can learn a lot, you can use it to better shape your life. Here are a few things I’m learning/feeling/experience:

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Our Time Is Limited- If you think about it, average life expectancy is 78, if I only see a loved family/friend once a year, right now I’m 41, so I might only have 37 more times or occasions to see them. When you do the reverse math, $hit gets real; you start to figure out quickly, that your relationships are everything. This hits me the hardest when I think about my parents and the limited time I have left with them. For those with dogs, the average life expectancy of 13-15 years feels painfully short.

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When I’m with friends/family, I’m fully present (most of the time), because one day I could lose them. Put your phone away. Don’t put it on the dinner table, even flipped upside down. When you get a message or call, it pulls you away from that loved one, yes, even for a fraction of a second (thanks, Cal Newport for calling this out). ?Our time is the most valuable thing in the world, plan like tomorrow will never come.

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I bought this ridiculously large visual calendar showing all 365 days (thanks, Jesse Itzler ). If I want to get the most out of time, I need to be better about planning. I love this giant calendar, I think constantly about how I’m spending my time. We overestimate what we can do in a day but underestimate a whole year.?

The Importance of Showing Up- Most of life is showing up, if you can be there for a loved one in the end, don’t hesitate. When I’m on my deathbed, I want to be surrounded by loved ones.? The only way for that to happen, is if I show up for them and I plan to do precisely that. One of my best friends brother died at 42, he was devastated, everyone traveled to be there for him. He was incredibly thankful for us to be there, it brought us even closer, and that bond is everything. When my sister’s dog passed, I was there via Facetime from a distance and my brother was in the room with her. It was terrible to see her dog Zoey be in so much pain, it pained me to see my sister suffer this loss, so glad I could be there for her.

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One powerful article from Scott Galloway on death helps me put things into perspective on showing up, take a read if you have a moment, I read it anytime I am faced with death/dying (thanks Scott Galloway ). My aunt recently passed at 68 from cancer + heart troubles, and I’m glad my dad could be there for her, along with family. Show up!

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Prioritizing Health, Fitness, & Happiness- I don’t want to be on my deathbed, thinking about how I should have or could have been healthier. Take action by starting with simple steps and aim to work up a sweat at least. I’ve been impressed by how my parents at 70+ are focused heavily on health/fitness, and they feel/look great. It wasn't always this way. Perhaps they are not done being a powerful example for their kids. The lifestyle choices of your inner circle of friends and family can greatly influence your own.

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All this to say, cherish your key inner circle, be there in the hard times, and never take even a single minute for granted. We only have one life to live…you’ve got this!

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Greener

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