3 Lessons I Learned in 2019

Where Do I Start?

...I guess I start from the beginning but that would be a 465 page book, just in this one year. As I sit here and write this I am submitting my topic for my first TED Talk.  If you don't know what that is, google it, you are already behind about 15 years of valuable information you really need to get in the 21st century and catch up a little.  

Am I worthy of being up on the TED Stage? Hell Yeah! and so are you, so don't think for a second I am better, I just never freaking give up until I get what I want OR I realize that was never what I wanted in the first place and move in a different direction.  

Last year this time, I was picking my word for 2019, and the word was "Transparency" I was dedicated to give it my all in 2019 to be totally and utterly transparent and not hold back. I was wanting to connect more with people since I tend to be an introvert personally. I was really wanting to get out there and meet new people on and offline...boy did I do that!

Do you really want to hear the gory details about my relationships, the failures my shocking moments, my "can't believe I did that" moments, my family crisis, my work blunders, my most personal "thing" that happened that I thought would take me down...???

If you are my mother reading this, you already know them all. If you are anyone else, you will need to wait as I will share all that on video via my Youtube Channel, so you can really get the feel for the entire situation. It's challenging to share all this stuff you know...you have things in your life that have happened to you that I am sure I could learn from, but sharing them openly and transparently is one of those things that makes you feel:

- judged

- less than perfect

- a big fat mess

- a failure

- a trouble maker 

- a whiner

- an attention getter

...BUT HEY! who really cares what other people think, it' the age of social media, where you can choose to not listen, not read, not tune in and block people (If you have never done that, check out my detailed video titled "Ghost or Not To Ghost".

So let's get back to the first part of the year, I know you want to hear all the good...the bad...and the ugly! There is a lot of good, actually it's all good when you think about it, because even the perceived bad is there in your life for a reason and it turns out to be good for you in one way another.

So with my word for the year 2019 decided on as "Transparency" and the month of January being the month that I disconnected and cut off an engagement from a guy that was total fake and impostor...the year seemed to be starting right LOL. Think about your January 2019 and comment below ONE THING that you did that you can remember of significance.  

February I attended Funnel Hacking Live which was one of the most amazing tech conferences I have ever been to, crying almost every day and feeling like I received life altering information to set me up for the year and my life.

One of those thoughts or words or impactful things I realized yet again could be summed up in this statement "Poor people elapse timeframes, they watch, they fear, they fight, time is money - which is a lie. BUT...Wealthy people collapse timeframes - time is infinitely more valuable than money, money is not the goal. Message me and I will explain this more, or just comment below the word "MONEY" and I will send you an entire page of what that means, what that should mean to you and how to change your world around by using that sentence.

ANYWAY...let's get to it!.  

March I decided to take my transparency to a new level and go LIVE on Facebook for 30 days straight about whatever the heck I wanted. It was kind of like my own little show "in my head" and whoever wanted to watch could watch. Well it started to grow within just 10 days. WOW, there is something to being consistent. Of course I already know this, but for those that don't realize HOW GOOD being consistent can be for your life ...keep reading this story, you will see.  

Every morning I would get up, I would plan my day around going LIVE. From 11:00am until about 2:00pm my day was blocked off. Because it took me 1 hour to truly prepare (content, location, setup) and 1 hour of going LIVE and 30 minutes of responding and commenting on the livestream comments so that I didn't diss my viewers or be that one girl online that never says HI.

My Livestream started becoming super popular so I decided to create some structure to it. I went live without fail every day at 12:30, My show's purpose was to "Enhance Social Connectedness" and when people tuned in they would hear something related to motivational, inspirational, local celebrity people I thought were interesting, larger celebrity people other people thought were interesting, topics that other people never seemed to discuss and sometimes I just talked about brainless things like "who has more fun, blonds or brunettes"  Now if you happen to check this episode out, it was the very first time I declared my purpose of going live as well as named the show and it's tag line enhancing social connectedness. Interestingly enough, this title was one of the very first titles Oprah Winfrey did on her show 26+ years ago when she first started.  

...So to all the educated women out there, it's ok to be a little brainless and ditsy and talk about things that don't show you are hyper intelligent..ok enough about that. What about what I learned from this entire year? What about the two topics my viewers constantly told me I never talked about, My Relationships and My family! What about you? if you are reading this, comment below the word "relationship ended in 2019" or "relationship started in 2019". and let me know what you went through this year.

"IN BUSINESS YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU GET WHO YOU ARE"

The reason I put that quote above into this post, is because I wanted this year to be the year I gave back, anonymously and to everyone I met.  I wanted to BE the person that was always helping others, always giving to others, always following through and always having the time to make a difference. I feel that I did that, but it started to bite me in the A**. oh well, another mini lesson learned!!

When I decided to write this post, I wanted to pick the top 3 things that if I could make a difference in your life, it would be to share these things, especially for women. Anyone who reads from this moment on and says to themself.. "I already knew that". WELL, then you are ahead of the game and good for you and comment below something else you learned this year that could help me...please! I want to know, don't think a thought in your head without sharing, be a contributor to our lives, don't read and then just go away, COMMENT!

LESSON #1: Act Like You Are Expiring

In your adult life, have you ever looked in the mirror and said "wow, I thought I would be farther along by now". This statement was something I heard from Dean Graziosi early in the year and it stood true for me at the beginning of 2019, or so I thought.  It means that we all think in some small way that we should be farther along, have more money, be more successful, have more of a following, be a better person, be stronger, leaner, thinner, smarter, funnier, more social, more charismatic, more optimistic, happier, have more opportunities or whatever your thing is.

BUT...

The Truth and Lesson For Me was...I was already successful, in many different things. There is no amount of money that will add to that, there is no amount of recognition that will change my life to be "Perfect". Of course you are reading this and thinking "yeah! DUH!!" or you may be thinking that there IS an amount of money that would make your life better. I would challenge that.  

The lesson of living life like you are expiring is kind of what I did this year without knowing it. Every day I went LIVE on facebook, it was uncomfortable. Every day i met new people, talked openly about things I would have never done before this year. So much so that every day my mother would cringe and tell me "oh lord, I can't watch you need to stop talking about yourself Cheryl, it's just opening you up to too much".  

I didn't care.

I wanted to be transparent about everything so away I went, topic after topic, meeting people online, business owners, meeting people in person, interviewing people, finding out about all kinds of things that I never knew, lifestyles I didn't really take time to think about and ultimately had so much fun doing it, it energized me every day. Going LIVE was a part of my life after a while and it was fun, lots of fun.  I enjoyed every minute and loved every show and everything was so right...

until it was wrong.

Acting like you are expiring means to be real, be authentic, be confident, be courageous and do the things you are afraid of doing. Do the things, talk to the people, go to the places, take the chances, live on the edge...as if your life is expiring.

Because... it... IS!  

You only have so many years on this earth and you already know this, you don't need to be reading this in this blog but I am going to tell you this again, and that is that you are either living or dying every minute, so choose to live.  

Stop being afraid and get a buddy to do it with you if you have to.

Stop being weak and conjure up your own strength - there is nothing worse than a wimp ass weak person who can't make a decision and spends their life on the fence.

Stop acting like a baby and wanting life to be fair

Stop sharing all your troubles people really don't give a shit

Stop being a follower and start being a leader first for your own self awareness and then for your physical appearance and then for your mindset.

Start a blogStart a new business

Start a relationship where you go in 100%

Start giving more

Start drinking more water

Start eating less sugar

Start sleeping on the other side of the bed

Start telling people how wonderful they are

Start giving people eye contact when you speak to them

Start standing up for who you are and don't make even one apology for your character

...just start because you ARE expiring and I want you to live the best life ever while you are here on this earth.

LESSON #2: 10x'ing the wrong thing...can really mess your life up

This lesson is going to be short and sweet. It's simple. Be careful what you decide to expand in your life because if it's the wrong thing you will simply 10x your problems in the end. For me, I spread myself way too thin, did way too many jobs, started way too many businesses and went all in with people and things that clearly did not serve me.  

If you are wondering what it means when I say "did not serve me" I will explain a little. I am super spiritual when it comes to my life, making decisions and moving forward with people and things and this includes business. 

Why, then do I not take that little nudge in my stomach when it tells me "this is not good", "moving in this direction is not feeling good" etc. etc. etc. Why when we receive the sign do we not listen. WELL, because we are human. Until the time when we become 100% spirit we will continue to make these little human mistakes...l

like..

doing stupid shit we know does not serve us.  

To serve you WELL, means you feel good all the way around about the thing you are about to do. It means having no reservations the minute you get wind of it. It means having the full speed ahead gut feeling and never looking back.  

YET,

this year, I had MANY MANY reservations about people, places, things, businesses, events, and I still did them.

I do not regret any of it.

however...this year will be different. I will move slower, I will listen to my gut feelings, I will hear my intuition and not stuff it away. I will ask myself when something is bothering me "why is this bothering me" and see what pops up in my mind. I would challenge you to do this as well, you would be surprised what comes back to you in thoughts. In fact, comment below if you have had an intuition of some kind and NOT listened to it and it turned out "it was right" and you were wrong. Just comment below the word "GUT RIGHT" or "GUT WRONG"

LESSON #3: Choosing who you work with is true success

There was a day this year where I talked about "I will be successful when..." if you get a chance watch it and let me know what you think. Well one of those things is a lesson I learned this year. It was "I know I am successful when...I can choose who to work with"  

The reality is that we are all successful, RIGHT NOW! You don't need to write down a list of things to accomplish before being successful. You don't need to meet that one person, start that one business, invent that one thing, buy that one house, drive that one car or be that type of person someone wants you to be. 

To Be Successful!

By the end of this year, I had realized that choosing to work with someone is a really big thing. Choosing to work with someone means every day of your life, every aspect of your family's life and every future goal you have for yourself depends on this working relationships. But in no way do you need to wait until some undetermined time to be able to choose who this is.  

If you are working a nine to five job and don't want to work with that boss again, go find a new job. I say this, because invariably someone will read this and say "well that's easy to say when you are an entrepreneur ...(UHHHH! no it isn't) but when you work for someone it isn't that easy".

My answer is...yes it is! 

Just make a conscious decision that you are going to find another job making even more money with an amazing person who will become your boss (if you want a boss) and that person and that job or opportunity will find it's way to you.

But for me, it was a little different. My lesson this year is that there is nothing more valuable than choice. Making a choice is up to you. Not making a choice is also a choice.

Writing this blog is a choice...and I love doing it!

Going LIVE on FB, IG and YT is a choice, and I love doing it!

Being self employed is a choice..and I love doing it!

Choosing who you work with is a choice. There is no reason whatsoever you should be sitting around unhappy in any kind of situation thinking that you have no choice.  

That is poor and lack thinking, it's also the thoughts of a person who is a victim. 

Are you a victim? Is your life unfair? Are you allowing other people to rule your world. Are you making the choice of "poor me". Well if you are, that is on you.  

If you are still reading and you get to this sentence, I desperately want to encourage you to CHOOSE YOU" . Choose to do things for YOU, Choose who to work with, who to love, who to friend and who to disassociate with. And if you are not sure and you just can't put your finger on an unsettling feeling you have about someone don't hesitate to check them out.  

Be safe this year, 2020 is going to be a year with many amazing choices and they are all yours, no one else.

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If you want to see more videos from me, check back frequently on Amazon.  My season 2 is in full swing and my upcoming TED Talk about Enhancing Social Connectedness is sure to ruffle some feathers.