3 lessons from talking about kindness

Talking to people about kindness is a joy! Every time I do it, I realise just how much fun I’m having and how much it makes me smile.

Last weekend, Team Time for Kindness and I took part in the University of Reading’s inaugural community festival. We ran an activity called ‘Share Your Story’ asking visitors to tell us about acts of kindness they had been involved in. We invited them to record their story in words or pictures.

During the day we had so many fantastic, uplifting conversations. Some people had been on the receiving end of a kind act and others had done something kind themselves. We heard about kindness such as:

• A student whose umbrella broke in the rain and a passing stranger gave her an umbrella to use for the rest of her journey home
• A lady from Ukraine who came to the UK to stay with a host family and was overwhelmed by the welcome she received
• A thoughtful cleaner at the hospital who bought chocolate for someone who was waiting for their young nephew while he had a heart operation

By the end of the festival day we had around 50 drawings and post-it notes displayed on our whiteboard.

What I noticed

As is my way, I noticed things on the day from several perspectives, including with my communicator hat on. There were some things that really struck me about the comms aspects of the day.

Telling positive stories comes with an energy that inspires others.

Time and again people said ‘We need positive conversations like this’. As they spoke, their eyes lit up and they smiled and laughed. They talked about feeling connections through kindness and as a result we felt connected to each other too.

Our stall had a pop-up banner with a few example stories on it. Festival visitors stopped to read it and that sparked memories of their own positive experiences. It was a virtuous circle of reading something that made them smile, followed by adding something to the whiteboard for others to be inspired by.

Offering different ways to share stories opened up the activity and gave people a starting point.

We encouraged people to share with us through conversations, drawing pictures and writing down their key points. Some visitors to the stall got stuck in straightaway, sitting down with paper and pencils to draw a picture. Others preferred to talk with a member of Team TfK first.

Whichever method they chose, the outcome was the same – they had shared their story and we all felt uplifted as a result.

Children are prepared to describe themselves in ways that adults aren’t.

We had several kids whose story of kindness was about things they had done themselves. One girl was particularly proud of herself (and rightly so). When I told her that we were collecting stories of kind people and asked if she knew any, without hesitation she said “Yes – me!”

It was really refreshing to be having conversations with people who weren’t embarrassed about recognising themselves as kind. I would love it if we can one day get to a place where adults are proud to describe themselves as kind and not feel that it is somehow showing off or, worse, revealing weakness.

What can you apply to communication at your organisation

There are a few things that I think you can consider in relation to communications across a whole organisation.

• Find the stories that people connect with and which spread positive energy. This is particularly helpful when you are trying to?develop or change a particular culture.
• Make it easy for people to join in. By and large being part of something bigger has a positive impact on us all, but it isn’t always easy to find a way in. Or it can be harder for some than others to access.
• Use different methods of communication and connection. Different groups will have different needs, preferences and motivations. Find out what those are, take that knowledge and use it!
• Have a clear vision (dream) and find the early adopters. Encourage others to follow suit by sharing positive stories.

And finally, on a personal note

If something brings you joy, others will react positively to you talking about it and sharing your excitement. So find your joy and do it more!

I am an independent kindness cheerleader and communicator. I work with my clients to find ways to communicate their kindness stories, change attitudes and behaviours, and achieve their organisational goals. Find out more on?my website.