3 lessons from 2023

I'm not a New Year's resolutions person. It's probably because the usual resolutions around eating "right" and fitness feel unnecessary to me –?I'm a loyal Crossfitter with an aggressive love for all baked goods, so I'm not going to exercise much more, or eat much less.

(At last count, it's 10AM and I may have eaten 3 cookies from a wonderful box baked by Ethena 's VP of Design.)

But I do like reflecting on the year so that's what I'm doing today with the hope that you may also find my 2023 learnings useful. Here they are:

Have a hard conversation as soon as you realize you need to have one

I find myself falling into the trap of realizing that I need to have some form of a hard conversation. For sake of example, let's say I need to tell someone who works reports to me that they are falling short in a certain area. I'll come to that realization and then, often, I'll want to stall. I go through my magical thinking:

• Maybe they'll realize it on their own
• I've been giving too much constructive feedback –?let's sit on this a week
• Maybe they'll just improve and the point will be moot

While I think this stalling is reducing my anxiety, it's actually just letting the uncomfortable feeling linger. I only feel relief after I have the conversation.

I've learned this lesson basically every year I've been a person, whether it's about business or personal life, but this year I started finding a solution that worked better. I can't say I used it 100% of the time, but 100% of the time, when I used it, it worked better than magical thinking.

What I now try to do is once I've realized I need to have a hard conversation, I commit to a conversation in the form of either putting the issue on an agenda or letting the person know I'd like to find time with them. Just by putting something on my calendar, I feel like I've already done the hardest part which is to say that I have something to say.

When times get hard, control what you can

This one is also true in personal and professional life. I'll start with the personal. I've been pregnant for much of 2023. I can't control whether I feel nauseous or exhausted or like an insomniac who forgets to put the milk back in the fridge after eating cereal and reading the New Yorker at 3AM (happened last night, realized it around 7AM).

But this pregnancy, I've tried to focus on what is in my control, which is usually around habits. I've tried to control going to bed even earlier because I don't know whether insomnia will pop up on a given night, so I'll give myself a head start. I've committed to 3 mornings a week of 6AM Crossfit classes even if I'm tired, or even if I have to modify most of the workout, because I can control physically getting myself into the gym.

Work wise, the past year has been pretty wild for startups/tech, starting with a literal bank run. My team and I made the decision to control what's in our control, which is actually a lot. Precisely because we can't control if a customer suddenly goes out of business, we need to control and focus on everything that's in our power to emerge even stronger.

For us, that meant a few things, but one of the biggest ones was building a few new products to allow us to grow even if the economy isn't. We put our heads down and built:

• An employee hotline and HR case management tool that many companies now use to manage their employee relations issues with ease and transparency
• A phishing simulator to go with our cyber security training
• A Learning/Training Management System to let our customers manage not just Ethena-created content but their own content

Personally and professionally, I won't say I never wallow in self pity (that's what the cookies are for – joy or sorrow). But looking back on this year, I'm glad I can still back squat a healthy weight and I'm proud that my company is so much bigger and stronger too, because we focused on what was in our control.

Work with good people

This is an evergreen lesson I repeat often but it's so damn true –?find the best people and work with them. Their good habits and attitude will rub off and it doesn't really matter what you're doing as long as you're doing it with a good team.

This holiday break, I also hope you get to spend a lot of time with the good people in your life. I'm thrilled to be taking next week off to spend with my family and am even hoping I get in a little fun reading. I grabbed The Best Minds from the library (because I'm cheap, but on kindle, because I'm practical) and welcome any other book recommendations for the break!