3 Keys to Resolving Relationship Problems in your Couple or Marriage

All couples can struggle with communication. In the beginning it can be more about negotiating each other’s preferences and ways of doing things. Later on it can be because life gets busy and we lose touch with one another as friends.

Our happiness in a caring relationship depends on our ability to grow our friendship in the beginning stages of the relationship then to maintain the friendship throughout life’s challenges and busyness. Here are 3 steps that can help in achieving this:

1. Don’t bury the problems - Keeping your heart free of grievances

When things get tough we tend to avoid certain issues. It feels safer to not bring them up anymore in order to stop fighting or arguing. So we put on a happy face as we bottle up the unresolved problems and do our best to focus on the positives. Within itself, this is healthy.

We often have to choose to see there are a lot more positives in the relationship than negatives. The challenge though is that over time those unsettled issues cause bitterness and resentment. Over the years this grows to a point where everything our partner does or says can start to irritate or annoy.

Long-term unresolved relational issues will eventually override the good that we have tried so hard to focus on. The sooner we attempt to work on the hard issues the better as this leaves little breeding ground for resentment to build up, keeping our heart free of grievances.

2. Stop the superficial fixes - Instead, use each problem as a means for greater intimacy

As human beings we tend toward fixing what is not working with a strong sense of urgency. Problems make us uncomfortable. This is great for a problematic car, a difficulty at work or a needed repair around the house. But when it comes to relationships we can’t take the same simplistic approach. I tell my clients... READ FULL ARTICLE