3 keys to conflict resolution and healthy teamwork
He rose to his feet—the chair kicked out behind him. His faced flushed and red. His knuckles were white—his fingers spread-out and forcefully pressed on the wooden table. His body language screamed—the camel’s back is broken—this is the last straw. It was a showdown.
On the other side of the table was his “adversary.” Both men, snarling as if casted for a Hollywood OK Corral shootout scene—neither buckling from his position. Both believed they were in the right. The surrounding seated gents sat with amazement—waiting for the first to sling words.
I was seated and in awe. What just happened? Wasn’t this a friendly business meeting? Indeed. It was (supposed to be). And the aftermath was worse. The division from the argument caused deep wounds that were unable to be healed—one person quit, the other dejected, the rest mortified.
I’ll never forget that night—for many reasons.
If you’ve been in leadership for any length of time, you’ve witnessed conflict—maybe not fueled with that kind of emotion, but you have. Most leaders loathe committees and meetings, especially when there’s conflict.
How can leaders navigate the waves of turmoil to bring calm?
I’d like to share three helpful ways to ease conflict and cultivate teamwork.
1. Ease conflict with humility
The hall of fame football coach, Vince Lombardi stated, “Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.” Easing conflict is like cultivating teamwork it’s intentional and takes hard work.
Biblically speaking, there’s a reason why the Apostle Paul penned the words, “labors of love” (1 Thess. 1:3). The word labor denotes discomfort and exertion. Loving people is hard work—it’s difficult.
As leaders, we should seek humility—we don’t always have to be right. No one likes to work for the “my way or highway” person—those days are over. But it takes intentionality to diffuse a heated situation. Conflict should be diffused by thinking of the bigger picture—taking a step back—a few breaths—and speaking softly. That’s not weakness, but integrity. Becoming angered is only gasoline on a fire.
As the Proverb declares, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Pro. 15:1). Learning to work together—as a whole—takes an intentional labor of love. It seems that most “teams” have individual trailblazers that desire to lead every excursion. But, humility guides us through conflict—to think less of self and more of the unified whole.
2. Cultivate servant-like unity
There’s an old wives’ tale, “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family.” The church is the only organization on earth that collects diverse ethnic, cultural and social norms, behaviors, and dysfunctions, expecting the results to be harmonious.
If you’ve grown up with siblings, you know how difficult it can be to love them—life on life isn’t easy. Whether in business or non-profit, it becomes imperative to work with people that we may not like, or even dislike. I’ve found that the most negative people usually have something deeper going on—something that is hindering them from being nice, performing as a team-player, or “stabbing you in the back.” Serving the negative person is counterintuitive—but in the majority of the times, it works.
To build healthy leadership teams, intentionally cultivating a servant-like environment is essential. I heard a really good analogy of that cultivation. Philip Nation was discussing his book, Habits for Our Holiness. He described how we choose to pick up one of two washbasins in daily life: (1) the basin of servanthood, as Christ washed the disciples’ feet—leading by example, or (2) the basin of judgment, as Pilate washed his hands.
To cultivate healthy teams and resolve conflict, leaders should strive to carry the basin of servanthood—to serve with an attitude of unity. Whether organization, business, or non-profit, setting aside personal emotions for the good and unity of the whole amounts to everyone’s success.
Mostly, conflict occurs due to self-centeredness, ego, and pride. The “basin of servanthood” demolishes superiority complexes and creates a sense of unity among team-leaders.
3. Cultivate a unified vision and mission
Lastly, in any organization, conflict can be avoided by cultivating a unified vision and mission. A unified mission has every member of the team invested in the organization.
Some leaders desire to implement their own vision and mission—without consulting others. However, when a collaboration of leaders is invited into the vision and mission process, there is investment.
Cultivation is an intentional word. If you desire teamwork from your leadership—it begins with you.
While the aspect of beginning with collective cooperation can avoid later conflict, it may not help ease it. But, it does allow leaders to address conflict in a soft-spoken, collective, and in a calming reminder of the team’s initial agreement.
Leadership dissension can be catastrophic and toxic to any organization. It is the leader’s duty to cultivate deliberate unity, by serving, loving, and maintaining the focus of the vision and mission.
Lastly, conflict should never be avoided. When it appears, face it head-on. Rely on grace and humility. Think about the big picture—the vision and mission—and weigh the costs.