3 Keys to Building A Healthy Work Home

Headley Chambers, read the sign on the boss’s door. I steeled myself, exhaled, and knocked firmly. Six-foot-four, immaculately attired, and utterly professional, Headley cut an imposing figure as the door opened, but he welcomed me warmly and ushered me in. Sitting across the desk from him, I swallowed my doubts and asked for a promotion. I wanted to become a part-time supervisor.  

He eyed me thoughtfully and then asked the question I’d dreaded: “How long have you been here?”  

“One week,” I said, looking him in the eye. “But I can do the job.”   

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After getting out of the Air Force in ‘87, I found myself searching for any way and every way to make ends meet. Unloading packages from cargo trucks for 8 bucks an hour, three hours a night, between 11pm and 2am wasn’t going to pay for the most basic needs. I was working two other jobs just to survive. I needed a better path to a stable future. So, I went to see Headley Chambers.  

--  

“One week. But I can do the job.”  

Headley leaned backward. “One week!” he repeated, a mix of amused and astonished. “I can’t do that.” Sympathetic to my plight, he offered me a $1/hour raise, but I told him I was looking for a career move. My perspective was that I had to either move up or find another path. Headley’s perspective was that I still had things to learn…but he knew I worked hard, and he liked my confidence.  

Three days later, he called me in and told me a supervisor slot had opened. The job was mine.  

Over the next couple of weeks, Headley had me conduct “Talk, Listen & Act” (TLA) sessions—lunch conversations with every employee in my group. I embraced the task. First, it was a free lunch! But more than that, the company trusted me with their money, and I wanted to make that time count. I wanted to know those people so I could invest in their development at UPS, and I wanted them to know me so they would invest in mine.  

After reading my TLA write-ups, Headley called me back into the office. “You get it,” he said. “If you can continue at this pace and keep learning these things, you can grow here and have a home.” And with that, he began investing in my development, too.  

Back then, I didn’t even know what career possibilities existed, or what to do to reach them. But after that conversation, I realized what I wanted, and what I’d work hard to achieve: a home.  

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There’s a lot of cynicism about working for a company that calls itself a family, because in a lot of those companies, the relationship only goes one way. They expect employees to put their all into the company without returning the investment. But finding a work home shouldn’t be about long hours and hobnobbing with the boss. A work home is earned, not demanded. It grows organically rather than being established. And it only exists when investment goes both ways.   

Here are three takeaways I learned from Headley about building a strong work home:

1. Make decisions based on individuals, not situations.  

On the surface, a new employee asking to be promoted only one week into a job isn’t just audacious, it’s laughable. But Headley didn’t laugh at me. He evaluated the whole package: my background, my work ethic, my confidence. He might not have made the same decision for another person, but he decided I was worth a shot. I took that same philosophy to my TLA conversations with my reports, and to every leadership position I held after that.  

People we manage, just like people in our family at home, need to be treated as individuals. At work, my partners and I do what we can to take care of people based on their specific needs, whether that’s extra mentorship, flexibility due to their family’s needs, investment in a project, or anything else. But you can’t treat people the way they need to be treated unless you know them holistically.  

2. Talk, listen, and act. 

For many supervisors, TLAs were a perfunctory chore, a quick 30-minute “How’s everything?” and a one-page write-up to say “Just fine.” But I always found them highly valuable, even if at times they could be challenging. Associates who didn’t feel comfortable sharing feelings or “facts” they had pre-determined to be career-limiting or embarrassing often required several encounters to develop trust. When I put in more time, though, they felt safe enough to warm up, and our TLAs proved meaningful to both of us.  

However you do your version of TLAs at work, each part is vital. Leading the way by sharing about yourself signals to your team that they can feel secure in talking to you. Then you get an opportunity to listen and gain insight on what exactly is happening, good or bad, at the front lines of your business unit. But the most important part of a TLA is the “A.” If you commit to acting on a request, question or item, you MUST follow through. Fulfilling your commitment is what builds your employee’s confidence in you and deeper engagement in your work relationship. 

3. Provide ample opportunities for success and growth.  

When Headley promoted me, he gave me a shot, but it was my responsibility to prove I was worth the investment. The TLA assignment was a perfect chance to show that I was the kind of leader he wanted to develop. It wasn’t just about hitting my metrics—though I had plenty of those—it was about showing potential. It would have been easy to treat a TLA as just a free lunch, but my commitment to making them valuable showed Headley I was worth taking another chance on, and another, and another. He was willing to have my back as long as I kept growing.  

From Headley, I learned that when you give someone a chance, it's more than just a transaction—that’s not how successful relationships of any type work. Instead, as people prove themselves, give them new and engaging challenges so they can grow into better workers, teammates, and leaders. That’s how you communicate trust, respect, and loyalty to your employees. And it’s how you earn trust, respect, and loyalty from your team.  

When you think of home, what comes to mind? I think of a place run on strong communication and mutual respect, where people look out for one another, accept each other for who they are, and challenge them to be their best.

Sounds a lot like a great office, too. And it’s all based on one thing: a two-way investment, where each individual wants to be a part of something bigger, together. Avoid the trap of the “we’re a family”-type boss, and be more like Headley: build a home. Commit to your team, and they’ll commit to you. That’s how you build professional relationships that last a lifetime.  

From left:

John Sercu, me, Fred Michanie, and Headley Chambers, 2016

What was your first work home like, and how did you know you had found it?  If you’re still looking for one, what would make you feel at home? Let me know in the comments.