3 Keys for Authentic Networking

Does the thought of networking make you feel a little sick to your stomach? True Story: A few months ago, I found myself at a house party so overwhelmed that I ended up standing behind a large plant for part of the night avoiding people.?

Yes, really. (It’s okay to laugh—I am!)

You might think, "Wait, aren’t you an extroverted communication expert?"

Yes, but even I struggle with feeling connected—especially at networking events and parties.

There’s this little script that sometimes runs in my head: "I don't have anything to add here. They're going to think I'm weird."

For years, that voice held me back, keeping me on the sidelines. But with time, meditation, and coaching, I've learned to turn down its volume.

And here's the truth: I’m not alone. Many people—at all levels of professional success—grapple with these same doubts.

Just yesterday, I worked with a client, a Chief of Staff at a mid-sized multinational, who felt nervous about networking because he worried he wasn't "adding enough value."

During our role play, his anxiety led him to ask question after question, turning the conversation into an interrogation.?

While his curiosity was genuine, it left me feeling exhausted.

THE BIG PRINT: i.e. If you take one thing away from this post it’s that…

When we’re under pressure to "add value," we can forget that the greatest value is connection itself.

Instead of trying to impress, try this:

• Stay present instead of planning what to say next.
• Give space for the other person to ask questions.
• Seek common ground to spark a real connection.

TAKE IT FROM… Lama Yammine Hocks, ex-banker, founder and investor.

I met Lama at a conference in Vienna in 2023. I was struck by her ease of connecting with people at the conference, and since then by her ability to genuinely connect with people on Linkedin too.?

A few years ago I interviewed her about the art of networking, imposter syndrome, and confidence. When it comes to conferences, Lama stays focused on keeping connections authentic.

“In a conference situation, I do not force myself to talk with people that I'm not easily drawn to.” —Lama Yammine Hocks

It’s important to remember that when it comes to networking, the more curious you get about people, the better your networking will flow.?

Here’s a simple formula you can use when engaging in a networking conversation:

1 . Introduce Yourself - Note: You can swap #1 with #2.

2 . Establish a Point of Connection: compliment, noting something you can see, etc. - Eg. “I see you’re wearing a University of Michigan shirt. Did you go to school there?”

3 . Transition into a professional topic - Eg. “What brought you to work at X company / this conference?”

What about you? What’s your go-to strategy for establishing authentic connections when networking? I’d love to hear what’s working for you.

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