3 Insights I Gained About Myself On a 3 Day, Off-Grid Digital Detox Retreat

Last week I spent three days on a digital detox retreat, courtesy of the team at Unplugged (some of you may have seen the posts I did before I went and then when I got back). Many of you asked me to let you know what my experience of it was, and expanding on the post I did when I got back here goes:

When I was invited to stay at an Unplugged Digital Detox Retreat, my initial thought was that I wanted to go on my own. But never having done anything like that in a place so remote, I thought about taking someone with me because going on my own would take me way out of my comfort zone.

Not only was I apprehensive about staying somewhere so remote on my own, but as a Black woman, there was the added intersection of going to a remote place where I would probably not see other people that looked like me. This can make you feel a bit vulnerable.

I am used to being in spaces where I am the only Black person and if I had stayed in the village, I don’t think I would have felt like that. It was the thought of staying somewhere so remote and on my own that made me feel a bit apprehensive. Particularly as the cabin was in the middle of nowhere, meaning a long walk to the nearest village.

It has been a busy full-on year to date as my coaching business is at the busiest it has ever been since starting it almost 12 years ago, plus on top of this, I was studying for a master’s in Psychology and doing it full time.

I had also lost a very close family member at the beginning of the year, and I recognised how beneficial time out on my own in the countryside, completely switched off would have for my well-being. Having been given assurances about the security of the place, I decided to brave it and go alone.

I opted for the Pablo cabin in the Essex countryside, near the village of Finchingfield. There was no Wi-Fi, no TV, no Netflix, no smartphone. They provided an old style Nokia phone for emergencies, a Kodak instant camera with 10 images, a radio cassette player, board games and books. I also have an old Kodak digital camera that I took with me, and I was able to capture the experience on camera.

I made sure I packed enough food and drink so that I wouldn't have to go into the village. However, despite my initial apprehension, I did venture out to Finchingfield, the local village (when I realised I'd forgotten to pack some eggs) and I am glad that I did. Everyone that I passed along the 23 minute walk, greeted me and said hello, something you don't get from strangers in the densely populated London where I live.

My digital camera predates the selfie and the rear facing cameras we have on our smartphones, so trying to record myself and take selfies with it meant they came out a bit off-kilter.

In the village, I stopped for a coffee and sat outside observing village life, watching the world go by. The following day I walked to the village and again, stopped and had a coffee, and this time a slice of cake at the lovely Picture Pot Tea Room.

Over the three days I did lots of thinking and reflecting, and here are three reflections/insights I gained about myself:

1. I didn’t realise how digitally switched on I was until I switched off

My work requires me to be digitally switched on a lot. And because I love what I do, it often does not feel like work, so I was constantly either on my laptop or on my phone. There would be times when I would put my phone in relax mode, so I didn’t get interruptions, but the reality was, my phone had become like an extension of my hand.

Sometimes I would flit mindlessly through the different apps on my phone whether it be email, WhatsApp, LinkedIn, or other social media sites. At times these would be welcome distractions, at other times, a form of procrastination. I had also developed a bad habit of Netflix binge watching at night, as a way of unwinding and relaxing.

Switching off completely made me realise just how excessively being digitally switched on I had become. ?

2. Being constantly digitally switched on had affected my concentration and attention span

I used to love reading fiction, but over recent years, the only reading I did tended to be non-fiction. I would read books that helped me develop personally, spiritually, and professionally. Even then, there were many non-fiction books that I had bought in recent years, that I hadn’t got around to reading.

As someone who had initially hated reading e-books, the majority of the books that I had come to read were on Kindle. I rarely bought physical books anymore. One, because of space, and two, it had become so much easier to read them on a device, particularly when travelling.

I remember days gone by when reading a novel would be a form of relaxing for me and every now and then I would start to read one, but invariably would put it down and not pick it up for months.

A lot of my reading was done online, and I had come to notice that my concentration levels when reading were not what they used to be. Whilst being dyslexic probably played a part, this was particularly noticeable having returned to study.

One study looking at how the internet may be changing our cognition suggests that the internet has both short-term and long-term effects on attention and memory (the study also looked at social interactions).

The researchers found that the constant flow of online information encourages divided attention across multiple sources, leading to a decrease in sustained concentration. Also, that the internet's availability of vast information may affect memory by altering the way we retrieve, store, and value knowledge. ?

In those 3 days being digitally switched off, I read for hours at a time. I found myself absorbed in what I was reading, concentrating and attentive just like how it used to be.

3. Being digitally switched off improved my creativity and gave me mental clarity

As someone who loves to journal, my journaling had become rushed at times. Whilst on the digital detox retreat, I wrote pages and pages in my journal, reconnecting with my vision and what I want to do with my life.

It felt as if a fog (that I hadn’t realised had been there) had been lifted from my mind and I felt so much more mentally clearer. Not only did I do lots of reading, journaling, and walking in nature, but I also wrote the introduction and part of the first chapter of my next book (I want to find a publisher and get a book deal now).

Having enjoyed the peace and tranquility of the three days, I left the retreat feeling rested, refreshed, and recharged, and with a list of actions to put in place so I don’t become a slave to digital again. I recognise that this is easier said than done and I can see how easy it could be to get caught up and become overconsumed with it again.

It is a work in progress, but having experienced the positive, beneficial effects of the digital detox, it is something I want to experience again and again.

How much is your life consumed by being digitally switched on and what impact does it have for you if you have an overconsumption? Or do you ever have a digital detox, and if so, what is the experience like for you? Let me know below.

If you want to have an Unplugged Digital Detox experience, you can find out more here.

EDIT: Prompted by my good friend and fellow executive coach Claudia Crawley - Executive Coach, Anti-Racist Consultant who asked what I am doing to change things, and suggested I update you on progress in a couple of months, I have added this part in italics to include the actions I set myself to develop good digital habits.

It did cross my mind to include my list of actions, but I didn't. Doing so and then doing an update in a couple of months, would show whether I maintained things as well as hold me accountable.

I have reflected on why I didn't include them and I wonder whether not having done so is because subconsciously there is an element of me that thinks I will slip back, and not including them means no one will know ??.

Anyway, here they are:

• Not check my phone first thing on waking up in the mornings
• Increase the time not spent on my phone so that my screen usage decreases
• Make better use of the focus mode function on my phone
• Do my daily morning devotionals using a physical Bible instead of the Bible app so I am not tempted to check notifications on other apps
• Go for an hours walk in the park BEFORE I start my day (I did this daily in lockdown so I have proven to myself that it can be done)
• Go to bed by 10pm most nights during the week (unless I am out for the evening) and to sleep by 11pm (I was going to bed a lot later!) and read instead of watching Netflix, only watching it at the weekends.
• Increase the number of hours sleep I get a night. Doing the above action will automatically increase it.
• As much as I love my work... spend more time socialising and having fun
• Spend more time with family and friends

I will update you on my progress in a couple of months' time and have put a note in my calendar to remind me to do so.

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In the latest episode of the podcast, I spoke to Stephan Swiedner about psychological safety and using his own insights, puts the concept into perspective and further discusses how companies can create a culture that lets people feel that their voice matters, leverages people's differences and in turn enables each individual's unique skills and talents to be valued and utilised.