3 Hard Truths that make everything Easier

They say that the 'truth hurts', and so for a long time, in an attempt to be as 'truthful' as I could be, I made sure that it was delivered as 'definitively' as possible. In fact, I thought that the measure of how truthful and beneficial something was, was how painful it was to come to terms with (I was SO fun when I was younger.... NOT!!)

But I've grown up a bit since then and now realise that the truth is just the truth, and no matter how tough it is, is a blessing no-disguise.

The facts help. Even if they don't feel good in the moment, and so for today's #SaturdayServing, I'm going to share 3 of the truths that were the hardest for me to swallow, and how they made everything easier.

Truth No. 1: Everything in your life right now, good and bad, is on you

This one I hated, and found super hard to stomach... "What do you mean everything in my life is on me? I would say".

Sure - the good stuff, I'd be happy to take credit for, or at least accept that I was a contributor to those... but those tough things?...Nah...

What kind of person would that make me?

And anyway, that wasn't on me, that was on ...

Nope it WAS me.

It's all me.

The things I did or didn't do. The people I trusted, the signs I ignored. The bricks that I allowed to turn into walls in my way rather than steps up to a new level. The times I doubted myself rather than actually taking a leap

The excuses I made, the inaction I allowed, the boundaries I slacked on, the bad habits I didn't nip in the bud and the good habits I didn't protect.

It felt harsh... but life is harsh, and once I realised that it made everything better.

How it made things easier - that agency of this fact is so liberating.

Knowing that you are the captain of your ship means that you get the chance to steer it where matters to you. If everything in your life is on you, then that's the good as well as the bad, and given the incredible things that you have in your life and the many things you have to be grateful for, you have and incredible track record of producing some pretty amazing things.

It made me better to know that I controlled these fruits, and so my job was to plant and tend to better seeds. That I could do.

Truth No. 2: No one's coming to save you

This one was tough for me, especially when I went into a lifelong partnership. If you ever want to find out errors in your thinking around partnership and support - get into a business or life partnership (even better, get into one that's both).

This truth was tough, because making change is hard

And sometimes it feels like saving yourself is just too hard

But you don't want to deal with all the stuff that you're dealing with so where does that leave you?

I made the mistake in the past of believing that when I'm working in a team that everything was taken on as a team, but I soon learnt that this was not the best for the team, and certainly not the best for me.

Partnership is such a powerful thing, but it's also a highly misunderstood notion that causes so much heartache. Because people can often find themselves lost in the partnership, when they are needed more than ever to be themselves.

But the truth that no one's coming to save you literally saved my life and my sanity...

How it made things easier

Taking full responsibility in a partnership is tough - but is the best thing that will ever happen to you. And the most empowering too.

It was a rude awakening to realise that the liberation that comes from taking joint responsibility for getting into messes, and taking sole responsibility for getting out of the ones that have a negative impact on you.

It took me YEARS to get my head around it - if it went bad, WE did that... and now it's bad and I don't want to feel this way about things, or be in this situation, that it's MY responsibility to change my situation.

But in doing so, it puts you firmly back in the driving seat, and enables you to do the needful for you no matter the situation, or the path that got you there... you are able to get to the place you need.

And it's fun to realise that you are designed to be your own superhero - if you were ever in need of saving...

But that you're not (in need of saving that is) because nothings wrong... it's what's needed to make you better!

Truth No. 3:This is it!!

That's a particularly tough for a person with perfectionist tendencies... you kinda want some do-overs, or for everything to not be so messy...

But this is not a dress rehearsal.

This one wild and precious life is the only one we've got.

And it becomes really tough to face that when we think about how we treat the days and weeks we're given. Acting as if we're automatically granted more time in the future to do the things that we should be getting done now...

And yet - there is something so powerful and exciting about this truth that it never hurts for too long

How it made things easier

Never was a concept more powerful in helping you to pause and smell the roses. To appreciate the moment that we're in right now, and to place far more stock into the journey rather than merely obsessing over the destination.

By understanding that this is it, and that you won't get this moment back, it fills me with boldness, ,but also with gratitude, to know that I have things to savour and enjoy during this special and important time., and that I won't get another.

Knowing I may not get another, makes me live and appreciate it like I won't get another, so it changed the way I valued those moments, opportunities and made my life feel a little bit more wild and precious.

I squander time less. I complain less. I stress less. I regret less - all because I know that this is it, so what's the point of spending this moment mucked up by some others...

It leaves a purer runway for using this moment as it should be and enabling me to be both focused on the present and hopeful about the future.

The truth therefore doesn't always hurt, but one thing that I can say is that the good book is right - 'Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free'.

I've since some to find liberation in so many other truths (like I don't know what I'm doing and neither does anyone else!) over the years. What truths have you found liberation and ease in, as they have taken root in your life?

I'd love to know, please share in the comments.