3 habits lawyers can use to boost their EQ

This is part two of the series: ‘3 skills lawyers will desperately need in the next 5 years.’ Check out part one here.

Foundations of law, torts, Crim, Contracts, Civil Procedure, Admin law, Constitutional law, Real property, Equity, Evidence…

Emotional Intelligence?

You won’t find EQ in a G-8 Law School curriculum (and only God can help you if it’s on your resume).

But in the consumer-centric, demand-driven legal marketplace of the post-COVID world, clients don’t want Legal Rain Man. They don’t care about your capacity for recalling legislation or the latest High Court decision.

Clients have iPhones, a tight budget, and plenty of options. Many of your clients are millennials, and they want hugs! (Thanks Ida).

The lawyers of the future are emotional wizards who solve real-world problems, not legal problems. So in part two of the series we’re talking about feelings - and how lawyers can get some.

EQ is so 2025

EQ isn’t cool in law land. IQ takes all the spotlight.

The legal profession covets traditional notions of intelligence such as memory, retention, recall, problem-solving, and logic. 

Lawyers celebrate the Harvey Specter's of the world because legal training has emphasized the cool, analytical, and detached lawyer archetype over the engaged, emotional, service-oriented professional.

IQ is cool too though

Now don’t get me wrong - the law is full of intelligent people and for excellent reasons. The practice of law is difficult, requires intellectual rigour and favours those who can process and synthesise complex information.

But IQ will not make you a brilliant lawyer in the coming years. You already have the requisite brain power if you made it into law school and got a job in the legal industry. You're now surrounded by thousands of other lawyers with amazing minds.

To stand out from the rest, you must meet the demands of your clients by understanding their needs, managing their problems, and focuing on what matters to them. Basically, you must be a lawyer with EQ.

The case for EQ

Emotionally intelligent lawyers are better at getting and keeping clients. People with high EQ outperform their peers, get the best promotions and the highest bonuses. 

If that’s not enough, here are three more reasons EQ is important for lawyers:

(1) Clients want counsel

In the age of social media, there are no ivory towers, and clients now demand empathy and personal connection from their lawyers. Clients ask lawyers to solve business problems, relationship problems, and money problems - not legal problems. 

Lawyers with the ability to make their clients feel heard are infinitely better placed to counsel their clients and walk with them through their issues.

(2) Top lawyers have great relationships

Developing your EQ goes hand in hand with building better relationships. The most successful law firm Partners are known for their network. As clients become less loyal and more legal service providers emerge, deep relationships will be even more rare and valuable in the legal industry. 

Plus, legal leaders who build great connections with their staff will have stronger legal teams, making them better able to weather the storms to come.

(3) As tech becomes intelligent, humanity becomes more important

In the next 5 years, legal technology will advance along the current path of eliminating mundane, routine, repeatable tasks that suck time away from capable lawyers. Increasingly intelligent legal technology will take over the traps of legal practice - from basic drafting to filing and matter management.

This will open opportunities for emotionally intelligent lawyers to better connect with their clients and provide strategic, commercial advice that makes a meaningful impact on important outcomes.

How to become an emotional expert

You probably know somebody with high emotional intelligence. They pick up on your emotions before you realise you’re wearing them. High EQ’ers are also aware of their own emotions and great at managing them.  

It’s easy to think these traits are innate to those born with the touchy feels. But you can build EQ, and it’s simple. Ultimately, increasing your EQ is about becoming more aware of the impact of emotions. 

Here are three ways lawyers can develop emotional intelligence that benefits their practice:

(1) Talk about emotions

Lawyers generally don’t share how they feel or ask others how they feel. (Perhaps they’re afraid of the results?)

But tapping into your client’s emotions is the highway to better connections. Whether it’s in a dispute or about a commercial contract, asking “how do you feel about this?” or “how did that make you feel?” is a surefire way to tap into your client’s deepest needs and build a better relationship.

(2) Practice active listening

Emotionally intelligent people aren’t just waiting for their turn to speak in a conversation. They listen for clarity. They ensure they understand what has been said, ask follow-up questions, and pay attention to body language and other non-verbal cues.

Lawyers who practice active listening show they respect the person speaking and, as a result, can respond to the client’s problem meaningfully.

(3) Journal

Many famous lawyers, barristers, and judges are prolific journalers. The ability to reflect on yourself, your experiences, and how you felt is a superb way to build emotional intelligence because it reinforces self-awareness. 

I have found the Morning Pages/Brain Dump method to be helpful for journaling. My wife is yet to tell me I’ve improved my EQ, though...

Where to learn more

If you want to learn more about building EQ, here are some resources I've found helpful:

• Heard of the T-Shaped Lawyer? The Delta Model is on the next level. Built to capture the competencies of the 21st Century Legal Professional, the Delta model shows that there are three key areas that lawyers must develop: The Law, Business & Operations, and Personal Effectiveness Skills. More info here and here.
• ?A great article on EQ from Thrive Global here and;
• 'What's A Lawyer Now?' by Mark A Cohen, an excellent article about the distinction between the practice of law and the business of law.

If you liked this post, you can find more about my work here:

• Check out The Leading Lawyer Project for interviews with top lawyers and legal leaders about how to be successful in the legal industry and;
• Have a squiz at my Medium Blog for weekly posts about law, success, careers, and happiness.