3 Goal-Setting Mistakes (And How to Fix It Today)

3 Goal-Setting Mistakes (And How to Fix It Today)

* Estimated Reading Time: 4 minutes

Setting goals is easy. Setting goals in a way that will empower and move you is an entirely different story. We all know that in February, most of the goals we set at the beginning of the year will be forgotten, and we will only think about goals again next year. For me, this pattern just represents “The joy of being human!” and we all are. Still, with my clients, I will talk about goals all year long; they will not forget them; they will intentionally remember, act, measure, achieve, celebrate, and refine.

Before we review or supercharge a goal, we need a goal. The SMART framework is a great start. Define your goal in a specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound way. If you do only that, I guarantee you are ahead of most people. Congrats! If you do it because you want to and not only because your company tells you to do it, double congratulations. Now, you are in a selected group that lives life intentionally. Way to go! If you don’t do it, now is the time to start. You are reading this article for a reason; your timing is perfect! Congrats!????

[The Mistakes]

Here are 3 common mistakes in goal setting:?

1) Lack of clarity

The goal is defined, and you have no idea what it means or how to identify if you achieved it. It sounds basic, and yes, it is basic, and it happens frequently. If you do it, you are not alone.

2) Make your goal immutable

You define, you get obsessed, and you are attached in the way that it must happen. You will only be happy when it happens exactly how you defined it.?

3) It becomes a task and a burden.?

It is heavy for you to accomplish and you only do it because you said you were going to do it.?

Let’s explore a few examples that were covered in coaching sessions.?

“I want to deepen my relationship with my partner.”

If I ask what a deep relationship looks like to ten people, I will get ten different answers and definitions. Even for the same person, the definition can change as we evolve and become a new version daily.?

“Build strong physical and mental health.”

When I asked what a strong mental health looks like, the answer I got was: “That’s a hard one to define; that’s a problem.”.

[The Inflection Point]

We both laughed. At this moment, my client realized what he had been doing with him for years. It was never enough, and without a definition, it will never be. That’s why he could never achieve and kept himself in the “not enough” land. If you recognize yourself in this pattern, you may be a high-performance.

[The Solution]

Now that you know what not to do, let’s explore three ways to refine and supercharge your goals.?

First, your goal must be crystal clear what success looks and feels like.?

Second, your goals need to excite you. Yes, let’s bring emotions to the equation and your life. It is a game-changer.

Third, allow life to surprise you. You act and do your work in the best way possible and let life do its own. In a nutshell, you control what you can, knowing that a lot of things are outside your control.

I understand that sometimes it is hard to define how to measure some goals, and from my experience, there are always creative ways to define them.

In our example of deepening the relationship, my client recognized that what he was looking for was feeling connected, present, and appreciative. Experiencing at least one magical moment per month where he intentionally creates the opportunity and remains open to how it can be even better than his initial plans.

[Bonus]

As an extra challenge, I invited my client to think about how he could experience his relationship getting stronger daily. Instead of waiting for one magical moment to happen monthly, what could he do to build momentum and enjoy his relationship daily?

His face lighted up, and he shared plenty of ideas. A few were easy, and he could do it in less than 5 minutes. Now, he is set to succeed, and his relationship will inevitably get deeper.

[Invitation]

Your turn now. Choose one of these questions and enjoy your reflection and insights!?

  • Which goal can you define for your week, month, quarter, or year?
  • What goal would you refine and make more compelling and clear?
  • What is one thing you are fixed on and could benefit from some trust and awareness?

I would like to hear your thoughts and/or what makes a difference when you do your reflection.?

Happy goal-setting!

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