3 Forgotten Ways To Listen Well When Talking With Prospects

Listening is hard work. It takes energy. It can literally be exhausting. It’s no surprise that many sellers struggle in this area. I don't know about you, but I don't think it should be this way. In fact, I think it can be just the opposite. It can feel good to listen. As a bonus, it can help you sell more effectively.

Following are three ways to listen well and that will make you a more effective seller.

ONE?–?Recognize the urge?– you know that urge you have to talk? It wells up in you. You have an answer, or an idea, or an anecdote you just have to share. Perhaps you lean forward, gesture with your arms and out it comes. You interrupt your prospect or go a bit of a rant.

Other times the urge builds slowly. You stop listening and start thinking about what you want to say. Or you start noodling on an idea that was triggered. In short, you’ve left the conversation in your mind. Your prospect notices this.

You can learn to watch out for these signs and recognize the urge to speak.

Once you recognize it, you can begin to replace it with graciousness. Graciousness isn’t a word that's used much in selling, but it should be. It means practicing courtesy.

It does take practice, but it’s so easy to get started. Your friends, family, and colleagues all make great test subjects. In a short period time, you’ll be a much better listener. It will feel good too knowing that you’re creating a safe space for others to talk. My mentor once said to me after patiently listening to me ramble on, “Ted, you know that urge you have to talk? “

“YES!” I blurted out.

“Remember the person you’re talking to has that same urge – let them have it.”

Practice graciousness.

TWO?–?Build In Pauses?– the simplest thing you can do is pause. It’s not the easiest because many of us struggle when there’s dead air, but it is the simplest. A sticky note on your computer screen reminding you to pause is good, but lasting change requires you to build pauses into your everyday communication.

How do you pause? If you’re a Hamilton fan you can “talk less, smile more.” That is, sometimes just smiling and nodding your head encourages you to pause and listen and for your prospect to talk. If you’re face-to-face, putting your hands behind your back (“parade rest” in military terms) will encourage you to listen and your prospect to talk.

Pausing between sentences even for one second provides room for your prospect to interject. You want them to interject. What they have to say is most important. Talking more slowly encourages prospects speak up as well. It’s perfectly fine when a prospect interrupts you. It’s not okay to interrupt a prospect.

Build in your pauses to your conversations, e.g., “Let me pause here. How is this sitting with you, or am I missing the mark?” Or, “Let’s pause here, can you tell me more about that?” Don’t run through a bunch of slides, or software, or ideas, and then ask, “Any questions?” Keep your monologues under two minutes.

Your context and where you are in the sales process with dictate best practices. Wherever you are, it feels good to create a safe place to allow your prospect to elaborate and for you to listen.

Build in pauses to create psychological safety.

THREE?–?Ask Good Questions?– good questions do four things that help you to listen. One, they engage your prospect to be an active participant in the conversation so they start talking. Two, they allow your prospect to take ownership of their journey. Three, they create a safe place for your prospect to expand on their situation. Four, they provide information for you to better help your prospect.

What’s a good question? Here’s a few examples:

• In what ways has this post helped you, or did I miss the mark?
• I appreciate that, can you tell me more…?
• How have these three listening suggestions landed with you, or did I just waste two minutes of your time?
• What else would you add to these suggestions?
• Can you envision adopting any of these listening techniques in your context, or is this not what you had in mind?
• What’s one thing that stuck out to you in this post?
• When you imagine being a great listener, what comes to mind for you?

These questions invite discussion and engagement. Take what you like and leave the rest. The last thing I want to do is assume that what I’m offering is what you’re looking for. I can’t know that. So, just like when talking to a prospect, it’s better to learn to facilitate a safe environment by asking questions that help your prospect talk – and you to listen.

Ask good questions that encourage engagement and help you to listen.

In summary…

To listen well:

1. Resist the urge to speak – practice graciousness.
2. Build in pauses to your communication – create a safe place for others.
3. Ask good questions that engage your prospects – then listen.

Prospects appreciate it when you listen. It shows that you care.

It feels good to listen.

PS?- I’m finishing up a book on sales. It’s a little different than traditional sales books so it may not be for you. But if interested, visit?FeelGoodAboutSelling.com