???? 3 Essential Self-Talk Techniques to Boost Leadership Performance

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All of us live in more than one world??. The world outside is a whole of sensory experiences; the world within is where our thoughts, dreams ??, and emotions reside. Remarkably, about 80% of our waking time is spent communicating with the external ???world—whether interacting with others at home, collaborating with colleagues at work, leading our teams, or connecting through technology like emails, video calls, and social media. But the inner world is equally fascinating. On average, we experience around 60,000 thoughts daily ??, translating to roughly one thought per second. However, this rate fluctuates throughout the day, with periods of more intense thinking and times of relative quiet.

?Our inner communication takes various forms:

??Self-Talk: We spend an estimated 70% of our waking hours in internal dialogue, shaping how we perceive ourselves and our experiences.

??Mind-Wandering: Engaging in daydreams, problem-solving, or reflecting on past and future events occupies 30-50% of our waking hours.

??Cognitive Load: This encompasses all our mental activities such as self-reflection, decision-making, and problem-solving, which continually shape our internal experience.

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Given that around 70% of your time is spent in self-talk, have you ever stopped to reflect ?? on the quality of your internal dialogue and its impact on your life? Our self-talk reflects our values, beliefs, and references created based on our experiences and cognitive distortions—like generalizations, deletions, and twists in perception.

The pressure is immense in a leadership role, especially at the CEO or CXO level. Every decision and move is scrutinized, often leaving little room for error. The stakes are high—whether it's driving revenue growth ??, enhancing operational efficiency, managing high attrition rates, or preventing team burnout ??. Amid these challenges, your self-talk can profoundly impact your leadership effectiveness.

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At this level, leaders may find themselves grappling with negative self-talk like:?

??"I'm responsible for so much—what if I fail?"

??"Am I really making the right decisions, or am I just hoping for the best?"

??"I should have seen this issue coming—why didn’t I?"

??"Why can’t I handle everything as smoothly as others seem to?"

??"I’m stretched too thin—how can I keep up without letting something slip?"

??"What if I don’t have what it takes to turn this around?"

??"The board will lose confidence in me if I don’t deliver results soon."

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Negative self-talk might seem insignificant, but research shows it can profoundly affect motivation ?and performance ??. It not only undermines your drive but also exacerbates stress and anxiety, diminishes self-esteem and creativity, and impairs cognitive function.

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3 Essential Self-Talk Techniques to Boost Leadership Performance?

1??*Shift your Focus –

Shift your focus towards where you want to go, not what you fear. When you fixate on what's not working, what you're not achieving, or where you feel incapable, you inadvertently lead yourself into an unresourceful and limited ? mindset. This focus amplifies feelings of overwhelm, frustration, disappointment, and powerlessness, making it hard to see any path forward.

To break free from this cycle ?, start asking yourself powerful ????, solution-oriented questions that redirect your attention from what's lacking to what’s possible. Doing so opens yourself up to new opportunities and begins moving towards the outcomes you truly desire.

?Imagine if, instead of asking, " I should have seen this issue coming—why didn’t I?" you shifted the question to, "What can I learn ?? from this situation?" or "What is good about this situation and how can I turn this around?" This simple change in focus can transform a challenge into an opportunity. You will start feeling eager, energetic, and curious, which may not happen in the first instance; however, through constant effort, you will start noticing the shift. Additionally, how you respond to a situation can shift the mindset of your team, encouraging them to view the problem from a fresh perspective.

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2??*Choose your words wisely -?

Our language shapes us. As Tony Robbins puts it, “The words you consistently choose shape your destiny.” ??The words you habitually use influence how you communicate with yourself and your overall experience.

Imagine losing a client because a team failed to deliver on a promise, and you reflect on how you should have followed up more effectively. If you berate yourself with, “How enraged I am with myself, and how could I be so stupid ????♂? and neglectful?” how might that impact your self-view and confidence in that moment?

Contrast that with asking yourself, “I am a bit annoyed with how things turned out. How could I have been more proactive in managing this situation?” This approach encourages constructive reflection and focuses on actionable improvements.

Expanding your vocabulary can open doors to new emotions and experiences. Reflect on the words and statements you frequently use in self-talk and interactions with others—those that may disempower you and contribute to a negative state. Identify three disempowering words you commonly use and replace them with more empowering alternatives to transform your experience.

For example, instead of saying, “I am highly upset with myself,” try, “I am somewhat concerned about this situation.” This simple shift ?????? in language can lead to a more positive and constructive outlook.??

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3??**Change the narrative from “me and I” to “you and your” –

Studies reveal that people who engage in “second-person” self-talk (e.g., “You can do this!”) or refer to themselves by name (e.g., “Great job, Kriti!”) instead of using “first-person” self-talk (e.g., “I’m doing a great job”) tend to perform better under stress. Specifically, those who were guided to practice second-person self-talk:?

• Recovered more quickly from social stressors
• Made stronger first impressions on others
• Excelled in public speaking challenges
• Viewed daunting tasks as opportunities rather than threats

The research found that peers rated leaders who used "you" pronouns in their inner dialogue-less likely to derail. In contrast, those who relied on first-person “I” pronouns received lower performance ratings from their superiors and were seen as more likely to derail by their colleagues.

This simple shift in pronoun usage underscores the power of positive self-talk. Addressing yourself in the second person, creates a psychological distance that allows for greater objectivity. This approach provides an almost effortless method for regulating emotions and maintaining self-control, both of which are critical during challenging times.

(**Adapted from the article “How to Harness the Power of Positive Self Talk” by the Center for Creative Leadership.)

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"You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." — Louise Hay

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Many people around the world believe that significant effort ????♂?and time ?are necessary to create a meaningful shift in behavior. This belief often stems from the idea that deeply ingrained habits and mindsets are difficult to change and require a sustained commitment to alter. However, remember that even the smallest shifts can lead to profound changes. It starts with believing in the possibility of change and then taking those first simple steps to embrace new behaviors. The ripple ??effect can be life-changing.

Power of ‘Positive Self-talk’ to you!??

Keep smiling and Keep shining…??

*Source: Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within

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??Are you a business leader driven for success but feel your best is yet to come? Imagine being at your ?peak performance every day, free from self-doubt and limitations, and ??leading yourself and your team with courage and clarity. It's possible!

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