3 Essential Needs in Life: Love, Purpose, and Expression

I recently heard an expert say the fundamental needs of life were love and purpose.?

That might be a simplification, but if one is going to boil human existence down to just two things, I could almost agree...

If I could propose one more.??

Expression.?

Whether it’s expression of love or expression of purpose, in my professional life, I have witnessed, and been engaged with the human need to express oneself for nearly three decades.?

Whether it was teaching in a high school in rural Japan, where all the students wore strict uniforms, adhered to strict schedules, and studied rigorously, and yet longed to express themselves differently than their peers, or it was interviewing people in the community I grew up in about their children’s achievements, the educational system, or their community cause of choice, everyone was looking for a way to tell their story.?

They wanted to find the words to express something deep and true.?

They wanted to convey their perspective.?

They wanted to be seen.?

They wanted to feel like their story was being told.?

And yet, the vast majority of people I have worked with as a teacher, reporter, editor, publisher, PR agent, corporate communications executive, author, speaker or brand strategist have struggled to find the words to express.?

What a struggle.?

I find that consistent desire to express oneself to be fascinating. Indeed, it is one of the

critical, momentous fascinations of my life.?

I muse about where expression comes from, why it matters so much, and why people struggle so persistently to do it to their own satisfaction.

It’s true that some people are gifted in this realm, (and perhaps I am one of them) and some people struggle here. And many, many people fall in the middle, sometimes able to conjure the words they want, and other times at a loss to describe how they feel.

Those who have these gifts may have an intrinsic ability to translate the experiences, emotions and nuances of the nonverbal into words. But they also work at it.

They study people, listen deeply, they write in and out of their professional lives, they read and are students of language, and psychology and human behavior.?

But even if you identify as a person who struggles to express, I believe the drive to express still exists, and persists, throughout your life.?

I often think of my father-in-law when I consider expression. Sadly, I only knew him for about four years before he died. In that time, I never had a deep conversation with him. (And I am a lover of deep conversations.) He did not often initiate conversations. He would chime in, but said little.?

While he was not talkative, he was kind, warm, loving and had an emotional presence that was almost palpable to anyone in his vicinity. If he locked his gaze on you, you felt that gaze to your bones.?

I wonder if he had a desire to express more. He took a lot of himself, his stories, his history, his feelings, to his early grave.?

Being an expressive person, considering that fate almost makes me hyperventilate with fear. I can’t imagine doing that. And yet, for him, maybe it was just fine. I think there were memories, feelings, thoughts inside of him he felt did not need to come into contact with air. Perhaps they were too combustible, too robust, complex or too painful to hit oxygen.

These days, expression is more common, and more acceptable in our society. (In his time, and circumstances, it was not.)?

But we rush through it.

We demand the ability to express right now.

We want to say the perfect thing – in this moment.?

We want to take what we feel in our bodies and put it out into words.?

But we give ourselves very little time to do the prep work of expression. Maybe we don’t even know what the prep work of expression is.?

Over the years, I’ve found these ten practices to be supportive in generating expression:

• Slowing down
• Getting quiet
• Listening deeply
• Being wildly curious
• Making notes
• Waging wonder with the world
• Expanding my emotional vocabulary
• Considering fully
• Making time to craft our expression
• Drafting without judgment

(If you’re interested in knowing more about each of these, I can post more, I’ll post more, please let me know in Comments.)

You get the drift.

These practices run at a different speed than are demands for expression. It’s slower, more deliberate, more centered.?

Love is work. Purpose is work. And expression is work, too.?

But they come with such reward. The kind that make the brutal work of life worthwhile.?

The drive to express has given us dance and music, and art, and literature and architecture, and design and theater, and philanthropy and science, and philosophy and basically everything under the sun.

So yes, life is about Love. And Purpose. And Expression.?

To that, I agree.?

As an extension of my commitment and pursuit of expression, next month my team and I are launching a 12-week creative cohort called SparkLab. Its intention is to give you a chance to do the above, to reconnect with your spark, and to create pieces of expression you are excited to share. Maybe you’re stuck in your content creation. Maybe you’re a staff of one and need some support to write and post meaningful content, or maybe, as a writer, you’re longing for a circle of creative encouragement. Whatever the case, I invite you to learn more about SparkLab, and consider joining us here.?