The 3 Essential Keys to Happiness

Jennifer remembers the moment she taught herself that achieving meant happiness.?

She was in the fifth grade, and she and some of her friends were separated into an “accelerated” group. It felt good to be a part of a group labeled as “smart, gifted, talented.”

She wanted to feel that way every day.

She spent her life outworking everyone else and landed a top job with a prestigious firm in town. She was a member of the top associations and an active board member at renowned organizations, rubbing shoulders with other motivated, high-impact leaders. She married an amazing man, had two beautiful children, and had a stunning home where she could entertain her friends.

From the outside, everything looks perfect. She has a loving family, a large home and is recognized by her peers as one of the rising stars in her industry. Sound familiar??

After two decades of working with “Jennifers,” I can tell you what follows them every single day: fear.

Fear of being overwhelmed

Life is significantly more complicated with every achievement – increased bills, meetings, direct reports, and clients that are constantly vying for your time.

Fear of losing

No matter what you achieve, it will always seem like someone else is living life better. Comparison is what the American economy is built on.

Fear of abandonment

If I don’t continue to perform and work, then someone else will be more valuable, and all of my success will be gone.

Fear of a purposeless existence

If I’m not achieving, I have no purpose.

Most professionals enjoy building their careers, making more money, and achieving recognition. Eventually, they all conclude that none of these accomplishments is worth the effort if they’re not enjoying the journey.

This begs the question... What are the key factors that help you find more joy along the journey?

I’ve been obsessed with this question for more than a decade. I created an assessment called The Achiever’s Compass? based on my two decades of experience. More than 1,500 professionals in more than 20 industries have taken it. Here’s what we found:?

• 98% struggle to live in the moment.
• 89% are unable to turn work off at the end of the day.
• 87% constantly compare their achievements to those of their peers.
• 83% feel every achievement and promotion only adds more stress.
• 70% are unsure if they have a positive impact on their company or community.

It can be difficult to realize that the perfect life you planned isn’t yielding the happiness you taught yourself it would. However, reflecting on your path is a healthy (and usually uncomfortable) process. I’ve had this wake-up call a handful of times in my life. Each time, I’ve searched my soul to figure out what was most important in my life.

I hate to admit this, but at one point, the most important factor was income. The short-term win felt good for a while, but it only led to more stress and worry long-term. I found that no matter how much I achieved, satisfaction from money and status was fleeting.

Over many years of researching and testing this idea of happiness/purpose/meaning, I discovered some secrets. These secrets are tactics you can put into place today that will help you on the path toward enjoying your journey.

Here are the three “buckets” that move the needle on happiness and joy in your life. And, sorry, but no, none of these items can be “achieved” or “checked off” in a nice, neat spreadsheet organized by priority and filtered by the deadline and owner.?

If you’re up for the challenge, let’s dive in.?

Purpose

We are wired differently. Your happiness is impacted by the amount of time/energy you’re able to spend on the activities that fit your unique skills/abilities.

A key part of identifying your purpose is to recognize what season you’re in. We can’t all quit our jobs and move to Ecuador to open up an orphanage. However, if something is stirring in you to try something new, take the opportunity to try that thing, either through opportunities within your company, volunteer work, or hobbies.?

It’s okay if the ah-ha moment doesn’t happen immediately. For the majority of us, it happens over many years of trial and error. Recognize that’s part of the human experience.?

Well-Being

Committing time and energy to your health will significantly reduce your stress and increase your energy level. Your satisfaction with life is built upon a foundation of physiological and psychological health. Without both, everything else is irrelevant.

In terms of physical health, the busier we get, the harder it gets to eat right. The research is mounting on the importance of the food that we eat and how it impacts our brains, emotions, and how we view the world. Make health a priority, even if it means making the simple choice to eat more food that goes bad (i.e. whole foods) and “close the kitchen” two hours before you go to bed. Trust me. You’ll be amazed at how much better you function with simple adjustments you can sustain over time.?

Psychological health is getting more attention. And we’re finally starting to recognize the negative impacts of devices. Again, simplicity is the key. Take all social media off the homepage of your phone and eliminate your notifications. Better yet, turn your phone off (yes, it has an off button).?

Relationships

Most people struggle with this one. The good news is that small improvements will deliver huge benefits! The research is clear; you can bear almost any challenge if you’ve spent time building meaningful relationships with the people you love the most.?

The first step is recognizing that some relationships are more important than others. This might feel harsh, but the truth is, that your time is limited, and you can’t spend time with everyone. Do you know who the top 10 people in your life are? How will you make time for them this week/month??

A community of people is essential to your resiliency. Life’s path can change in a matter of moments. Who will walk that path with you?

Remember: real, life change doesn’t start with a drastic change. Authentic change grows from a tiny mental shift that you choose to act on today.?

And it will be uncomfortable at times. But, it’s worth it.

The first step is being aware that there’s an issue. Congratulations if you’re there! Now it’s time to take the second step: understanding exactly where you need to improve.?

Take The Achiever’s Compass? . This 3-minute assessment is built on my two decades of helping high-impact leaders get more joy. You’ll get a customized report with simple tactics personalized to your life that will help you refocus on the areas that need the most attention.?

Thanks for letting me be a part of your journey!?

—CJ?