3 Easy Ways to Change the Results You Get
Denise Hedges
? ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) ? Speaker Coach ? Keynote Speaker ? Master Business Development & Marketing Coach ?
There are times when we’re in physical, mental/emotional, and behavioral states that aren’t doing us any good or, at the very least, are suboptimal.? As a life coach, a big part of my job is helping people improve their physical and emotional state and behave more advantageously, so they can be happier, more productive, and simply get more of what they want out of life.?
That process involves change.? And change doesn’t come about without two things … a recognition that change is needed and the willingness to actually do what’s necessary to effect it.
Let’s say you’re angry.?
That isn’t always bad, because anger is a step up on the emotional scale from discouraged and hopeless.? But if you’re angry and it’s not serving you … as in you’re “drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” … you have to be able to shift that energy to something more positive.? You have to be able to change your emotional state.
Similarly, if your beliefs about something, such as your ability to find a partner or get healthy or start your own business, aren’t supremely positive, you can’t exactly expect yourself to charge ahead with confidence.? Both your behavior and your physical state are negatively affected.?
You can just see confidence … or lack thereof … in people’s “body-language” and speech … as well as their more conscious actions.
Same for behaviors. If what you’re doin’ ain’t workin’, try something else. ?And that might involve creating a more positive behavioral “state.”
The bottom line is that if a shift is gonna happen, we have to cause it to happen.
But how do we do that?
Cleverly.? That’s how.?
By effecting change in one of the other states.
For example, if you’re distressed about your ability to lose weight, concentrate at least as much on upgrading your thoughts and beliefs as you do on the physical issues directly.
If you’re down and discouraged or simply feeling flat and unmotivated, change your physical state.? Exercise hard.? Grin.? Laugh.?? Play with a puppy.? Jump up and down, clap your hands, whoop, and holler.? Go all Tony Robbins.? Because when you’re in a positive physical state, it’s really hard to stay in a depressed mental/emotional state … or at least as deeply anchored in one.?
And when it comes to behavioral habits/tendencies … which I’m loosely calling states here … let’s use the example of people who dread “public speaking.”
If they’ve never had a positive experience, they can access a positive mental state by recalling a successful experience from some other area of life, such as athletics or academic achievement … or maybe outsmarting the system in some ingenious way … to help them get more comfortable, confident, and capable under stress.
So … Your physical state affects your mental/emotional state.? Your mental/emotional state affects your physical state.? Both affect your behavior.? And your behavior … successful or unsuccessful … affects what you think and feel, as well as your physical state. (Are you smiling or frowning?? Are your shoulders slumping or is your head held high?)
What I’m describing here is a cybernetic loop, where each of the elements in the mix is affecting the others via feedback loops.
But you don’t have to go that deep in terms of intellectual understanding.
It’s enough to know that if you do X, Y happens.?
If you change the way you think, it’ll change your behavior.? If you change how you’re sitting, standing, moving, speaking … even breathing … you will change how you feel.? If you perform well, it affects your beliefs about your capabilities and makes you puff out your chest a little.
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Why?? Who knows?? It’s just the way we’re wired.?
By the way, this is at the heart of what’s called “neuro-linguistic programming” (NLP). ??
What’s interesting is that unlike most “psychologists,” the practitioners of NLP aren’t concerned with the why.? They’re concerned with finding out what you have to do to achieve Y.? They’re trying to parse the “structure of magic” to use their phrase.
Changing your states in the way I’ve described works.? It helps you get the results you’re looking for.? It helps you get Y.
And that’s what we want, isn’t it??
So, don’t stay stuck in a state that isn’t workin’ for ya.?
Employ the magic and enjoy a happier, more productive, more satisfying life.
Love,
Denise
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About the Author: Denise Hedges is a business development coach and speaker coach with over 30 years experience in sales and marketing. Denise has helped thousands of women business owners, nationally and internationally, move past any uncertainty or fear they have about sales and marketing, so they can attract more clients and make more money!
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Neurochemistry backs this up 110%, and I love the pingback to NLP. The WHY really doesn't matter. I've been getting back in touch with my public speaker lately, and your article speaks directly to this inner remediation. He (public speaking me) started hiding under a rock over 10 years ago and now seems blocked by self-doubt. But if I access 1-on-1 Ian, who has inspired meaningful change in many lives over cups of coffee and zoom calls, even recently, then I can use that imprint to put my pinky toe back in the pool of public speaking. ??