Critical Commitments for Developing Your Leadership Character

Becoming a great leader is a constant journey that starts from within. 

It’s the quality of the individual leaders character that holds the greatest potency. 

While character building isn’t easy, it is a set of consistent behaviors and approaches that each and every one of us can harness and build upon.

I personally feel that there are three critical commitments that need to take place to begin to establish leadership character:

1.  Become Trustworthy

I've found one of the most prominent & frustrating things that affect trust in a relationships is to  over promise, under deliver. 

Expectations not met can be frustrating, even more so in a work scenario, when you have a deadline that is broken due to another’s lack of follow through.  Eventually it takes its toll on a relationship.  It's really imperative to be sure to follow through with your word.  As a leader, not only does it hurt the influence we have with our colleagues, this type of negative behavior can also wreak havoc on our internal self-trust thermometer. In other words, eventually affecting our ability to follow through with other areas of our life that require inner self-discipline & self-esteem. 

Trust is the foundation of all relationships, including the relationship with yourself.  

Am I guilty of it? Of course! I’m actually a ‘YES’ girl, which gets me in trouble. I have a knack for getting so excited about something, and truly mean to do it. Then as reality sets in later, as to what that commitment actually looks like, I've completely changed my enthusiasm and positive attitude.  This is fine on occasion but when it becomes a habit it shows a lack of self-discipline in my approach to properly evaluate taking on a new project.   So think before you commit, give yourself an auto response such as, 'sounds amazing, let me check my calendar' to any/all new offers and 24 hour window to decide.  The flip side, always saying 'NO' can hurt your relationships as well. Eventually leading to not begin asked any more.  

(Another quick note, at work, if you are asked to take on a new role, or project before committing to it, be sure to take sufficient time to make sure that you are truly set up for success.   Nothing can be more frustrating and potentially damaging to your perceived credo and not to mention ego if you apply yourself with negative results.)

Respecting people’s time is also critical for a strong character. Constantly showing up late, is a complete lack of disrespect to others no matter how busy on is. As a leader, it's strongly suggested to re-evaluate scheduling commitments or learn to possibly delegate tasks that you can to free up other time to conduct your massive TO DO list.  

Be sure to have a high integrity – doing the right thing even when no one’s watching.  I personally believe in Karma. While I realize that bad things happen to good people, overall, there is much good that can be had when you follow a good nature d approach to people. We also have to remember that every action bestowed has an equal and opposite reaction.

Gossip - as a leader we know this can’t be tolerated. But its worth noting that gossip only ends up hurting yourself. If people do it with you, chances are they do it about you too.  

Challenge your inner biases. We often jump to assumptions of others which only ends up hurting the relationship.  Verbal & non-verbal cues could ensue that begin to build a wedge in the connection. Easier said than done but it’s best to treat and view every person with a level of curiosity and wonder. This will invite colleagues to want to be around and share more.   

 2.  Calendar those Conversations

I don't care if you are a multi-million dollar Fortune 500 CEO, or a janitor at Wendy's –above all else, powerful inclusive conversations spawn the greatest connection, creativity, innovation & stakeholder engagement.  And in today's multifaceted fast paced environment there has never been a more appropriate time to infuse this into your daily regime. 

True conversations have the ability to pull in ‘collective intelligence’.  

They foster greater levels of knowledge retention & understanding.  Stimulate fresh perspectives and ways of thinking about things.

One of the best gauges of the relevant relationships in your life can be directly correlated to how often you ‘chat with them’ for no other reason but simply to connect.

In fact, as a leader, conversations done well and consistently are indicators that you truly do care about that individual, which is a staple for relationship building.

Remember, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care’ John Maxwell

Conversations are the primary tool used for professional and personal coaching, as well as most forms of therapy & healing.   Powerful conversations combined with evidence based learning is also one of the most impactful robust approaches to all learning. 

3.  BE Yourself

So lastly, to develop strong leadership character you have to be yourself. A big part of having strong character is about being authentic. You have to understand & value yourself as you are now, as well as, continuously learn and develop your strengths. Each of us has something truly incredible offer this world. 

Embrace your uniqueness.

Last weekend, I was watching Oprah’s life class, a really good auto biography type show, that talks about the big breaks and the types struggles people face such as Ellen DeGeneres and Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson.

Interestingly enough, when ‘the Rock’ first started his career in the WWF, he played a ‘good’ guy. He was told by his peers to constantly smile the entire time, even when he lost! Even though the WWF wasn't exactly 'real' wrestling, this personality conflicted with his internal reasoning and eventually this mismatched dialogue affected his performance and was picked up by the fans.  He began to be constantly mocked. 

He took some time off after an injury and decided to return but this time he would be a villain which aligned more with his trash talking personality. His biggest learning experience in that was to try and be authentic where ever you can.

I personally struggle with this at times. Wanting others to think that I’m perfect, or have an overall fear of being judged. I would give away my power, and constantly assume others knew more than me. When in reality, like strengths, our individual personal and professional journeys have taught us lessons and ways of thinking that are just as unique and powerful as any seasoned professional.  

When it comes to obtaining a job, as much as it’s important to shine, it’s also important to show some of your personality. Because you want to be valued for who you really are.  If your personality doesn’t fit in, and you don’t get the gig, well least it saves you a year of torment & struggle.

Much of being authentic is about taming your fears.  As much as I hate to admit, the best ways to get over your fears is to confront them.  Interestingly, anything you do can help. Pick up a book, take a class or workshop, seek a coach or yes even therapist. Because the sooner you begin to challenge your fears, the less control they will have in holding you back.

Lastly, trust your gut. This isn’t something we are necessarily taught in school we learn through experience but it rings true for all of us. Often times we don’t listen to it because it nudges us to do the ‘hard’ thing. We of course would like to avoid it all together. But putting a band aid over a broken leg isn’t going to make it heal.  

In the end as a leader, one of the best and simplest approaches I take is that we are all human, and are all the same fundamentally, meaning deep down we all want to be seen, valued and heard.   If you can dedicate your life to helping address these three things with the ones around you than you are enhancing the growth and development of each person you meet.

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Danielle Lucido is a Leadership & Organizational Development Advisor forLinkage Inc. a full service leadership development organization helping leaders around the world since 1988. Danielle currently resides in Greater Boston area has her Masters in Science in Leadership from Northeastern University and has over 15 years experience in leadership in a variety of industries. She believes her life mission is to awaken, inspire and encourage others to live life to the fullest.