3 Beliefs to Bring to Your Coaching Sessions

“How do I schedule more consults?” my new client asked me the other day.

She has a ‘coaching niche’…

...a beautiful website…

...and a program to help her clients.

She has invested thousands of dollars into her business.

But she was lacking in 3 crucial elements that could help her get more consults…

...and also help her enroll clients into her coaching programs.

In fact, these “3 Musketeers” come together to empower your entire coaching sales process.

Who are they?

1. Belief in Coaching
2. Belief in Yourself
3. Belief in Your Client

“But I already have those!” (My client argued after I shared this with her.)

“Of course you do… which is why you’ve made it to this point,” I explained.

“And to make it to the next level…

...you’ll need more belief.”

“Because the coaching game gets MORE intense as you expand your reach.”

I went on to explain to her how every part of the coach marketing process is heavily impacted by these beliefs.

Your Beliefs Permeate Your Marketing And Enrollment Process

People have a sixth sense about communications in almost every form.

And, since your communication is just a function of your beliefs...

...people can tell what you believe as well.

That interaction between people and your beliefs will create (or destroy) attraction before and during a discovery session.

Your belief is also apparent…

...when you post on social media, or write emails.

Your belief affects every stage of your sales process.

Here’s what I told her to do:

“Create a journal so you can develop your beliefs over time…

...to reference before and after coaching calls…

...and to identify growth opportunities in your beliefs.”

I told her to “write through” her beliefs about each element in that journal:

Belief in Coaching:

Belief in coaching is the basis for both belief in yourself and belief in your client...

...because both you and your client are working within the context of coaching (at least, during your coaching relationship).

If you don’t believe in coaching...

...you won’t believe in either yourself or your client’s possibilities (at least not in the context of coaching).

The good news is that you already believe in coaching. You wouldn’t be reading these words if you didn’t believe in coaching at all.

But you’ll likely need to build this belief even more .

How?

Read testimonials written by other coaches and clients.

Watch examples of how coaching helps people.

Take notes.

Memorize methods.

Write about your own journey. Ask yourself questions like:

• “What was my life like before I began my coaching journey? Where am I now? How did coaching help me get to where I am now?”
• “Who have I already helped through coaching?”
• “In what ways has coaching helped them?”

I cover more about how I cultivated my own belief in coaching HERE .

Belief in Yourself:

This is often the most difficult belief to master.

Why?

Because believing in yourself risks failure, disappointment, and rejection.

You risk failure by attempting new things because you believe in yourself… Failure is bound to happen when you try something new.

You risk disappointments from the ‘blue sky’ expectations that self-belief brings out… Those high expectations are liable to provoke a few disappointments here and there.

What about the rejection?

You’ll risk a few rejections coming from others that don’t believe in you the same way you believe in yourself. Just because you believe in yourself doesn’t mean that others around you always will.

Belief in yourself will probably suffer until you start seeing your clients achieve breakthrough results on a regular basis.

When your clients are struggling, you’ll likely blame yourself… but that’s not going to help anyone.

What's worse?

When you’re deeply in doubt, you may not be willing to work on your self belief at all.

You might not feel strong enough.

It might be too painful.

If you find yourself hitting that wall… fall back on your belief in coaching.

When I first started coaching…

I was wracked with fear over my discovery sessions.

So, I asked my coach what to do.

I ‘borrowed’ his belief in coaching.

And even though my belief in MYSELF (MY coaching) was weak…

...I focused on my belief that coaching would help my potential client to succeed…

...with or without me.

But once you’re ready to deal with yourself… How do you strengthen your BELIEF in yourself?

Practice

Practice

Practice.

After each coaching session, ask yourself what went well.

Don’t skip this crucial step, because you’ll need it to encourage yourself before the next step…

...which is to identify 1 thing that could be improved, and then work on that one thing. (NOTE: Don’t overwhelm yourself with more than 1 actionable ‘work in progress’ at a time.)

Belief in Your Client:

This is the most pivotal belief of all.

Coaching is not about you.

At the deepest level, coaching isn’t even about a particular approach or method or process.

Coaching is ALL ABOUT YOUR CLIENT.

Coaching is 100% FOR YOUR CLIENT.

If you can’t believe in your client, no matter the reason…

...you’re automatically DISQUALIFIED from coaching them.

Very seldom (if ever) does coaching DAMAGE a client.

But THIS is where you WILL CAUSE DAMAGE…

...not believing in your client is the most damaging thing in coaching, and it could very easily overflow into your client’s life, mindset, and results.

"But, Colette, I have clients that are totally wrong about things... I can't just 'believe' them, right?"

Yes, you can. Because...

• Believing in your client doesn’t mean you have to AGREE with them.
• Believing in your client doesn’t even mean you have to approve of your client’s plan.

Believing in your client just means listening to them through the lens of possibility.

What’s the “lens of possibility”?

• When you see your client, do you see what’s possible? (or only limitations and problems?)
• When your client tells you about their goals and dreams, do you hear those goals as possible? (or only why they can’t or won’t make it through?)
• When your client tells you their plan to achieve their goal, do you know that they have all the tools they need to get there? (or do you predict utter failure due to lack of what it takes?)

Belief in your client isn’t rocket science! It’s actually pretty simple… but RARE.

Many people won’t bother to believe in your client…

...and THAT’S one big reason why you’re rare and valuable to them as their coach.

BOTTOM LINE: Believe in your client or DON'T COACH THEM.

Does all this ‘believing’ sound hard?

Labor intensive?

That’s because IT WILL BE some of the time...

...but what are the alternatives?

What happens if you don’t believe in the power of coaching?

You won’t even try.

You won’t study.

You won’t make progress.

You will do less and less in your coaching practice.

And eventually you will quit…

What happens if you don’t believe in yourself?

You’ll be nervous or afraid when you run coaching sessions.

You’ll hesitate when it’s time to enroll your client in paid coaching.

Your lack of self-belief…

...will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What happens if you don’t believe in your client?

Most clients will be able to tell in no time.

• They’ll feel your critique.
• They’ll hear your doubts.
• They’ll see your dismissal of their possibility.

And, as a result…

...they probably won’t work with you…

But even if they start coaching with you…

...they’re not likely to thrive.

They will either stop working with you…

...find another coach who will believe in them…

...or abandon their dreams forever.

So, I don’t see the alternative to strengthening these three ‘musketeer’ beliefs.

It only takes the smallest seeds of belief to start…

...and a little bit of nurturing...

…and protection from the elements.

Over time, you’ll see those seeds grow.

What if you don’t have ANY belief in one of these three ‘musketeers’?

• What if you don’t have ANY belief in coaching?
• What if you don’t have ANY belief in yourself?
• What if you don’t have ANY belief in your clients?

You can STILL plant a seed that can GROW into real belief.

That seed is something called COMMITMENT.

You can COMMIT to something even when you don’t BELIEVE IN IT.

Belief comes from commitment (eventually).

Without commitment, you’ll just skate along the surface of your coaching.

Your clients will notice how thin your delivery and process is.

You’ll notice (if nothing else) that ‘it’s not working’...

...and you’ll wonder why you have so many doubts about ‘this coaching thing’.

If you have enough commitment…

...you’ll spend the time building references for stronger beliefs.

If you have enough commitment…

...you’ll spend time in deep thought developing your beliefs.

How do you commit so that each of these beliefs can grow?

Commit to coaching:

• Get coached.
• Whether it’s a group program, individual coaching, or a mastermind, surround yourself with a community of other coaches to support you and your beliefs.
• True belief travels in packs.

Commit to training yourself so you’ll believe in yourself:

• Never stop learning, growing, and expanding your coaching skills.
• These skills will become your client’s results, which, in turn, become references for positive belief in your coaching skill (and yourself).

Commit to your clients:

• Be a stand for your clients to have a great life.
• Believe in them when they doubt themselves.

Most people will never have this experience outside of coaching.

Don’t undervalue the benefit of having someone to talk to who is a positive stand for you.

Start with commitment.

Continue to grow those beliefs through ongoing work, journaling, and contemplation.

And watch those loyal three ‘musketeers’ fight for you…

...until, one day, you’ll see what you believe IN REALITY.

Then you’ve won.

Colette “All For One And One For All” Coiner

Dr. Colette Coiner, PCC, PT, DPT, FAAOMPT

Associate Dean,?Master Coach University