28 Lessons From 28 Years

In honor of 28 years on this earth, I wanted to share 28 of the biggest lessons I've learned so far. Growth comes from examining your experiences, and I've been blessed to have all sorts of different ones, good and bad.

1) Not everyone is for you, and that's okay. Your tribe is the most important asset you can cultivate. Make sure that they are the right vibes. Get yourself into the right rooms, because that is where the magic happens. If you find yourself to be the smartest person in the room, you're probably in the wrong room (at least if your goal is to grow).

2) By the same token, don't burn bridges. You can have different opinions and still be respectful and civil with another human being. Being authentic is different than being disrespectful.

3) Trauma doesn't exist. The experience itself was a neutral event and your perspective on what happened lends itself to your subconscious goals -- which keep you safe, but not necessarily happy.

4) Unhappiness and happiness are both choices that you can make at any moment. Self-compassion and gratitude are game-changers. Practice both every single day.

5) Life is as simple or as hard as you make it. Notice I didn't say "easy." But sometimes we think that we have to "earn" things so badly that we subconsciously make life more complicated and chaotic than it needs to be.

6) For the love of God, slow down. Breathe. This 24/7 hustle "you're not enough if you don't produce" culture is wildly toxic. Allow yourself to feel. Process events. Give yourself the time you need because... happy moments = happy days = happy life.

7) Build good morning and evening routines. Because habits matter. Who you are is built over time by the identity you keep, and that has a lot to do with the things you do consistently.

8) Date yourself. You are the only you that will ever exist, and you can't be re-born as someone else. So it's best to get to know what you're working with. All so you can use that equipment to your advantage. If you can't love yourself yet, start with acceptance and work your way up.

9) If you want to grow exponentially, get obsessed. Go all in. Immerse yourself in that topic for 90 days, and I guarantee you'll come out of that experience a different person.

10) You don't have to know everything about everything. But, pick out a few key disciplines that light you up and go deep. Having range is helpful, but having mastery? That's rare.

11) Failure is tuition. To gain mastery over a topic -- especially if it's life related -- there will be an element of pain or discomfort you have to go through. Get comfortable being uncomfortable, and examining that discomfort. You have to extract the lessons in order to learn.

12) Gratitutde is the attitude. It's cheesy. And when you're struggling, it's the absolute last thing you want to do. But the more you practice gratitude, the more you have to be grateful for. What you focus on grows. (Which also means you attract things you're afraid of).

13) What I can control: My self-talk, my boundaries, my words, what I consume, my response, my attitude, my actions, my energy, my self-care. What I can't control: Other people's behaviors / beliefs, other people's opinions of me, the past, the future, the media.

14) If you don't have ideas, read. If you have ideas, but can't articulate them, write. P.S. Creating a study diet might be one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

15) The only time you ever truly fail is if you quit and give up entirely. Breathe. Take a break. Try again tomorrow. It might be a bad day, but it's not a bad life.

16) In quantum, things take exactly as long to happen as you need them to. Lessons that aren't learned the first time will in fact be taught again until the message is received.

17) It's never too late to change. Course correct as many times as necessary. If something no longer aligns, it's okay to move on. Cherish the memories, and close the chapter so that something bigger and better can be born. Even if you blow your whole life up, even greener grass will rise from those ashes.

18) Having trouble thinking? Go for a walk. The circulation helps your brain work better and the environment change gives you new perspective.

19) Tears are healthy. That is your nervous system regulating itself, and that is energy that gets to be released. If you hold it in, you're actually doing yourself a disservice.

20) Self-care doesn't always mean massages and mani-pedis. In fact, you don't even have to like it. But, it is the bare minimum you get to do to feel like a human being. Treat yourself with the respect you would have for a young child, and take care of your basic human needs.

21) Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. Everything. Even little things -- like the fact that it's Tuesday. The more you appreciate what you accomplish, the better you will accomplish the big important (and even difficult / uncomfortable) things.

22) If it was "easy," everyone would be doing it. Stay committed to the outcome (if it's within your values alignment) but it's okay if the steps to the outcome change.

23) Focus less on the accumulation of things, and more on the accumulation of once-in-a-lifetime moments in places with people who matter the most to you. You only have one life. Try new things. Go on adventures. Eat that weird food.

24) Resentment is a lot like cancer. It kills relationships, opportunities, etc. But mostly, it does nothing but rot you from the inside out and make you miserable.

25) There's a difference between compromising and settling. Know what you're willing to bend on, and know what your "non-negotiables" are. Walking away from a situation, opportunity, or person that is not a right fit might hurt temporarily, but sticking with something long-term out of fear or complacency will make you sick.

26) Keep growing. Even if it's only 1% better in an area per month, at least you're moving forward in a direction. Notice the growth. Keep track of what's working and what isn't. It will compound exponentially over time.

27) Learn how to solve problems. The bigger problems you can solve, the bigger rewards you can get. Critical thinking is a high-ticket skill. (But also learn a high-ticket skill like copywriting or sales too).

28) Relationships are why we are on this earth. Respect people. Smile at a stranger. Tell the people in your life that you love them and appreciate them. No one knows how much time we'll have, and you never know where possibility will take you.