27. Should You Praise Others or Not? —Personal Context is Key: Overcoming Indecisiveness
Wafa Damlaj, HR PhD Student
HR Business Partner at Amazon | HR PhD Student Univ. of Texas at Tyler
Series Overview
No wonder you sometimes feel hesitant and indecisive when receiving advice from AI, experts, social media, or loved ones, as these sources often provide conflicting guidance, which only adds to your confusion. This happens because no one understands your personal context better than you do. Without that context, external input can feel irrelevant. The key is to integrate outside advice with your own decision-making skills.
That’s why the "Personal Context is Key: Overcoming Indecisiveness" series has come to life. It presents two opposing viewpoints on a given topic, illustrating that while both perspectives have compelling arguments and solid foundations, the ultimate right choice for you depends only on your current situation and unique circumstances. Thus, understanding and applying your personal context is essential for making decisions that truly align with your capabilities, needs, and goals.
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Article #27: Should You Praise Others or Not?
Praise is a common tool used to motivate, encourage, and reinforce positive behavior, whether in educational settings, workplaces, or personal relationships. However, opinions differ on its effectiveness. Some argue that praise can lead to dependency and hinder personal growth, while others emphasize its essential role in fostering motivation and self-worth. In this discussion, we explore two viewpoints: one that critiques the overuse of praise, and another that highlights its psychological and motivational benefits.
Viewpoint 1: The Downside of Praise
Praise is often seen as a motivational tool, but both Richard Bailey, Ph.D., and the NeuroLaunch editorial team highlight its potential drawbacks. In The Problem with Praise, Bailey critiques excessive and indiscriminate praise, arguing that when individuals receive constant affirmation—especially for fixed traits like intelligence—it can lead to risk aversion and fear of failure. Instead of fostering resilience, praise can create a fragile sense of self-worth, dependent on external validation rather than internal growth.
The NeuroLaunch article, Need for Praise Psychology: Exploring the Human Desire for Recognition, supports this concern by acknowledging that praise triggers dopamine and serotonin, reinforcing a cycle where individuals seek constant external recognition. This can result in praise addiction, where self-worth becomes tied to validation from others rather than personal achievement. Overuse of praise, particularly in workplaces and classrooms, may foster dependency rather than genuine confidence.
Both perspectives caution against praise as a substitute for constructive feedback or intrinsic motivation. Bailey emphasizes that genuine growth comes from meaningful challenge and thoughtful critique, while the NeuroLaunch article warns that poorly applied praise can undermine self-reliance. Rather than assuming praise is always beneficial, these insights suggest it should be used carefully to avoid diminishing long-term motivation and self-efficacy.
Viewpoint 2: The Power of Praise
Despite concerns about overuse, praise remains a fundamental human need and a powerful source of motivation. The NeuroLaunch editorial team, in Need for Praise Psychology: Exploring the Human Desire for Recognition, explores how recognition reinforces self-worth, fuels personal growth, and fulfills core psychological needs. Rooted in Maslow’s hierarchy, praise strengthens a person’s sense of competence and encourages them to pursue greater challenges.
Bailey’s discussion in The Problem with Praise also acknowledges its benefits when used correctly. Praise that highlights effort and persistence—rather than fixed traits—promotes a growth mindset, helping individuals embrace challenges rather than fear failure. The NeuroLaunch article expands on this by explaining how praise triggers brain chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, fostering feelings of belonging and reinforcing positive behaviors.
Beyond individual growth, praise has deep evolutionary and social significance. Historically, recognition signaled value within a group, enhancing cooperation and survival. In modern workplaces, classrooms, and relationships, praise continues to strengthen bonds and inspire motivation. While it should not replace intrinsic motivation, sincere and well-targeted praise can be a powerful tool for fostering confidence, resilience, and achievement.
Finding Your Balance
The key to effective praise lies in finding a balance. While praise can motivate and build self-worth, it should be used thoughtfully to avoid dependency. Praise focused on effort and growth fosters resilience, while excessive praise for fixed traits can harm long-term motivation. By offering specific, sincere praise that encourages growth and self-reliance, we can empower individuals without fostering dependence on external validation.
Samar’s Two Cents
An important factor in praise is who we are receiving it from—acquaintances, siblings, parents, professors, mentors, or even strangers. The second factor is what we are being praised for.
When considering who is giving the praise, we realize that the more someone knows us, means something to us, or serves as a role model, the more their praise holds weight. Their opinion matters to us, making their recognition more meaningful.
However, sometimes when we receive praise from those we love, we might wonder whether it’s truly accurate or if it’s simply because their love and bias make them see us in a special way.
Similarly, for praise to be valuable, it should align with something we genuinely care about and prioritize. It’s also important to take praise from someone whose expertise or character we admire in the area they are praising us for.
To me, the most impactful praise is not for something within our basic abilities but for something that pushes beyond our usual capacity. Recognition of such efforts is deeply appreciated and can be life-changing. How many times have we made important decisions based on such praise? Personally, I know I have—many times.
However, the tricky part about praise is ensuring it doesn’t turn into an ongoing need for external validation. No matter how much recognition we receive, what truly matters is believing in it ourselves.
Wafa's Two Cents
Ask yourself: What is the desired outcome of praise? Is your aim to foster growth or build an emotional connection?
When emotional connection takes priority, praise can be a powerful tool. It nurtures relationships, builds trust, and provides a sense of validation, even if it means not fully addressing the truth. In this context, praise helps maintain harmony and supports emotional well-being.
On the other hand, if growth is the focus, honesty must come before praise. Offering direct, constructive feedback, even if uncomfortable, becomes essential for progress. Praise, in this case, could prevent necessary challenges and hinder development.
The takeaway: It’s a choice, and with that choice comes sacrifice. Emphasizing emotional connection may require sacrificing complete honesty, while prioritizing growth may mean sacrificing emotional comfort. Knowing when to prioritize one over the other is key to using praise effectively.
As the proverb goes,
Samar Kamaleddine | HR Professional | Bachelor of Business Administration @University of Balamand
Wafa Damlaj, MHRM | HR Leader @Amazon | HR PhD Student @University of Texas at Tyler