25 Years Ago I Graduated from College: Here are the 5 Most Impactful Pieces of Advice I've Followed

In May of 1999, I graduated from the University of Colorado. I had spent five years in Boulder focused on learning as much as I could about myself and the world. I got involved in student groups, did internships, obtained two degrees, and built great relationships. I spent a lot of my time in college thinking about this quote from Albert Einstein:

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day."

So it wasn't much of a surprise that when I graduated from college, I still had a lot of questions. But as I started to take steps forward, important pieces of advice seemed to find their way to me. Perhaps Tao Te Ching's quote was unfolding before me:

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear."

A few months after graduation, I had a job offer. It was to become the Sports Director at a radio station in a small town in Nebraska. I would be the play-by-play voice for the junior college basketball teams there. I was excited about the work but was not so excited about moving to the small town in Nebraska. About this time, my grandmother (who was 87 years old at the time) was in town visiting. I explained the decision I was agonizing over and without batting an eye, she said:

"Go and give it a year. A year is nothing in the grand scheme of things. And you can learn so much in a year."

And you know what...she was right. I took the job and in that year of experience, I gained a lifetime of stories, a best friend for life, and much more clarity about what I wanted in a career.

After my year in Nebraska, I'd move back to Colorado and work in marketing. One night, a friend of mine who worked in the same office complex invited me to a happy hour gathering celebrating a co-worker of his who was moving away. I ended up chatting with this woman for a short bit at the party and I told her a little about how I was feeling about my job in marketing and my current romantic relationship. I mentioned that I felt like I was settling a bit in both areas but was relatively happy. She cut me off and looked at me with the most intense and serious eyes staring into my soul. She stated the following firmly and with a deadly serious look on her face:

"Never, EVER, settle. You will regret it your entire life."

She walked away and I would never see her again. I don't know her name but I've never forgotten her advice. A few months later, I would leave my job (and my relationship) and move to the beach.

When I arrived in San Diego, I hustled and found a few different jobs. Each of them in an area of interest of mine. I helped run a smoothie shop, I worked promotions for a classic rock radio station, and I worked at a 24 Hour Fitness. After a few months and as the summer approached, I was offered a few promotions. As I evaluated the offers, I realized the workload would almost double but the pay would only be increasing by about 20%. In some ways, it would be a demotion. I thought back to my college commencement speaker's advice (Dennis Van Gerven). He encouraged us to be sure to have a period in our lives where we had little responsibility and simply got to play. He hinted that we would later be much more engaged in our responsibilities and 'adulthood' if we had given ourselves a few months of total freedom sometime in our past. He quoted Kurt Vonnegut:

You have been swindled, if people have persuaded you that it is now up to you to save the world.? It isn’t up to you [yet].? You don’t have the money and power.? You don’t have the appearance of grave maturity – even though you may be gravely mature… don’t take the entire world on your shoulders.? Do a certain amount of skylarking, as befits people your age.? “Skylarking” incidentally, used to be a minor offense under Naval Regulations… it means “intolerable lack of seriousness.”?

So I kindly rejected the promotions and instead had the most fun and carefree summer of my life. My days were spent working light and joyful jobs and then heading straight for the beach to surf until sunset. But as the summer ended, I faced another decision: should I head to gradate school to pursue what I started to discover would be my calling (counseling/life coaching) or should I take one more year and explore another passion first (working on a sketch comedy tv show in San Francisco with my 4 brothers).

As I pondered what to do, a mentor of mine was having a gathering. I explained what I was facing and he paused for a long time as he thought about the words he was going to say to me. Then, he smiled and explained that the logical thing to do was to go to graduate school and that most people would recommend this. And that was exactly why he wasn't. He talked about how graduate school would be there for me a year or two from now and that now was a good time to go explore another passion and to have another adventure so that I wouldn't have regret. Specifically, he said:

"Be a maverick. Be an independent thinker. Do things your own way."

I'd move to San Francisco and work on the sketch comedy TV show with my 4 brothers. We'd have a blast, make a ton of memories, and we would realize that the show was much more fun when it was just a hobby. But something else happened that year living in San Francisco: I would meet the woman I would eventually marry.

After living in San Francisco for a year, I was again faced with the decision of whether or not to go to grad school. And as I pondered it, I came across a quote that was new to me but certainly not new. It was Gandhi's quote/advice:

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

And as I read that quote, I knew I needed to go to grad school and become a career and life coach. By this time, I had encountered enough unhappy people that I felt confident that learning and applying career and life wellness principles and then teaching what I'd learned was what I wanted to focus upon.

So I headed to UCLA for graduate school. And now I've spent the past two decades coaching clients, lecturing, presenting workshops, writing a workbook called, "Select An Ideal Life (SAIL) , and creating a Coursera course called, "Thriving 101: Designing a Fulfilling Life & Career."

I'm so thankful to have received such great advice over the last 25 years. If any of it resonates with you, I encourage you to apply it to your life RIGHT NOW! And keep your eyes and ears open to the signs and advice coming your way in your own life.

In Summary:

1. Give it a year.
2. Don't settle.
3. Do a certain amount of skylarking.
4. Be a maverick.
5. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Best wishes, Jordan