25 Things, People and Events that Shaped the First 50 Years of My Life

It’s been six months since I turned fifty. With the pandemic keeping us all more or less isolated from one another, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on things this year. I’m grateful for that. The last six months have allowed me to put things in perspective, look at the big picture and appreciate all the things that have influenced my life up to now.

So I thought at the six-month mark it would make sense to document those things—in a sort of celebration of their awesomeness. I wouldn’t be who I am today without each and every one of these, whether they’re people, ups and downs, formative experiences, or even cultural phenomena. Putting this list together was an important experience in itself—calling up these powerful memories has filled me with nostalgia and love. I invite you to think through your own list. It’s quite a ride.

My list is long, so I’m going to split it in two. Today I’ll start with the top twenty-five, and I’ll share another twenty-five in my next post. Here are twenty-five things, people and events that have been instrumental in my life so far, and for which I am eternally grateful.

1.       My maternal grandparents taught me the value of kindness, hard work, giving to those in need, contributing to your community—and the joy of helping and supporting your family.

2.       My paternal grandparents modelled contentment, belief in equality for all, and radical acceptance of each other (they never met before they were married and they lived a happy life together).

3.       My mom was my first feminist role model. She has always gone for what she wants, doesn’t wait for permission, speaks her truth and doesn’t let stereotypes hold her back. What’s more, she raised her daughters to be fiercely independent and taught her children how to love and give to others.

4.       My dad is the strong silent type—kind, smart and sweet. He has been a pillar of strength throughout my life and has always pushed me to believe in my strengths, resilience and ability to succeed.

5.       My brother, Matthew, and sister, Leata, are always by my side when I need them, providing kindness, love, support and compassion. They give me strength, they make me laugh and I am grateful for them both.

6.       The Toronto French School taught me that knowledge is power (connaissance est force), giving me a world-class education, enabling me to become bilingual in French and teaching me Russian, which I use to this day when I meet someone Russian at a cocktail party or hear it in a movie.

7.       My aunt Lennie and uncle Jim were children of the sixties and free spirits when I was growing up. Their household was so different from my own, and the time I spent with them during the summers inspired me, made me happy and influenced me in so many profound ways. I loved the community of deep friendships they built – people were always over at their house, and they would take in anyone who was in trouble or who needed it. They set a strong example of kindness for everyone to learn from.

8.       Trips with my family were always a highlight of my year. From our annual March Break trips to Indian Rocks Beach in Florida to time in nature at our Bruce Lake cottage in Muskoka to ambitious road trips across Canada and the United States with my mother, my siblings and my Aunt Betty, we were always grateful for the adventure.

9.       David Clark, former president of Campbell Soup, inspired me to pursue an MBA at the Ivey Business School, just as he had. What began as a high school class trip to visit my classmate Alexa’s dad opened me up to the world of business and leadership and ultimately led me to do my MBA there almost a decade later.

10.   Working in retail at Fairweather in my last year of high school taught me how to work with customers, quickly understand what they needed and then determine how best I could help. With my honest and helpful approach, I quickly became one of the top salespeople, although I spent almost all my money on clothes (it was justified spending, since I didn’t get an allowance and had worn a uniform all through high school, so I needed clothes for university – and my employee discount allowed me to buy nice ones!).

11.   Western University gave me my first taste of independence and the true joy of having a wide range of friends and being part of a vibrant, engaged and diverse community. 

12.   Delaware Hall Student Council was the first and only leadership position I ran for. I was privileged to work with such a great team and I have so many fond memories of that year, including the rap I performed in a pink onesie to win the election. I have no idea how I won because I can’t sing and rappers do not wear pink onesies.

13.   Being a Residential Advisor (RA) and Don in residence at Western taught me to manage others, and it also cut the costs of my education in half. Taking on these roles, and not going out at night too often, allowed me to graduate with money in the bank.

14.   Paying for university taught me the value of money and how to stretch my finances out. While I lived in residence and my parents covered my room and board in my first year, I had to pay for everything after that, and I still often came close to running out of money (I remember a time when I only had $0.13 to my name!). But I could always rely on my weekly French tutoring job, when I would earn $40 to tide me over until the following week.

15.   My three summer jobs during university—as a receptionist at downtown Toronto law firm Raymond & Honsberger, at various telemarketing firms (I could sell anything), and teaching French to kindergarten students—were all formative and, respectively, helped me understand the dynamics involved in managing people, selling and motivating kids to listen.

16.   Petro Canada’s payment department was my first real job after university. I didn’t really understand what a career was or how to find a job, so when I finished my degree at Western, I opened up the Toronto Star’s classified section and circled everything that I thought I could qualify for. I landed a job with Petro Canada. The formulaic, mundane role couldn’t have been a worse fit for my adventurous, curious, entrepreneurial personality. That made it easy to quit without a second thought when, three months into the role, I was offered a job as a nanny in Paris. 

17.   Living in Paris at 21 was my first time outside of North America and it was truly when I came of age. Despite the fact I only earned $100 a week and knew nothing about caring for children, I felt like a princess who had arrived in a fairy-tale land, and every day—even the most banal—was an exciting new adventure.

18.   Being a nanny in Paris was my passport to an exciting travelling adventure. The Canadian family who brought me to Paris also took me to visit Hong Kong and the Philippines before they headed  back to Toronto. I then nannied for a British couple who were art historians and I learned everything I could about art from them and the exciting Parisian art galleries where I spent every weekend. When they left Paris, I worked for a French family, and they gave me a tiny closet-sized room off a spiral staircase that had only a bed, some shelving, a window and sink in exchange for taking their children to school. The small room made no difference to me; I was in the very heartbeat of Paris on the Rue de Richelieu, up the street from the Louvre and loving every moment.  

19.   Living in Washington, D.C., was humbling in many ways. I made friends with graduates of Harvard, Princeton, HEC and other top schools. They were interesting, smart and kind people, but I admit that meeting so many bright minds from around the world made me feel subconscious about my education, my intelligence and my belief in myself, which took a bit of a hit at the time. However, working as an intern at a D.C. startup was a game-changer for me. In less than two months, I flew to six airports across the United States, hired people and set up the distribution for a daily airline newspaper. I wish I had realized my strengths in operations and understood what was emerging in Silicon Valley at the time—I would have moved there directly. The Canadian Embassy was the only place I could work in Washington with my level of education (a BA at the time), and I was intent on making it happen before I ran out of money. So I made sure I got noticed by the head of HR and, after competing with a number of other candidates for the embassy’s Press Assistant role, I secured myself a job. Working among Canada’s diplomatic elite made me strive to be smarter and get more in touch with world issues than ever before. It was truly a privilege to get a bird’s-eye view into the Canada-US relationship, work with Canadian foreign correspondents and promote Canada to the US.

20.   My friend Anne-Sophie Villé was one of my dearest friends in the world. We met in Washington when I worked at the embassy and she worked at the World Bank. We were polar opposites and yet we were as close as sisters. She taught me how to dance salsa, merengue and tango (well, she really tried, anyway!) and vowed to teach me to relax and be more of a free spirit, something I continue to work on to this day. Anso, as she was lovingly known by so many, passed away from lung cancer nine years ago and is still missed dearly by so many of her friends and tango students around the world.

21.   Gloria Steinem made a profound difference in my life in my early twenties. Reading Revolution from Within made me reflect for the first time in my life on internal changes I wanted to make. It also gave me a good grounding in feminism and the importance of confidence and self-esteem. I am so grateful to her for so much of the progress that has been made for women.

22.   All my bosses taught me the type of environment I wanted to create around me. I am grateful to them for showing me distinctly how I wanted to show up in the world, for my team and for my clients.

23.   The Option Institute provided a transformative experience in my mid-twenties. I attended a retreat there called “Happiness is a Choice,” where I learned that each and every one of us can consciously choose to be happy. To this day, I call upon some of the principles I learned there at such a young age.

24.   Ivey Business School was perfect for me. While I was on the waitlist until just a month before class started, I was incredibly persistent and driven in my desire to attend. In fact, I called them every day like clockwork to check on my status. I thrived in my first year, earned a scholarship and made many new friends. While I visited Toronto every weekend to be with my boyfriend at the time, and I regret not building deeper relationships with my classmates, I loved every minute of school and thrived in such an incredible learning environment. And having those three letters after my name, from that school, gives me tremendous credibility in the business world today.

25.   Two leadership roles at Ivey taught me a great deal about myself. LeaderLab, a webcast speaker series I launched in my second year at Ivey, was a global success for the school and hugely inspirational for students, thanks to amazing speakers like Fast Company founder Allan Webber, former U.S. Naval Commander Mike Abrashoff and founder of the Boston Philharmonic Ben Zander. Unfortunately, it was not so successful for me personally, as it cost me a dear friend – our work styles just weren’t compatible and our friendship suffered for it. This experience taught me a lot about myself, and over the years I’ve done a lot of work on how I view, react to and engage with others; I’m a different person and leader as a result. Being president of the Entrepreneurship Club at Ivey was something I took very seriously. The year I held the role, we brought in a tremendous amount of top executives to the school, including Harry Rosen and Christine Magee. Hosting these events gave me a strong platform of visibility at school and beyond, as I also gave regular interviews about them on CP24 in Toronto.

I’ll have another list for you in a few weeks, and I’ll do my best to keep it to twenty-five, which isn’t easy! I hope this motivates you to think about your own list of inspiring, formative milestones.