24 Tons of Wisdom

Following up on my post about moving 24 tons of rock into my backyard, I wanted to write a quick article on some of the wisdom I learned during the week of moving my 24 tons. It took me five days to move the 24 tons of rock while working a few hours in the morning and at night to avoid the heat; which, left me plenty of time to keep up with my daily work and gave me plenty of reflection time with shovel in hand. Needless to say, during the week I had a few epiphanies during my manual labor.

1. Be like Bruce.

I had plenty of people passing my seeming insurmountable pile of rock over the five days. Most would pass and say…”wow, that’s a ton of rock” (actually 24 tons) or “man, sucks to be you right now.” Enter Bruce. I’ve never met Bruce; but, he passed my rock pile two days in a row on his daily walk. Both days he stopped to offer words of encouragement (and probably to give me a break) and to talk neighborly talk as you do when you first meet someone. Bruce was super nice, very warm and friendly. The third day Bruce surprised me. He walked by without saying anything - I just barely caught a glimpse of him out the corner of my eye (my headphones were in blaring some raucous heavy metal to keep my tired limbs shoveling). I was narrowing in on my last few shovelfuls as the temp was reaching the 90s that morning. Next thing I know, a gray Tacoma pulls up and out pops Bruce…and a shovel. He said “let’s get to work” and we started shoveling together chatting up a storm. He’s 74, likes bourbon and whiskey, has two grown daughters and grandkids he adores, is a dedicated family man (looking forward to the upcoming weekend of tee-ball and babysitting) and spent years in the insurance industry…and offers to help a neighbor he barely knows - he’s my kinda guy! We filled about seven wheelbarrows full before I noticed we both started petering out a bit. I went inside and found a bottle of wine aged in bourbon barrels for Bruce and his wife, Joy. Little did I know that Bruce's wife is my wife’s friend from bunko. As I handed him the wine I told him “there’s more where that comes from and you don’t even need to bring your shovel.” I’m excited to have a new friend in the neighborhood and I’m looking forward to cooler weather and “Driveway Fridays” with Bruce and Joy. When you see someone that needs help - be like Bruce.

2. Purpose over agenda.

The same week I was shoveling all the rock I had a ton of meetings. As with most things in business, not all meetings work out the way you anticipate. Many times it’s due to a relationship expectation gap (John King is the master of breaking down relationships and you should listen to this podcast I did with him: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/trenches-podcast-episode-2-tribal-leadership-ryan-parker/?trackingId=C%2BNxJtoZQmesFKB3DJ8Sxw%3D%3D) Well, one of the meetings was a tad “one-sided” and the relationship was shaping up, as John would say, as a “Utilitarian” relationship (think "tit for tat" relationship). As I heaved a few shovelfuls of rock that evening (this time while listening to The Joe Rogan Experience podcast with Gad Saad), it got me thinking about the difference between agenda and purpose. I have found lately that leading with an agenda seems to be preferable to leading with a purpose. As I pondered the concept I realized that an “agenda” is a hip, buzz-worthy, trendy, thing that generates a quick dopamine hit that creates conversation; but, doesn’t move the needle towards fulfillment of a purpose. I see a lot of organizations, and people for that matter, leaning into their agendas and foregoing the value of purpose. The agenda looks/sounds edgy and creates the impression of being hip to the new thing; but, it doesn’t strike at the issues at hand - I see it as watering the leaves when we should be watering the roots. Purpose in its purest form should be a motivating factor in the pursuit of raising up the community to a goal worthy of failing at at all costs. While I was coming to this realization, while on my 50th or so shovelful of rock, Gad Saad mentions in the podcast that to make true change you must be willing to die for the belief you bestow to bring about that change - in other words lead with purpose.

3. Yes, and?

One of my best buddies, Boyd Hamlin , and I talk about every two days. Most of the time it’s philosophizing about new revelations we learn about from life, biblical teaching (me listening and Boyd teaching) or just observations from the day...and very bad dad jokes. On the last day of my shoveling efforts (I have to admit, seeing the pile of rock finally disappear was a good thing) I asked Boyd how he grew his youth ministry in Amarillo, TX from 250 kids to over 1,250 kids in the matter of a year. He attributed it to one concept when coming up with ideas - ask "Yes, and?” He challenged all his team at the church to ask “Yes, and?” after any new idea was thought up. Boyd said it opened up the world of possibilities where most people stop at the original idea (I've always call it "taking the guardrails off" of brainstorming). With this type of “possibilities thinking” (thanks Wayne Clancy for letting me steal this term) we allow for more opportunity for more ideas. I loved it! Two simple words to expand any idea beyond its own barriers - “Yes, and?” I have started to challenge myself personally with “Yes, and?” and it has already paid dividends in how I approach new opportunities.

Hope you enjoyed these little nuggets of wisdom dug up during my efforts shoveling 24 tons of rock.