23 Pointers On How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Loy Machedo
Personal Branding Strategist, How To Get Well-Paying Jobs In The Middle East, One-To-One Consultation, Coaching & Mentoring
From the Desk of Loy Machedo: 23 Pointers On How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
So you want a Good Coach? Mentor Or Personal Trainer?
Almost everyone I have trained or has been my client
I have asked this one question
What made you choose me as your Mentor or Coach
And invariably, they have let me know the one secret
Or reason why they felt I was the right person for them
To mentor, guide and lead them.
In as much as I would like to believe
I lead them down to the road of victory
Because of this 'amazing' choice
I am also harshly reminded of the times
Where my relationship with my client has failed
Or has not worked out at all.
So that is why I have compiled a list of reasons
on How To Choose A Good Mentor, Coach Or Personal Trainer
And these pointers will help you not only choose the right person for you
It will also help you know if you are ready for the Coaching process or not.
So read this detailed summation of reasons
on How To Choose A Good Mentor, Coach Or Personal Trainer
And yes, more importantly, to know if you are ready for the Coaching Journey or not.
If you wish to get in touch with me
Loy Machedo
The World's #1 Personal Branding Coach
---------------------------------------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Mentor, Coach Or Personal Trainer
1. WHAT IS YOUR INTENTION?
2. AFFORDABILITY
3. SELF-SACRIFICES
4. BE PREPARED TO CHANGE
5. DISCIPLINED LIFESTYLE
6. BLOCKED OFF TIME
7. PERSONAL INTEGRITY
8. DO YOU HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
9. ARE YOU COMMITTED?
10. ARE YOU COACHABLE?
11. DO YOUR PERSONALITIES MATCH?
12. DO YOU HAVE A STUDENT MENTALITY
13. WHAT YOU PAY IS WHAT YOU GET
14. VALUE SYSTEMS
15. CAN YOU BOTH BE FRIENDS?
16. CHECK RECOMMENDATIONS
17. ASK FOR REFERENCES
18. LOOK AT THE NON-COACHING PERSON
19. ONLINE CONTENT
20. WALKING THE TALK
21. WATCH, OBSERVE, TEST
22. EITHER GIVE 100% OR NOTHING
23. MAKE IT MEASURABLE & TARGET BOUND
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #1
WHAT IS YOUR INTENTION?
Before you choose a Coach
Before you go through the entire exercise
Of deciding why you want a Coach
What you want to do with yourself
How specifically you want to achieve your target
Ask yourself – seriously ask yourself
What is your intention?
What do you really want?
Why you are doing what you are about to do?
What is the end result after all this?
How would you measure success?
How would you know if you are on track towards your goal?
For this you absolutely must know who you are, what you want
And why you are going for what you are going for.
If you are not clear about this
Trust me when I say this
You will end up wasting your money, your time
And most probably you will end up
Ruining your relationship with another person.
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #2
AFFORDABILITY
I am pretty sure more than 99% of you will say
Nope, I cannot afford one.
Simply because no one saves money for one.
In fact, among all the clients I have had relationships with
Not a single one of them had prepared themselves financially
But here is the thing
Even though they didn’t have ready cash
They had the burning desire
And they had a solution based mindset
So if you are looking to get yourself coach
And you do not have the money
Ask yourself if you can borrow – take a loan and get one
If however, you have maxed out on your loans
And you have maxed out with the people who can help you
Then forget getting yourself a Coach.
You have dug yourself into a deep hole
That most probably you are not going to come out from.
IMPORTANT TIP 1
NEVER and I mean NEVER recommend anyone
To withdraw money
From a Credit Card.
That is not smart.
And that is absolutely not recommended.
IMPORTANT TIP 2
Yes, I too borrowed money to get myself, my first coach.
And it wasn’t easy.
I didn’t have a job to borrow money from a bank
So I went around asking people to help me
And eventually, I got people who did believe in me
And lend me the money to get myself, my 1st coach.
IMPORTANT TIP 3
Do not and I mean DO NOT TELL THE ‘POTENTIAL COACH’
I do not have money
I cannot afford you
I am poor
The minute you say this
You not only disrespect your Coach
You lose respect in front of your potential Coach
Remember – there is no such thing as a free lunch
Just as you cannot go to a restaurant
And expect to be served good food
Not having cash
(You will get thrown out)
You cannot approach a Coach looking shameless.
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #3
SELF-SACRIFICES
Alright, so you have the money
You now crossed the first hurdle
And now you are going to officially sign the dotted line
So end of the story right?
Nope.
Just the beginning.
In fact – even before any student signs up with me
I always ask them these very important question
Do you have the time to spend for training?
Do you have the spirit to drive you for training?
Do you have the fire to make you push
through the tough times & stick to the training?
If you do not have the time or the internal drive
Please – do not get into the Coaching relationship.
Being Coached or the Journey to Self Improvement
Is a two way street.
Like my Coach used to say
Our 100% success is
50% you and 50% me
IMPORTANT TIP
You need to dedicate an average of 1 hour per day
To make change possible
In fact, sometimes I even tell my students
Anything from 1 to 4 hours a day is what you need
If you are looking for total and complete transformation
Within one year
IMPORTANT TIP
Dedicating time to your Coach is not
The only bit that comes under sacrifice
Being able to shut out Social Media
Not going for parties & Outings
Not eating your favorite dish
Telling close friends – NO
Indulging yourself in Self-Study
Self-Research and Self-Practice
Is all that comes under this concept
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #4
BE PREPARED TO CHANGE - COMPLETELY
Almost everyone who comes to me for training
I tell them or rather I caution them about one singular fact
That once the training process beings
They will change.
In fact - if they want to achieve successful results
They will have to change
Change everything - from the way they think
They way they act, they way they behave
They way they interact with others
And the manner in which they communicate
Both with themselves and others.
Almost everytime they say yes
But they are unaware of what to expect.
However, through experience I have known one thing
A singular fact
That Very Hot and Very Cold water when mixed
Do not remain the same
They both change
That is why with my clients - I tell them point blank
If you want to Change - even one thing
You would have to change everything.
IMPORTANT TIP
Try this out.
Try brushing your teeth in a different manner with a different hand and a different toothpaste
Dress in a completely different fashion for that day
Drive to work from a completely new route
Meet all the new people at work you have never met
Go to a totally different restaurant for the day
Try eating a completely new cuisine for the whole day
Talk to your friends, spouse in a completely new way for once
Sleep at a completely new time for the day
Do everything possible differently for that day
And take down notes of your experience
Chances are - after you have done this
You will not only have new experiences
But a new way of thinking
The same goes into Coaching
If you want to change - Change everything
Or else - you will - like a rubberband go to the same way as before.
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #5
DISCIPLINED LIFESTYLE
Before getting myself a Peak Performance Coach
I used to get-up whenever I wanted
Sleep whenever I liked
At whatever I desired
And enjoyed each day to the fullest
However, once I decided to take on the challenge
To run 21kms within 2 hours
(My best was 3:35 minutes)
This was my schedule
? 9pm – Prepare my Gear for the next day
? 10pm – Sleep
? 3:30am – Wake up, Cold Shower, Black Coffee
? 4:30am – Leave Home & Drive Down to Exercise Location
? 5:30am – Reach Location & Sleep in the Car
? 8:30am – Wake up + Pre-Workout Meal & Prepare Myself for Training
? 9:30am – Walk to the Location
? 10am – Training Starts
? 12pm – Training Ends
? 12:30pm – Reach Vehicle & Have Post Workout Meal
? 1:30pm – Reach Home, Put Clothes to Wash & Have Lunch
? 2:30pm – Sleep for 2 hours
? 4:30pm – Weak up, Pre-Workout Meal + Leave for Training Location 2
? 5:30pm – Reach Training Location 2 & Warm Up
? 6pm – Training Begins
? 7pm – Training Ends & Post Workout meal
? 7:30pm – Get Ready to Leave For Home
? 8:30pm – Reach Home, Put Clothes to Wash & Dinner
? 10pm – Sleep
I did this every alternate day for 2 years.
And I was not only able to achieve my goals
I was able to exceed all expectations
Of everything that I dreamt about
It never came in easy.
So now the question goes back to you.
How much discipline are you willing to put
To achieve the success you want to achieve?
IMPORTANT TIP
Do not go too much to the extreme
Take one step at a time
If you have never been to the gym for more than 30 minutes
You are not going to start a 3 hours a day - 7 day a week regiment
Start by doing it say 10 minutes 3 times a day
And slowly build from there.
Everything starts small and builds from there
Even in my case
To complete 21kms run
I started off with 100 meters first
And slowly built my way from there
That is how you do it.
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #6
BLOCKED OFF TIME
In the previous point
I shared with you the discipline and dedication needed
To ensure success
It was my routine and my time-table
Yours maybe different
Not a problem
But there is one important principle
You must keep in mind
You must have Time that you block off
Completely where ONLY your personal goal
Your personal challenge and your personal time
Is focused upon
The fact remains – no one has time
But you can create or make time for something
That is absolutely important to you.
You must make a decision that
On this day & at this time
I will dedicate it ONLY for this particular activity
And you must plan all other activities
Around this priority
Otherwise – it is never going to work out
IMPORTANT TIP
I divide my important activities into the following
1) What I need to do every single day without fail
2) What I need to do every alternate day.
In terms of what I need to do every single day:
1) Exercise (15 minutes)
2) Read any book – 20 pages
3) Go through 30 minutes of my online educational course
4) Post 10 worthwhile updates on all my Social Media Channels
In terms of what I do every alternate day
ALTERNATE DAY 1
1) 1 Article on my website
2) 1 Youtube Video
3) Add value to clients
ALTERNATE DAY 2
1) 10 Instagram videos
2) Answer Fan emails
3) Self-Marketing & Promotional activities
And once a week I have
1) Self Assessment
2) Creative Thinking
3) House Cleaning
4) Digital Cleanup
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #7
PERSONAL INTEGRITY
There is a principle that states
Fake it till you make it.
Yes, that is very much required
As when you start believing in something
That isn’t there – yes, it does start
Manifesting itself to you
And the body starts changing
Thanks to the placebo.
However, you bullshit with yourself too much
Then you live in a world of delusion.
Believing you are improving
When you do not put any hard-work
Or assuming that you are on the road to results
When you are not putting 100% consistently
If living in a world of delusion
And on top of that
Having justifiable reasons to support
Whatever it is you are comfortable doing
Is by no means the Road to Redemption.
Rather it is the Road to Reduction. (not talking about weight loss)
Be honest with yourself
And do not use excuses to justify lack of commitment
Hold yourself to high standards
And hold yourself personally accountable
IMPORTANT TIP
I have a friend – a young boy
With the name Aaron Dean D’Souza
Now he is a young lad
Still in his college years
And he doesn’t have the experience or maturity
That most of the people in my age have
He is half my age
But what I love about this lad is that
He lets me know honestly what I need to hear
Everything from
Your article sucks to
That video was terrible
The feedback that he gives me
Are so constructive, critical, concise and correct
That I take whatever he says seriously
But yes, of course, after
contemplating, reflecting and analyzing on what he stated
So the point I am trying to make here is
You do not need to have someone older than you
If you cannot find such a person
(Although it is best to have someone older than you
in terms of age, experience and expertise)
Then go for someone who is not only intelligent
Smart, dynamic & thought provoking
But someone who is highly observant and wise.
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #8
REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
I find it hilarious when I hear youngsters state that
They want to get a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger
Or that they want to compete for Mr. Olympia
Its more like what I used to dream about when I was a kid
I wanted to be an Astronaut, Movie Star, President of USA & Superman
Sounded cute at that time
But when I look at it now, I realize
Well – how innocent, stupid and immature
But guess what
This stupid & immature behavior
With unrealistic expectations are
not limited to children alone
It is not uncommon for me to get people who say the following:
1) I want to be the next Billionaire
2) I want to be the face of James Bond, Victoria Secret, Time Magazine
3) And at its worst – I want my ex to fall madly in love with me
Even if we do not take it to the extreme
Even simple things sometimes can be impossible
For instance
A young man who lacks discipline to sit, read, learn and educate his mind – wanting to be an industry expert
A woman who smokes, drinks alcohol and goes for late nights stating she wants get in shape
Or a person who doesn’t want to invest time, effort and money – but expects to impress everyone with ‘change’
I think it comes down to being true to yourself
And this is a formulate I have come up with.
If for instance you want to lose weight
And you are unable to lose even an ounce per week
Chances are – you will never lose weight.
Because in order to lose even 1 kgs of weight
You have to be able to divide it into 7 days or 14 days
Whatever the number of days can be
And then figure out
What milestones you will achieve at every step.
So being realistic is not about being pessimistic or negative minded
But rather being true to yourself
Either you have it or you don’t
And if you do have it –
Go and get it or like the people of Nike say it
Just do it.
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #9
ARE YOU COMMITTED?
Achieving success is a lustful wish everyone desires
Its like one of those fantasy love stories that everyone wants
However hardly anyone gets to experience.
And over here, I am not just talking about giving money
And or giving time.
I am talking about giving the intense attention, focus, energy and work
That only someone with mind-numbing obsession would have.
It is the kind that the stuff of legends are made up off
Let me give you an example
I have registered for an online course
On Internet Marketing & SEO
The course is pretty intense & details
Trust me – there are days when I just turn on the video
And all I do is just listen to it without heart or soul
I have learnt however, in a rather very painful manner
That I cannot afford to do this simply because
My existence depends on my application of knowledge
So yeah – I do not have any option.
But here’s the deal – I know 100% that if I have to succeed
I have to learn this course 101% committed
Otherwise – I don’t exist
Given the fact that now I reside in Thailand
(no more in Dubai where I can expect to get walk-in clients)
I do not have the luxury of taking things for granted.
So now – I have to give it 100%.
I know, I know I must practice what I preach.
But over here, let me just tell you that as I write this
I am redoing all my classes – my online classes
Right from Chapter one
Because 6 months down the line I have realized
I am following myself and I need to walk my walk.
However, over here, let me give you one example
Of one person whom I can tell you without a doubt
Who epitomizes Commitment is a student / client of mine
Whom I will only call as Re Mon
She was this ordinary woman from India
But who had extraordinary determination, discipline & dedication
Every word, Every task & Every assignment
I gave her – she not only took it to heart
She gave it her all.
To only her surprise but mine as well
She not only ended up getting a job twice the salary she was targeting
She ended up breaking off from a destructive relationship
Resetting her life from scratch
Taking some of the toughest decisions
I have seen any woman take
Today she has left the Middle East and gone back to her home country
Three to Four times more successful than what she once was.
In fact, we both are still good friends and I have nothing but
Admiration, Respect and Regard for her.
If she has been able to achieve such high level of success
It is only and only because
She was so committed to every task assignment and request I gave her
That she inspired everyone around her.
So the point I am trying to make here is
If you are willing to give an absolutely
A high level of commitment and excellence into everything you do
From prioritizing the challenge of self-learning
To giving it your heart and soul – you will never achieve success
And maybe – you shouldn’t get into the mentoring process as well.
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #10
ARE YOU COACHABLE?
You may find this a bit strange but there are a lot of idiots out there
Who come to me for coaching – but they do not need a coach
Rather they need someone who can beat the living daylights
Out of these people and then hopefully get them hospitalized
Want examples?
Example Number 1
Famous TV Star wants to be coached
What make it fucked up?
She wanted me to be available whenever she was free
She wanted me to dance to her tunes
She even called me to tell me how I should coach her
And yeah – the cherry on the top – how I should behave.
Example Number 2
Director of a Multinational Company
Wanted me to mentor him
But almost every suggestion, idea and tip I gave him
Was met with questions after questions
Doubts after doubts and then to top it all
Customized versions of what I had suggested and asked for
Eventually, I realized I couldn’t mentor him
Because he wasn’t ready to listen
And follow instructions
So then eventually we had to discontinue the relationship
Example Number 3
VIP Client, close connection to the very powerful people
Charming guy and very powerful
Someone who could easily pay me what 10 clients could
Although he was rich – still was a bit stingy
But he was ready to pay whatever I asked for
The only condition – I would have to be his bitch
Literally – I would have to come with him
Be with him, go with him whenever accompany him
Whenever he wanted
Now, though that was a tempting offer
And I was nearly going to sign up with him
And make it an official contract
Later on, I realized that they one reason he did pay big money
Was because he enjoyed having ‘slaves’
People who would be his ‘yes sir’ people
And those who would agree to everything he had to say
Even if it was a stupid idea.
To which I realized – I was safer not agreeing to the contract.
When you are talking about getting a Coach
Do not look for a ‘Yes Master’
Do not expect someone to agree with whatever you expect
Do you expect the journey to be smooth sailing
Do not anticipate happy memories
And most importantly – if you cannot bury your ego
Getting a Coach or Mentor is not for you
-----------------------------------------
How To Choose A Good Coach, Mentor Or Personal Trainer
Pointer #11
DO YOUR PERSONALITIES MATCH?
My client was a TV Personality, Model & Budding want-to-be Coach
My personality was brash, blunt and brutal
And on the inside – sensitive, caring and genuine.
However, her personality on the outside was sensitive, caring and genuine
But on the inside, her personality was defensive, sensitive, silly and child-like
And boy did we have clashes
Initially, it was all good. We had a very good relationship
However, as time went on and she started to experience success
Our personalities started to clash more and more
The primary reason was – her confidence soared
So her desire and drive to want to listen declined
And with her successes came a level of rebelliousness
Thanks to her increasing self-confidence and cockiness
And well – it lead her to backstab me and using whatever I thought her
Against me.
Well in case you are wondering what happened next?
Well the level of success she had reached –
has never moved from that direction
Or from that level.
All she has been able to do is diverse her portfolio
In new directions and industries
However, all it has done is – give her the illusion of growth.
And before you feel I am crying sour grapes
Let me tell you exactly why she failed
After our clash – she tried to resurrect herself with other coaches
And all it lead to was – going in different directions
Trying many different things
But all in no avail.
In as much as I would love to have the upper hand
And a feeling of superiority
That I was right and she deserved what was coming to her
I realized painfully that her failure was in fact
A very painful experience for me myself
Why because I had invested 5 years in her growth
Only to watch all of it go waste
And that is not the end result any Father, Mentor or Coach
Wants to see his student, client or disciple go through
It is indeed sad to see all the work, talent, skill and competence
Invested over so many years go to waste.
So the point I am trying to state here is
If your personality and the Coaches personality does not match
Do not try to assume that you can handle it or you can try to change it
Either you have it or you don’t
And if you don’t and you force yourself to try to accommodate the challenge
Eventually, the whole thing will explode on your face
And it is a lose-lose for both.
-----------------------------------------
To read the rest of the article ->> CLICK HERE <<