23 Lessons for My Children

My goal as a father is to raise happy, fulfilled, aware, kind, compassionate, resilient, emotionally intelligent, and well-adjusted children that contribute to society.

Parenting is incredibly personal... and there is no one size fits all.

Every parent, every child, and every situation is unique.

So I try not to give parenting advice...

However, I do try to share approaches and perspectives that work for me... in case other parents find them beneficial.

I have 3 kids (14-year-old twin sons and an 12-year-old daughter) and I’m constantly reflecting on how I’m doing as their dad.

And while I won’t fully know ‘how I did’ until my kids are grown, here are 23 lessons I do my best to teach, preach, and model for my children as consistently as possible:

1. Repetition is not punishment. It’s the oldest and most effective form of learning and skill acquisition. If you want to be good at anything... you must practice with purpose for thousands and thousands of reps (most of which occur during the Unseen Hours).
2. Be respectful. Respect yourself. Respect others.
3. You can’t be anything you WANT to be... but you can be anything you DESERVE to be. How do you deserve ‘it’? Work hard, work smart, and work consistently (and refer to #1).
4. Make good decisions. Every decision you make matters. If you make great decisions consistently, you will enjoy a great life.
5. The most important thing you have to offer another human being is your attention in the present moment. Giving someone your attention shows them you care. And caring matters.
6. You are free to form your own opinions and beliefs. From politics to religion to personal perspective - be a free thinker. Per #2, respect that everyone else has the right to their opinions and beliefs too.
7. If you do well, you can do good. Money is not the root of evil. People are. Money will simply magnify who you really are. Money can do a lot of good for a lot of people when used wisely.
8. Never stop learning. Never stop growing. Never stop developing.
9. Self-awareness, kindness, empathy, compassion, vulnerability, open-mindedness, and a sense of purpose are important tools. If you develop them… most everything else will fall into place.
10. Find what you love to do, figure out what you are good at - then find where those two points intersect. That is your Strength Zone and where you will add the most value to the world.
11. Listening is one of the most important skills you can develop. Listening is the key to communication, communication creates connection and connection forged trust. And trust is the foundation of all relationships.
12. If you want something, ask for it. Never be afraid of the word ‘no.’
13. Confrontation, accountability, and discipline are signs of love and respect. Embrace them. Give them.
14. When you mess up... acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on to the Next Play.
15. You can ask me anything and I will answer truthfully. You can tell me anything and I won’t judge you. I will always love you unconditionally.
16. You need to align your dreams with your habits. If you don’t, one of them needs to change.
17. Be the teammate you want to play with. And I’m not only referring to sports.
18. No one owes you anything. If you want something, earn it. Don’t ‘put your hand out’ unless it’s to help someone else.
19. When you ‘make it to the Penthouse’ - send the elevator back down to help bring someone else up.
20. Try new things. Go new places. Meet new people.
21. Being physically fit is not a certain weight or measurement or size... or having six-pack abs... it’s a mindset and a way of life.
22. Don’t play the comparison game. Run your race.
23. ALWAYS put your shopping cart back.

If my kids only do #23, I will have done a pretty good job!